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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

ERPC tomorrow but nature's taking it's course now

26 replies

Quenelle · 27/10/2011 09:32

I found out at my NT scan on Monday that I'd had an mmc at 8 weeks. I'm scheduled for an ERPC tomorrow but have been bleeding heavily and passing lots of clots since late last night. Can anyone advise if/when I should worry about the blood loss? I've soaked about 10 night time towels since midnight. Not suffering bad cramps, it's just like normal period pain. Is this normal? Any idea when I can expect it to let up? And should I contact the hospital or just turn up for the ERPC as arranged?

Thanks.

OP posts:
skinnymuffin · 28/10/2011 07:59

Oh Quenelle I'm so sorry :( Were you on the May thread, your name sounds familiar? I think a pad an hour is heavy but considered normal. I bled and passed clots the day before my erpc but they still went ahead with the procedure.

If you think you've passed the sac I would contact the epu and ask for a scan instead to check.

I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier, I hope you are ok.

x Skinny

jetzombie · 28/10/2011 08:09

so sorry to hear of your loss, I have had both mmc + erpc and natural mc, there is a lot of blood and clots unfortunately. I would contact the hospital and see what they recommend. Take care of yourself.

Original poster
Quenelle · 28/10/2011 16:13

Thank you both. I was on the May thread.

I went in yesterday and had a scan. Most had gone so I was sent up to the ward for an injection to contract the womb. They tucked me up in bed with a cup of tea and let me go home after a few hours when the bleeding had reduced. Feeling weak and washed out today but glad it's all over and no erpc was required.

I'm sorry you have both gone through this kind of thing. Sucks doesn't it?

OP posts:
skinnymuffin · 28/10/2011 19:19

It does suck, yes. I'm here if you want to let off steam xx

Original poster
Quenelle · 28/10/2011 19:46

Thanks. I hope you're getting over it ok too x

OP posts:
lindorchocs · 29/10/2011 09:33

Hello Quenelle,
I too was on the May thread. Sorry to hear about everything you are going through.
I started to miscarry too on Thursday and was a little unprepared about how weak it would make me feel. Can only just walk a little today without feeling i am going to keel over.
MN has been my lifeline to find people who are going through a similar experience.
I am continuing to have HCG blood tests to totally outrule the possible ectopic pregnancy scare and having a scan in about 10 days to check everything is back to normal.
Glad you are at home and didnt have to have the erpc. Take care x

Original poster
Quenelle · 29/10/2011 20:26

Hi Lindor. It sounds like you've been through so much. I hope it's all over soon - and not ectopic - and you can start to get back to normal. I still feel quite weak but much better today. Look after yourself and good luck for the future.

OP posts:
jetzombie · 29/10/2011 22:43

Glad they were kind to you at the hospital Q but yes it sucks like nothing else Sad Hope you will be able to rest and take your own time to grieve in your own way. x

Original poster
Quenelle · 30/10/2011 08:29

Thanks jetzombie. I really appreciate all your kind posts.

OP posts:
Dorris83 · 04/11/2011 12:12

Quenelle Skinny and Lindor I was also on the May thread. We found out that our baby had no heartbeat at the dating scan on Tuesday. I had an ERPC on Wednesday. I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say hello, and that I am so sad about our losses.

Original poster
Quenelle · 04/11/2011 13:45

Oh I'm so sorry Dorris83. I know what a shock it would have been for you. I hope you are (physically) getting over the erpc and that you and your DP are looking after each other. DH and I shed some tears together on a couple of occasions last week.

I found that the sadness has really hit me this week. I was on annual leave last week and returning to 'normal' life on Tuesday was hard.

Wish you all the best for the future Dorris83.

OP posts:
Dorris83 · 04/11/2011 16:04

Hi quenelle thank you for replying. It has been a huge shock. I'm back at work on m

Dorris83 · 04/11/2011 16:09

Im back at work on mOnday, I have no idea how that's going to go. Dh is being a rock, just holds onto me when I cry.
I'm worrying as work people just know I'm 'unwell' this week but nothing more. When they ask if I'm feeling better on Monday, what do I say? It feels disloyal and wrong to just merrily say 'yes fine thanks!' when it won't be true. The truth is that my heart is breaking and I dont know what to do about it.
What did you do?

skinnymuffin · 04/11/2011 19:25

Hello Doris, I'm sorry for your loss :(

I called work ahead of my return and asked my boss to tell a couple of people I trusted to know and that helped enormously. I've been back for three weeks now and it does get easier but when I have a moment it is great to have someone to go and talk to. I've found lots of people have shared their own stories with me since too.

On a practical note, they have been able to warn me about things too, like another colleague anouncing their pregnancy last week, complete with scan photos etc, ahead of time, which helped me paint a smile on because I knew it was coming...

It does get easier, I have up and down days now, and work is a good distraction from unwelcome thoughts at times too.

Sending my best to everyone on this thread, this is such a sad place to be, but it would be 100x worse to be here alone

x Skinny

lindorchocs · 05/11/2011 08:12

Hi everyone
I was off work last week and only told my boss. I did say I wanted to keep it quiet, although she has told everyone. I kind of suspected when I received 'Thinking of you' cards from random people!
In a way I am glad that everyone knows because I don't have to pretend to be all jolly and maybe they will leave me alone!
Good luck going back x

Original poster
Quenelle · 06/11/2011 06:43

I didn't tell anyone at work. We were very busy last week and I had a few problems to sort out so I just got my head down.

Good luck for tomorrow Dorris83. It wouldn't be disloyal to put on a happy face. You and your DP know how you feel that's all that matters.

OP posts:
squidink · 06/11/2011 09:17

Hi ladies, so sorry for the situation everyone is going through.

I was on the may thread too and got bad news yesterday. I'd had bleeding that got heavier so went to hospital,they did a scan and found no heartbeat. It looks like baby didn't make it past 8 weeks.

It was a huge shock and after lots of tears yesterday I now feel completely numb. Dh has been amazing, our first pregnancy and it's hard to believe this has happened.

Last night I had some mild cramping and back pain and passed a lot of blood and some clots. Just been looking up my options and trying to decide whether to go to hospital yet. Thought I'd go back to work on Tuesday to take my mind off things but not sure that will be physically or emotionally possible.

So sorry to hear others are in this situation but it does help to share. Mumsnet has been brilliant at every stage even now.

Dorris83 · 06/11/2011 10:29

squidink I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I'll echo what advice other mners have given me, be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve. If Tuesday feels too soon, don't force it, just turn around and go home.

I agree, i have found MN incredibly comforting, i have surprised myself yesterday, that I'm already thinking about when we can try again. I think it is because I've read some very reassuring stories on MN.

quenelle, lindor, and skinny thank you so much for your advice. I have told a couple of people who I trust, so hopefully they'll look out for me on Monday.

Il let you know how it goes x

skinnymuffin · 06/11/2011 11:04

So sorry squidink that is heartbreaking :( Be very kind to yourself and bear in mind you might feel quite weak for a few days too. I took a week off work and don't regret it. You come first.

Good luck tomorrow Dorris I hope it goes well x

Original poster
Quenelle · 06/11/2011 18:36

I'm sorry squidink. What a shock for you. Did the hospital advise you what to do?

OP posts:
squidink · 07/11/2011 09:38

The hospital didn't really give any advice, they just said to come back if the bleeding gets heavier. I went back in yesterday evening as I'd passed a lot naturally. They did a scan and confirmed pretty much everything has passed. I have to go back in 10 days to check everything's ok. I was a bit traumatic but in a way I'm glad I was at home for the mc and it was fairly quick.

Doris, hope your first day back at work goes ok. I'm thinking of going back on Wednesday. I'm in the same situation, I only told my manager about the pregnancy and miscarriage so colleagues will be asking me if I'm feeling better which will be weird.

It's very soon but I'm also thinking about when we can start trying again. Anyone have any advice on that?

Original poster
Quenelle · 08/11/2011 11:24

Squidink the consultant advised me to wait until I'd had a period before trying again - about 6 weeks she reckoned.

But I have heard and read that there's no reason why you shouldn't start straight away. It just makes it easier to date a pregnancy if you know the date of your last period.

I hope it hasn't been too bad for you and Dorris83 being back at work.

OP posts:
Dorris83 · 08/11/2011 22:14

Hi ladies, thank you for your advice. Being back at work this week has been ok, I'm still a little teary at times but I told a few people and they've been really supportive.

Squidink good luck for tomorrow, I have some advice that I can share, that you might find helpful: when people ask if you're feeling better or what was wrong, a bland 'yes lots of people have been poorly lately haven't they?' seems to satisfy people and they don't really ask anymore.
The other thing is that people who have children, or are in that 'zone' seem to understand a little more than people who don't even have children in their consideration set yet... If you do confide in one or two people I would recommend you choose someone who is more likely to give you an understanding and sympathetic response. A younger and well meaning friend told me yesterday to 'keep my chin up' ... Which is ok but but not really what i needed to hear, whereas my boss was incredibly sympathetic and understanding and asked how I was feeling and confided that he and his wife had a mc and now they have three healthy children.
I definitely agree with sknny about tellng people so they can cushion you from things that might shake you, a colleague announced his wife is pregnant today, due in may, and everyone was exclaiming loudly about how great it is and how it seems that 'everyone is having babies ' and I just sat there and didn't know what to do with myself. I wish someone could have warned me as i started to cry and had to run off ...

But overall I'm ok, and work is a positive distraction right now.

Take care, will you let us know how you get on if you do go in tomorrow?

How is everyone else feeling / doing this week?

skinnymuffin · 08/11/2011 22:45

Hey Dorris :)

Well done, you sound like you are coping well with work. I know exactly what you mean about choosing who you confide in carefully. I have deliberately avoided anyone I think most likely to say something glib, or the dreaded 'it probably happened for a reason'. They mean well and certainly do not deserve me getting all shouty on them, which I feel certain I would. That and 'it's nature's way you know...' Grrrrrrrr!!!

I'm not sure why the law of mc is that someone else must announce their pregnancy within days of your own loss, that happened to me too. I'm so sorry it made you cry. How unfair.

Anyway, tomorrow's Wednesday - practically the weekend eh?!

x

stopgoogling · 09/11/2011 18:15

Hi
I just went back to work today after an ectopic pregnancy. Most people seemed to know why I was off ( they were told it was a miscarriage) and just said 'Glad to see you back' which was a kind of way of acknowledging that they knew without all the sympathetic sorry kind of looks that I was dreading.

Sorry that so many of you have had to find out about someone at work being pregnant so soon after. It's just so crap.