any support/advice/stories of hope?

[hugahuddy]

any chance of help. I miscarried a couple of weeks ago, mostly naturally, went to hospital for pain relief and was faint from blood loss, had drip. had scan in hospital, products remained so had medical management, more clots and bleeding. welcomed the distraction of christmas, bit more lost now all commitments are over. had another scan today and absolutely gutted that products still remain, due another scan in 10 days, had stopped bleeding and was looking onto try and conceive but now dreading more bleeding and clots passing, might need medical management again or d&c, and told to use protection, womb not ready to conceive. had hoped the chapter was closed but not yet, any advice or thoughts???

I am so sorry for your loss. It really does help to be busy and to have someone you can talk to (and cry in front of). You need to allow your emotions to escape. If you need to sit and cry for an hour then do so. Unfortunatly, people do miscarry, i miscarried twice. Can i just say that it is easier to have a d&c rather than medical management. The tablets are horrid. I remember, i had medical management with my first miscarriage, but had the operation with the 2nd which was an easier option in my opinion. Unlike you however though, i had no bleeding or anything and the baby etc was all still intact but had passed on. Only those of us that have been through it know the pain of a miscarriage. I am glad to say though that i now have a healthy happy little 18month old boy, and i am sure one day you will achieve that too. For some reason, unknown to you, this baby wasnt meant to be and all i can say is I am truly sorry. x

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks nearly 5 years ago. No real reason for it. I am now looking at my 4 year old and his 2 year old brother is playing next to us. These things happen and there is nothing you can do but grieve amd try again. It is horrible and shit but it's not the end of the world and you will get through it.
Good luck!

thank you, this is perfect, i'm so grateful for these examples of happy outcomes! i'm not expecting a magic wand to make everything rosey instantly and it has been an upsetting day today but these make me smile, which is no small task right now so thank you. xx

i know its hard. It gets easier. I still look back and think about them, My first would have been 5 on boxing day. I occassionally wonder what they would have been like, but my son cannot and will not live in their shadow. You will get there, just sometimes you have to take the long (and much more painful way) round. x

it's a marathon not a sprint eh?! just feels like i'm getting older, into my 30s and don't feel i have time for a long slog, i pray i can look back in a few years like you can, and give others hope! thank you xxx

Yup definitely a marathon! Take some time off to grieve and then try and move on. I just focused on what I could do for an even healthier pregnancy. Took iron supplements, made dh stop drinking, just tried to make everything healthier. Try not to get upset at what people say to you. No one is really going to be able to say the right thing. It will be a shit week or two but every day you will get that bit stronger.

Hugahoody sorry you are going through this. I had 6 weeks after finding out the baby had died and whilst most of it went within a couple of weeks (not sure how as not much blood but anyway) there was still a tiny bit that didn't budge and eventually I had a D&C. It really did draw out the miscarriage and mean it was difficult to move on and obviously delayed the TTC for a while but it did end eventually and I finally got a period 5 weeks after the ERPC. They did reassure me that if it is only a tiny bit left then it wouldn't be very dramatic if/when it finally expelled.

The only thing I held on to was that it can be too bad an environment for the little bean if it so wanted to stick around there for so long!!

Things do get better with time although even months later there are still things that get to me. I know the disappointment of returning for a scan to find out there is still product left - I was almost a regular at my EPU.

thank you, i keep thinking about getting on the treadmill and it would be a great focus to think of being healthier for a hopeful next time.

Thanks LIG, that's a great thought that my womb isn't totally hostile, something must have worked well. i hate being at EPU, everyone else seems to have big bumps and be beaming, i also have a tilted womb so all scans internal and last scan i was 95% sure all would be gone, was gutted. i can;t believe that this tiny bit left is worth going for a d&c over. 6 weeks sounds like a long time for your journey, i'm kind of hoping for big period and natural passing, so long as it's not too dramatic again.

thankyou for your thoughts, i hope things work out for you if you are trying again, i think this whole mums net thing is the ultimate in 'girl power', there is such incredible strength out there. hugs to you all. x

Some good news,had mc on 6 th October am now 5 weeks pregnant and am 41 so time was running out for me, so please stay positive and just keep going, time does not stand still and that old saying if you fall off get back on does work, god bless x x

congratulations kellzi, that's wonderful news. i feel like i'm getting worse each day, more teary and feel disappointed at my recovery but like you say, just got to get back on whenever i fall off!! wishing you a wonderful pregnancy

We had MC at 7 weeks, requiring D&C. Fell pregnant 6 months afterwards..had early scan and all was well. Then started bleeding again at about 7 weeks and seemed like history was repeating itself. But here I am now with 7 month old DS sleeping upstairs! One thing I would say is I felt so alone going through MC but the minute you start speaking to other women you find you're the norm not the exception! Good luck OP!

thank you!!!