M/C or will be? Confused, not coping very well

[loubloutwinmum]

Had some light brown discharge on Mon, when I was 10 weeks. Had scan yesterday & no H/B & baby only measuring 6 weeks & I know my dates were right. I have appointment to be rescanned next Tues & am just waiting!

I am devastated, had M/C 10 years ago before going on to have healthy preg resulting in my lovely twin daughters. Last time I bled heavily & was horrendous but over relatively quickly w/o much medical intervention! I just don't know what to expect this time, am struggling with the loss & emotions are shot & struggling to hold it together in front of girls. It is worse though as I'm in limbo & am off work, keep crying & to be honest I just want it over so we can start picking up pieces! Anyone got any advice or reassurance!!!

Sorry to hear this - its a horrible thing to have to go though.

I was in a similar position 3 years ago - bled at 7 weeks and then scan confirmed no hb and mmc diagnosed. I had medical management (pills and pessary) and was in hospital for a day with this. It wasn't a pleasant experience but it was over relatively quickly though you can have a D&C instead which I believe you'd need a GA and be in hospital for.

I was very upset after it and thought I'd never have children as I was 35 and needed some couselling afterwards which helped tremendously.

Take care of yourself and keep talking to your partner as I struggled with this in the aftermath.

sorry for your loss. I had the same thing happen 6 months ago and am going through the same again now. 6 months ago I mc naturally whilst waiting for the second scan, it was fine actually, as these things go. Not much more pain or blood than a bad period, lasted less than a week. This time I'm having an ERPC (not waiting for a second scan as I'm 100% on my dates) as I don't want to wait, it can (though may not) take weeks and I just want this over with.

From what I gather all options (natural, medical and surgical) have their own pro's and cons but there is very little between them in terms of what's "best", i wanted quick so chose ERPC, if I'd known that I'm definately going to mc in the next few days I'd go with natural (I did decide this initially but changed my mind) but that's impossibe to call. I don't fancy medical management as I was told it can sometimes be unpredictable as to when the mc will actually happen and not always successful so you may end up needing an op anyway.

Good luck, I'm sure whatever you choose it will be fine. xx

Hi Liskey thanks for your post & your experience, I really appreciate it & it helps to know what to expect!

Sunshinesue so sorry you are going through this again & thanks for posting! I am not coping with the waiting for the second scan at all. Have a bit of pain in my tummy this morning & hoping things happen naturally. Just feel so crappy & sad & dealing with physical side of this is awful. Emotions are bad enough to deal with! Sunshine hope you don't mind me asking, have you had a successful pregnancy? Are you going to ttc again? I'm 37 & not sure I can put myself, Dh through this again. I have two gorgeous girls, I am so grateful for that.

Thanks again both of you for replying, really helps.

I've not had a successful pregnancy yet (I'm 31). If I already had children I'm not sure I'd try again either as it is very hard on everyone but I'm not beaten yet!

What does help is the fact I know that whilst it will always be a painful memory it really does get easier to cope with as time goes by and when you get your next BFP the pain does seem worth it.

I don't know how long it took you to concieve this time round but my first and second pregnancies both took 5 months, so the mc won't necessarily throw a spanner in the works from that respect.

Take time out for yourself and family, last time due to previous work and personal commiments we didn't feel we could get out of we didn't even have a weekend "off" on our own for 2 months afterwards and I only took 2 days off work, I was mentally and physically on my knees and looking back it was a really stupid way to try and carry on.

Take really good care of yourself, we'll all be ok x

Sorry to hear about your experiences Sue thats horrible to go through 2 miscarriages like that - you defintely need time to recover emotionally and physically.

I did get pregnant about 8 months after my mmc and have a DD now. Another friend who's had 3 miscarriages has just had a successful pregnancy.

Take care.

Thanks sue I really hope you go on to have a very healthy, successful pregnancy next time, you are very brave & I really wish you all the best. My pregnancy was a bit of a surprise as hadn't been trying & were using contraception so we were shocked but delighted! Thought we'd left it too late. Thing is you don't quite realize how much you want something til you haven't got it anymore! Will take time to come to terms with it & DH is being amazing but he is so cut up, I am finding that hard as feel responsible ( logically I know I'm not). Thanks again & hope things work out for you. X