An elderly lady shared a story with me yesterday about her stillbirth.

[PippiLongBottom]

A lady I know through work, kind of a regular customer was aking me about my children and whether they were girls or boys etc.

This lady has slightly diminished intellectual capacities if that makes sense, she is always accompanied by a carer, but I know she lives at home with her husband so it may just be an age thing. Anyway, I said I had a girl and then two boys. And she said that she would have had that but her first was a girl that was stillborn.

I always read the threads on here about how important it is to remember the child and its name etc, so I asked her what she was called. She said "oh I didn't name her". I found that incredibly sad, and thought that perhaps in those days (1960's?) that this kind of thing was brushed under the carpet and people were expected to carry on as if nothing had happened. She told me that the Dr had said it was a good job that she hadn't survived because her head hadn't developed properly. I bet she didn't even get to see her or anything. Very sad.

:( my grans was (and this was what they said to her verbatim) "taken to the incinerator" before she met him. Makes your blood run cold

I worked with a couple in their nineties, the woman had severe dementia but her husband told me that their only child had been a stillbirth. He or she had been delivered at home and the Dr had taken the baby to the incinerator (actually within their 30's block of flats). He was still devastated all those years later.

My grandad delivered on of his children in the hall of their house and called the doctor because he couldn't get the baby to breath and the doctor came and just took it away

This was told to me the women that was pregnant again after multi MC's and had dialled 999 thinking she was in prem labour again and was told she was constipated after 2 blue light vehicles sped to her house

My grandad delivered ONE of his children.

Horrible stories, especially about the incinerator. My grandad worked in a hospital and told my mum some terrible stories about the incinerator. There is an organisation on facebook called Lisa's Stars who campaigns and helps parents with issues surrounding stillbirth. She has lost four babies and what happened to one of them is so sad: her was presented to her naked in a tray (like a cat litter tray) with just a piece of tissue paper covering him. She now makes and distributes teeny burial gowns to hospitals. So sad.

pippi that is so sad, there's no excuse for it. My baby brother was still born last year, a midwife did his hand and footprints, cut a lock of his hair, dressed him and swaddled him in a blanket for my mum and we all met him and he was blessed before he was taken.

What a sad story. I really hope we have moved on from this.

my baby was stillborn in April, and well its changed so much now she was treated as my baby and given the care she deserved by the medical staff. My MIL's first child was stillborn too and she was rushed off after birth but MIL managed to have a look at her. My Grandmothers middle child was still born and she was told you dont want to see him he's blue. She called him Micheal, but never got to hold him or see him.

I think I was lucky (for want of a better word) that I got to hold my baby, cuddle her, dress her and talk to her all day. I was given the choice to when I was ready to give her up.