feeling very shit - when did you start to feel better?

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

Had a mmc at 10 wks, found out a week ago at 12 wk scan. Have been very sad but just about ok, just relaxing at home (parents took DD to give me some time).

Today we went out for lunch and I just found it too hard, being out, dealing with minor stresses, listening to people talk on and on. I just feel exhausted.

I've got next week off work, bosses have been great, pretty much told me to stay off for 2 weeks/as long as I need.

I know at some point I will feel better, but if anything I feel worse now than last week, I can't even describe how I feel, maybe numb. I'm trying to be normal for DD's sake, I'm so happy to have her, but I can't plan any further than Fri and Mon (when DH will be at work).

When did you start to feel better?

Oh you poor thing. What a dreadful shock to get as far as 12 weeks and then find out.

I'm afraid for me, both times it went in ups and downs. Sometimes I'd have a couple of good days and then a whole bad week till the next "good" day. Eventually the good parts of the day started to outnumber the bad times. But even weeks and weeks later I'd still get sad about it sometimes and be upset. It does take time but in a month or so you will look back and see that you are doing much better. Sometimes at the stage you are at though it does seem worse for a while. I found that after the first week, when all the worst of the physical stuff was over, I felt worse because I finally had to start coming to terms with the emotional aspect, rather than just worrying about what would happen at the hospital.

It takes time and you need to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve.

thanks KatandKit, it was a really awful shock, I think I'm just starting to get over the shock a week later. I was completely broken coming out of the scan room, I have no memory of getting to the EPU.

I was quite 'high' at first, just focusing on getting through the medical management. I think was so relieved the physical side was ok, that I felt high. The hospital were really great as well, I felt so grateful for that. Now all that has passed, I'm left with....

It makes sense though, and it's good to hear that this sounds normal to others. I've cancelled any plans for the next week, I'm just not ready to deal with much at the moment, unless it's spending time with someone very sympathetic.

Your 2nd post resonated so much - you are not alone. I am nearly 8 weeks down the same road( loss at 14 weeks).

This will be with us forever. It seems to be all that fills your head.

It will get better

Big love xx

thanks for your kind post shakemyhead, I'm so sorry for your loss, it helps a lot to hear from others. Everything seems to be getting back to normal, DH wants to do DIY, no-one is calling or texting anymore, I'm just not there yet. But I can have faith that I will.

I empathise so much. Two months on, I was getting on quite well, but i have found myself unexpectedly wobbly over the last week, and spent last night in floods of tears. I wish I knew when it would stop as well. At the moment it feels like the only thing that would knock it on the head is being pregnant again.

Hello ladies hope you have all had reasonable weekends.

Remember to be kind to yourself and aware when/If you get pmt. It was the last thing on my mind and I thought I was going backwards. Once I had my eureka moment it wasn't so bad. Same but diff from normal pmt.

Re diy - take it while you can but don't do too much. Look after dd and arrange something good for tea.

(funny?) tale- we went for a carvery one week after mm. Waiting staff placed baby in high chair too close n I nearly tripped over leg when I got up. Whilst in Q "might have to swap places away from little brat" to bf. Anyway caused great offence to mother directly behind us. Couldn't expain sentiments behind comments - first outing out - fail

Things can be up and down - don't expect too much. It is a devastating and massive thing to get round.

hi, had a very quiet w/e, managed to convince DH that DIY was not a good idea. I needed to do nothing, didn't leave the flat!

I would love to get pregnant again, but the thought of putting myself through this again is not appealing, I don't think I'm emotionally ready. But physically the clock is ticking and I'm running out of time, so I don't really want to wait.

Shakemyhead, I feel for you at that carvery, I'm avoiding dealing with other people at the moment, after going out for lunch last week. Due to go back to work next Monday, but not feeling like this, hopefully I'll be feeling a lot better in a week's time.

This miscarriage is bringing up lots of memories of the last one I had years ago - I didn't tell anyone that I had a miscarriage or that I was pregnant, I was in denial. I was depressed after that, even though I wouldn't have wanted /been able to take care of the baby, I think hormones play a part in feeling so low.

Anyway, hoping we all have better weeks this week x