Feeling very sad

[newmum75]

I miscarried a few days ago ago after my 12 week scanned showed no heartbeat. It was a terrible shock. I thought I was coping okay but I feel very sad and tearful. My partner has been with me all week but today is the first day on my own. It is much harder than I expected. Can anyone give me some advice on what I can do to make myself feel better?

Hello,

Didn't want your post to go unanswered. Im sorry for your loss. I went through something similar and I remember it well. If you have some close friends or relatives near by, try to get out and distract yourself, maybe some retail therapy or a movie. If you are not up for this, or unable to meet up with anyone, wrap up warm and get out for a walk.

I found sitting indoors pulled me down and I just needed to get out. If you dont fancy going out, how about a relaxing bath?

I found keeping busy allowed me to get a sense of normailty back, and although the greiving will continue for some time yet, I always found it easier to let go when my DH was around. But this is just how I coped, everyone is different.

My thoughts are with you xx

I found that talking about it helped me. I probably drove those close to me nuts but it was the only way I could come to terms with it myself. So I suggest that if you have no one with you at the mo it might help talking to us. There are so many women on here that have gone through the same and we all know how hard it is

i'm so sorry. its a horrible horrible shock to find out at your 12 week scan

the only thing i would say is just cry when you need to and let it all out, let yourself have time and don't feel like you need to bottle anything up. and as Natz says, when you feel ready try and do something to distract you a bit, if you don't feel ready to go out then watch some trashy tv or read some magazines,

you have had a big shock and will probably be in some state of shock for a while so just take things as easy as you can- housework and cooking can wait just order a takeaway if you feel like eating and look after yourself xx

So sorry for your loss. The best piece of advice I had when I went through something similar was not to expect to feel 'better' too quickly. The very kind consultant who talked to me and DH after the scan said I should take two weeks off work as I might think I was was stronger than I was and would feel worse if I went back and couldn't cope. I'm not phrasing it very well, as that makes her sound a bit patronising, but she was quite right - in the end I was off for a week and a half, with Easter in the middle, but it was absolutely right for me. I stayed in, mostly, ate cake, watched movies, hung out with my mum and the cat, read magazines. I felt like being safe at home, but for some people keeping busy out of the house it best. If you're physically feeling OK, you can at least try both options and see what works best for you.

Remember that in the next weeks and even months, some days will be fine and you'll feel that you are coping really well, and then something will set you off and you'll feel distraught again. I don't know if this is your first, but another thing that is really hard is feeling that your body has let you down, so maybe when you're feeling ready something like acupuncture can be a real help for supporting you through a subsequent pregnancy. Sorry if this is jumping the gun a bit, but I know that for a lot of people (including me) this is big concern.

Sorry, bit of a long post, but I wish you a good recovery and hope that you feel a little better soon. x

Hello there, sorry you're feeling down.
I've been through the same and it's a bag of shite. I found the end of the first week the hardest to deal with, perhaps because of the looming real life? Not sure. But it's never felt as bad since, hope this is a consolation.
I found staying in, eating and watching copious amounts of American drama box sets / online really helped me out!
Not greys anatomy though, too many flipping baby dramas.

Ps I found mumsnet really helpful too. Not just posting and letting it all out, and not just the great replies from empathetic people, some of which had suffered in the same way, but also to read about what others are going through and maybe help them out a bit too. It's great to pass that on, feels like something vaguely good can come out of what is generally a crap situation!

im so confused at the minute im told last night that im experiencing a miscarriage but ive had no pain,no cramps or anything no heavy bleeding, my hcg levels are dropping from 254-152-87 so i dont think i have any hope at all, im due a scan on tuesday but i think they are just gonna confirm its a miscarriage

I am so sorry for what you are going through - it really is a difficult time but things do get better with time and whilst things still get me 6 months on such as my due date (yesterday), I am happy again and moving on with my life.

After taking some time off work and not spending time with many people I found that actually getting back to work and out with people who didn't know what had happened really helped. By almost pretending everything was normal I could almost feel normal. I could only do this for a little bit as it was exhausting but it did really help but it was a long road to recovery. Also, after a while everyone thought I was 'over it' but I wasn't. Talking also really helped and I think my DH took longer to get over it because he didn't really talk to anyone about it.

I had a very wierd missed miscarriage that could be similar to what you are going through. In between the 1st scan where there was no heartbeat when I thought I was almost 10 weeks (not 5/6 as the scan showed) and the second scan, I had a tiny bit of spotting and that was all. When I went back the sac had almost gone and I was in shock and I was told that (TMI coming up) that my body had probably re-absorbed it. My HCG went to negative with very little blood or pain although I had a tiny bit left that had to be removed by operation even though I had a negative pg test.

Hoping you have a speedy recovery.x