Am I just unlucky?

[sunshinesue]

I've just had an emergency scan after bleeding at 10 weeks, nothing but an empty sac so a mc certain. I had EXACTLY the same thing happen 6 months ago (first pregnancy, no children). I know the NHS won't investigate until 3 recurrent mc but I'm not convinced it's just bad luck. My OH and I are both 31, in good health etc. I guess I'm just having a hard time believing life can be so randomly cruel and would prefer to have a reason I could address and problem I could try to sort out rather than just crossing my fingers and hoping for the best next time. The consultant said that 2 consequtive mc is still more likely to be chance than a recurring problem, is this true or a bit of a fob off? Has anyone been private after 2 mc? Has anyone been through the same?

Thanks for reading, sorry for the ramble (and sorry for the self pity, I know there are many worse off).

Sue, I am so sorry to hear about this. I have had the same thing happen once, and it must be terrible to go through it again. I don't really have any useful medical advice, other than to say a friend of mine went through two miscarriages both times before each of her two lovely children were born, with no real reason. So there is hope, despite the horrible circumstances. Life's just hard sometimes when there's no answers. Just felt I should reply - take care x

I am so sorry to hear your news. Life can be very cruel.

I don't really have any advice but would like to say I had three miscarriages before I went on to have my DS and then DD. My DS has cystic fibrosis and the medical opinion of my miscarriages was that the pregnancies were just not viable due to CF. DS hung on in there though! DD happily does not have CF.

Wishing you good luck and strength x

Thank you both so much for your kind words, it really means a lot x

sun I am really sorry to hear about what happened to you.

I went private after 'just' 2 MCs I could not face a third.
I went to see Raj Rai privately at St Mary's the whole thing cost about £1000 but we found a cause and have a treatment plan in place for next time (hopefully soon).

Statistically it is likely to just be bad luck but I wanted to know that for sure before putting myself through all that again and as it turned out, it was not.

Good luck

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss

I had 2 mc's before having DD2. I did go private as I felt the same as you. I had some basic bloods like clotting but everything came back normal and the consultant said the same as you've been told. They did suggest 75mg of baby aspirin and progesterone suppositories from BFP and I got a sticky one third time round . I do believe it can be just bad luck after 2, even after 3. Hang in there and I hope you have a sticky bean too soon

So sorry about your loss. I've had 2 miscarriages, at least 1 chemical pregnancy, 2 children with special needs and one without. We are just about to start investigations.

Hi,

I'm very sorry for your losses.

I have had 4 MC. I was offered tests after my 4th by the NHS, though they did say that I should have been offered them after my 3rd, an 'oversight' on their part!

It is my understanding that most Drs will only test after 3, but I have heard cases where they check after 2. A friend of mine had 2 and refused to leave her GP's office until he had done her a referral. I'm not sure I would use that tactic, but she got what she wanted!!

After my 4th MC I too went private at St Marys and I saw Prof Regan. Like Farfalla it has cost approx £1000 (so far!!) I got in contact with them in July, had my 1st consultation in October (yes it takes that long even if private!!) and got the test results 2 weeks before xmas.

Again like Farfalla it seems that Prof Regan has identified a cause and we will be receiving treatment next time around.

Looking back, if there was anyway I could have got seen by St Marys after 2 MCs, i definately would have, so i think it is worth persuing it, but just be prepared that the Doctors may be adamant that they will only test after 3.

If it is any consolation, when i first saw Prof Regan, she began the session by explaining to me that even thought I have had 4 MC, the reason is STILL most likely to be 'bad luck' and went some way in trying to explain just how common MCs are and how many women go on to have healthy pregnancies, even with no medical intervention. To be honest, i didn't find this very comforting, but I suppose it does put some perspective on things.

I hope this is some help

xx

So not self pity. My first pg ended very like yours. I then had my son then another mc. I never realised how common they were. Each mc is awful but it could well just be chance. Do you know your blood type? Could it be a rhesus neg thing? Hoping for a beautiful bouncing one heading your way v soon. Could GP suggest any simple tests you could do private to rule out probs?

I had two missed miscarriages. there was two years and two months between them. I then went on to fall pregnant again a year later. I now have a healthy happy little 18month old boy. They also told me that they do not do tests until after three miscarriages. Unfortunatly life really can be that cruel, and its not fair. I hope all goes well next time for you like it did for me. Sorry for your losses. x

Just to add aswell, that even when they do run tests, quite often they cannot find out the cause of it.

I had two miscarriages, two healthy normal pregnancies, then a third miscarriage.

I don't think this is unusual. Sadly. It did not occur to me to go private, but I did have a bit of a break after the second miscarriage and that helped me come to terms with it.

Sorry that you have gone through this.

hi,

so sorry to hear of your losses i agree you are not feeling sorry for yourself! you have lost 2 babies (i know some people dont see it that way but from your BFP you are having a baby and that is a big thing to lose)

i have had 7MCs at various stages in the first trimester and i insisted on being referred after my 3rd. i cant afford the private route but by all accounts i wouldnt have been seen much quicker and the outcome would have been the same! i have a "reason" for my losses and treatment plans in place if we decide to TTC again (4 years and counting since we started TTC#2 with 6 of the 7MCs in that time)

it can be 'just bad luck' but it is an awful thing to reconcile with without a real explanation IMO

Hi, I'm really sorry for your losses. Very heartbreaking. I'm one of those people who firmly believes that "luck" has nothing to do with miscarriages. There is always a reason; be it genetic, biochemical, immunological or hormonal. Many miscarriages occur because of genetic problems, but alot occur because of other issues.

I had 4 miscarriages after my DD - even after the fourth miscarriage, I was STILL being told that it was "bad luck" by consultants at the miscarriage clinic!!

My next pregnancy after that miscarriage I did research and was taking a whole hotch potch of vitamins and aspirin and am now 39 weeks pregnant. Luck? I don't think so. I was treated for a problem and that "cured" me.

If you can afford it, then I would go private, but before you do, I'd ask your GP to run some blood tests for your thyroid, essential vitamins like vitamin D, progesterone. You may just have a simple problem that could be fixed with the right medication without going down the private route.

Hope you make good recovery. Good luck with everything.

thanks everyone, your responses have all been really helpful and I'm truly sorry for all your loses. Going to give myself a bit of a breather from all things fertility then take stock in a couple of months.

Good luck to everyone and thanks again.