Hi leopard, you may remember me from your other thread. I'm so sorry you've had the worst confirmed. As I said, the same thing happened to me in January of this year. We also seemed to be surrounded by bad news at the time. I am happy to tell you about my experience - I know what a lonely, scarey and confusing time it is. Please PM me if you want to chat off board at any time.
I had some brown bleeding at 6 weeks in Jan and a scan found what they thought was a collapsing sac. I opted for an ERPC. That was bad but I was just starting to look forward again and desperate to TTC when 3 weeks later I was told I'd had a complete molar. My feelings over the next few weeks were all over the place. First of all it's very scarey waiting to find out where your levels are - most people do not need chemo, please remember that - but also, I know what it's like to feel like you have already been on the bad end of a very big, rare statistic, so it's hard to take comfort in 80%. Have you had a negative pregnancy test or a period yet? If so, that is a good sign. If not, still no need to worry.
My first result came back at 6 (anything less than 5 is considered normal) so that was a big relief and my results after that went below 5 and stayed there. So I knew that the risk of invasive molar was practically non-existent. But I was very low for a long time. Some days I would feel upset. Some days I would feel angry - angry that it had happened to me, angry that other people were falling pregnant, angry that after an initial burst of sympathy, people very quickly forgot that it had happened to me. Some days I would just feel miserable. I got a bit obsessed with Googling it on the Internet. Sometimes I felt like a failure and for a while I hid away, especially from friends who had never had mcs or similar problems. I found that because I couldn't ttc, I couldn't move on.
After a few weeks, I went a bit loopy for a month! I suddenly felt more positive and I signed up for a 10k and started running and decided that DP, DS and I should all go to China for three weeks! I also decided to change career. I was desperate to fill the six months with something more positive. I'm glad I did all those things. But the negative feelings did come back again and poor DP had to put up with a lot of mood swings and ranting and raving.
Things are looking better for me now. I fell pg just before the end of my follow up although we weren't trying. That was nerve-wracking but all seems to be going okay and I have my 20 week scan tomorrow, fingers crossed all is okay. After the birth I will be tested again to make sure my levels return to normal and that would happen if I ever miscarried or had a baby again. Other than that, I am treated like a normal pg person though.
My advice to you (should you want it!) is to go on the forum on molarpregnancy.co.uk. There are lots of women on there who have been through or are going through the same thing. No question is too sensitive or stupid. For me, it was a very lonely experience and so having somewhere to go where other people knew what I was going through was a godsend. I also went to a patient's day at Charing X, where I was registered and got the chance to talk to the consultants and specialists, as well as other out-patients (I don't know if Dundee does similar) Other than that, I think I said on the other thread that the stories you will read on the internet all seem to be about chemo/recurring moles! This is not backed up by the statistics - the chances are in your favour. Have they sent you a testing kit yet?
This will sound like a bunch of crap but the six months does go very quickly. You will find your own way of dealing with it but don't be shy of seeking out any support you might need (I had some counselling which helped a bit as it took the pressure off me constantly wittering on at DP).
If you ever need to talk, rant, rave, wail etc., feel free to come and find me. I'll put a watch on this thread just in case. x