I'm not sure what to do about a funeral. We have opted for the burial with other december born babies but it seems so inpersonal. We live next door to a chapel and dh's grandad is the elder there so I think if we asked he would do a memorial service but I'm not sure. I'm worried nobody would come and what would someone say at the service? I've only ever been to a funeral of an old person where someone talks about the good things they did and my baby didn't get a chance to do anything. He went to legoland with us while I was pregnant but I don't think that counts although my 5 year old may disagree with me 
. Maybe something quiet at home, just me and dh, I just don't know. He won't be buried for another month or so and the nurse said we can change our minds if we want to bury him at home, I just don't know.
We haven't told the boys at the moment either. I have 3 ds's aged 5, 3 and 11m. I don't think we should at the moment but I think we should after christmas although dh thinks we shouldn't. My eldest knows this can happen as a few of the people we know from toddler group have announced pregnancies early and then miscarried and he knows my friend has been trying for a baby for a year now but they didn't know I was pregnant this time. Not sure if I should tell my mum and dad now or wait until after christmas. DH had told his mum and dad already and told his grandparents afterwards. My mum is one of those people who thinks that if you have a child who has special needs then you shouldn't have any more (ds2 and ds3 have physical disabilities) so I was putting off announcing this pregnancy. DH thinks we shouldn't say anything now but my mil said we should tell them as if it was one of our children going through that we would want to know. But now is the first time I've had a bit of peace to tell them (dh has been taking me out all over the place trying to distract me) and it's christmas eve. I don't know if it would be kinder to wait now. They need to know at some point because my sisters haven't had children yet and they might be at risk too. Of course they think that miscarriage and infertility happen to "other people", ttc takes no more than 3 months, morning sickness involves throwing up once in the morning and stops at 12 weeks and pregnant women look like radient beings with footballs up their jumpers. I was like that once but now I'm older and cynical.
The nurse yesterday said no cooking dinner today, no being left alone for 24 hours and no heavy lifting for 48 hours. I asked her about carrying my 3 year old up the stairs and she said definately not for 48 hours but not sure about after that. My friend who had an erpc said take it easy for 10 days because she caught a plane on day 7 and ended up back to square one. DH is off work until new year so I want to make the most of him being around so I'm physically recovered in time for when I have to do the school and preschool run, toddler groups etc which I find quite tiring at the best of times. At the same time I don't want to take the mick. DH has "popped out" (3 hours ago, grr) leaving me with all 3 kids. We are watching cbeebies so we should be ok although if one of the youngest 2 does a poo they will have to wait for dh as I'm not meant to carry them up the stairs or lift them on to the changing table. I could go and get the mat, nappies etc and do it downstairs on the floor though, didn't think of that.