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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Clinics

68 replies

hana · 26/10/2003 17:28

Wondering if anyone has had experience of such a clinic? Have just had another m/c. Lots of questions. Have only hd 2 m/cs, my third loss was a termination as the fetus wasn't 'developing' , had too much fluid around heart and back etc etc
Am asking GP to refer us to the clinic (at St Mary's? in London) Do your m/cs have to be in a row? Will they take a self-referral? Can you go privately? Is there a long waiting list? I have ordered Lesley's Regan book as well after seeing a few reviews here. Looking forward to reading it.
Oh, I really want some answers about what is happening to me. Us I mean.
hana
x

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bunny2 · 08/11/2003 21:15

Oh Hana I am sorry. But Quacks is right, there are lots of initial tests that can be done locally. My gp was reluctant to refer me to St MArys as so many of the tests are just simple blood tests not necessitating a trip to London. Perhaps if your local doctor/hospital cannot draw any conclusions from the tests they could try re-referring you?

How are you feeling? I have had a couple of really low days, had a go at dh, cried a bit, drank too much last night etc. Then today bumped into an acquaintance who beamed at me with "I hear you are pregnant" so in the middle of Londis I hastily explained that I wasnt. Cant beleive it all happened a month back. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

hewlettsdaughter · 08/11/2003 22:08

Oh bunny, that must have been hard for you, having your acquaintance say that to you
hana, sorry you didn't get the referral you wanted - hope your GP is helpful on Monday.

Original poster
hana · 09/11/2003 13:21

Thanks for your messages......yes, I haven't had 3 in a row - my first m/c was a year before our dd was born, then we had her, and then lost one in June and again in October of this year. So I suppose I don't meet their requirements. Travelling to London wouldn't have been a problem as we live in West London, but I'll just have the tests here first.
I've been really really cranky the past few days -found out another friend is expecting in May - so pleased for her as she only has one f tube and a cyst on the one that's left, so it's a miracle baby for them, but I'm still sad that it isn't me.
and when I went back to work last week everyone seemed to know about the m/c and I had only told 2 people, I mean it was nice to hear messages of support etc etc but a bit upset that the two I told in the first place had told others. so that's me. an ugly day today, too much rain and not enough sunshine!
hana

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eyelash · 09/11/2003 17:41

Hana

So sorry to hear of your problems. I hope you are looking after yourself and that your appointment goes well tomorrow. Have you read the book yet? I have just finished reading the miscarriage book and found it very helpful. Although no consolation now, what I found reasurring is if you already have a child, you are very likely to go on and have another. Your doctor may also be able to reassure you that your local hospital could provide at least some of the support you need.

I had a miscarriage between ds1 and ds2 (about 8 weeks), and then had two at 5 weeks in June and September. As I live up north St Mary's wouldn't have been feasible but I have had my referral to the local maternity hospital accepted. They are supposed to be good so hoping for some answers. I thing the fact I nearly lost ds2 was in my favour as my doctor strongly suspects I have some type of hormonal imbalance but we'll see. She has already taken about 10 different samples so fingers crossed.

CONNEELY · 09/11/2003 18:08

I feel for each and everyone of you,i have a friend who has had 3 m/cs this year,i dont know all the in and outs but would really like some advice of how to be there for her xxx

bunny2 · 09/11/2003 21:23

Connelly, the only suggestion I can make is to regularly and gently ask how your frined is. Just because she may appear to be coping, it doesnt mean she is. My mc was 4 wks ago and after all the initial fuss most people including my mother, no longer ask how I am. I think they see me apparently coping and are glad to move on to less awkward topics of conversation. I want people to keep asking how I am because when they dont it is like my baby has already been forgotten by them. Hope that makes sense.

Hana, it has been a gloomy day hasnt it? I have steered away from alcohol since Friday as it was adding to my depressed state. I do feel a bit better today. xx

Original poster
hana · 09/11/2003 23:59

Conneely - ask her partner how he is doing. No one has ever asked how my husband was doing each and every time - he's normally a very strong man but in June got quite upset when everyone's attention went right to me and this time didn't expect anything (and hasn't had anything) I guess people just think about the women but it has also happened to the father.
Like Bunny - keep asking, time doesn't really heal. Remember the dates as anniversaries are hard particularly if she has had 3. Contact the Miscarriage Association and maybe they have some more advice for you as well. Make a date for just the two of you. I feel for your friend, but she has a great friend in you just by you posting your question.
hana

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Original poster
hana · 10/11/2003 00:03

No I meant to say as her partner how he is doing directly oops

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Original poster
hana · 10/11/2003 00:03

ASK I meant to say ask!!! too late, need to go to bed.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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quackers · 10/11/2003 09:29

Agree with everything here. All too quickly people want to forget esp if you seem to be coping. My Mum too assumes all is well. The MA do have a factsheet for friends and family which is very useful and can be downloaded. Good luck.

gingernut · 11/11/2003 23:03

hana - how did your appointment go yesterday? Hope your GP was helpful.

Original poster
hana · 12/11/2003 14:47

Gingernut - I only had a chance to speak to my GP on the phone and she explained that the referral wasn't accepted for the reasons I thought - that I hadn't had 3 m/c in a row although I have had three now. She has referred me instead to our local hospital........but also said it would likely be January before an appt came through. I've checked with dh's private policy and they classify my first m/c as a 'pre-existing condition' and therefore won't accept any claims to go privately. Am going to try and fight this its crazy that once you've had one m/c in the eyes of the private health insurers you have a 'condition'. So not happy about that. I wouldn't normally go down the private route ( one of his perks at work) but I'm so impatient and January seems such a long way away. So it's waiting again. I have finally stopped bleeding which is a good thing. The two of us are away this weekend without our dd - really looking forward to some grown-up time!!
hana
x

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quackers · 12/11/2003 16:09

Good luck Hana, do whatever you can do. I hope you get something a little sooner, but January isn't too far away if it comes to that. Wishing you lots of luck and hope you can have a bit of 'relaxing'!! LOLxxx

Original poster
hana · 24/11/2003 15:58

Managed to chanbe my Jan appt for one in Dec, so pleased about that. Just making a list of questions and concerns I have for the consultant. Am still so very very sad - was reading thru old posts ( how sad is that?) and read where I had said (in July when I lost baby at 13 weeks) that 'hubby is convinced that I will be pregnant again before Christmas'...........if only I was. Suppose there is a very slim chance, but doubt it. A friend told me earlier today that I was naughty for not waiting a cycle before ttc. She is 20 weeks preg herself and has never m/c - a different 40 weeks she lives in than any I will ever have once I'm pregnant.

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quackers · 24/11/2003 16:16

Hana, how are you? Glad you got an earlier appointment. There's only one way from here you know! Upwards. Take care xxxx

bunny2 · 25/11/2003 11:06

Hi Hana, I have my appointment on Thursday and I am really nervous, I suppose if I get the tests I want, then I have to face up to the horrid possibility that I am a no-hoper. Re reading old posts, I often read them, the worst one is when I announced I was pg, reading it makes me so sad because I remember typing my news with tears of happiness rolling down my face.

eyelash · 25/11/2003 16:52

Hana

I too have an appointment at my local recurrant miscarriage clinin in December. To speed up the process my doctor has already taken all the blood samples so they have the results at the first clinic. She seemed to think it speeded up the whole process - which makes sense.

Unless they have already done so, do you think your doctor could do the same?

Original poster
hana · 25/11/2003 17:27

eyelash, never thought of that. My doctor hasn't mentioned anything like that - so will call tmrw and also the consultant and ask about blood work being done now. Thank you for suggesting that!
Bunny , hope your appt goes really well tomorrow, it's the first step towards some answers which I know you desperately want right now. This is a bit selfish, but can you let me know what it was like? Will be thinking of you,
hana

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quackers · 25/11/2003 21:08

Thinking of all of you going to specialist clinics at the moment. It's good to have the bloods done if you can. I had them done and that cycle all was fine, so I don't think my probs have been hormonal, thyroid, liver function etc.. as all was ok. You'll get them at some point though along the process. Lots of love. pls keep us posted on results and what has gone on.
xxx

Original poster
hana · 02/12/2003 16:18

just requested blood tests from the GP for my appt in December - I thought it was a matter of just showing up and offering my arm, but it's tied into cycle days (8th day and 1 week before period starts) I can't work out those dates as I havent had a period since m/c in October! grrrrrr. So don't know what I can do now, was hoping to have all that info for the consultant to speed things up once I get there, but not now. Oh well. Have decided to start the charting business and see if that gives us any information. Think my luteal phase is a very short one (usually a 18 - 21 day cycle start to finish) and maybe that's causing implantation problems?????? Off to look at some of those websites people have posted for more information. Good luck for your apt this week bunny, let us know how you get on please!
hana

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Original poster
hana · 12/02/2004 22:43

thought I'd flag this one up again - dind't want to get ttc thread all depressed and negative again...
but am so so so disgusted with what happened or didn't happen at my appt with GP today - long story short - the the lab say they never rec'd the blood. Grrrrr!! So I have to go to Hammersmith Hospital tmrw and have it done there so they can't say they didn't get it. I was so hoping to kind of clear things up and tie all the loose ends together. Still left feeling like I'm in limbo - not sure where to go from here. I am going to start taking low dose aspirin - GP said until I get the results back within a couple of weeks it wouldn't do any harm - and if I DO get pregnant she is going to push for me to be seen at the RMC at St Mary's.
Good news on our chromosomal analysis though - they came back normal.
It's just dragging on for such a long time someties I think it's part of the problem of not being about to move on or at leave moving on more than I have.
Moan over, off to bed. At least I won't be at work tomorrow and might be able to sneak in a spot of retail therapy as dd will still go to nursery all day!
hana

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bunny2 · 12/02/2004 22:51

Hana, this is so bloody bad. What is wrong with these people? I know just how you feel, so much hope is invested into these appointments, mine became my life. Then to be told they have screwed up, well, it is just not good enough. I am angry for you. It sounds like your gp is a good one, to refer you to St Marys. It is what you deserve, I hope you get it.

I am taking aspirin (baby dose), I dont think such a low dose can do much harm and you never know, it might do some good.

Keep well. Bunnyxx

Quackers · 13/02/2004 09:13

Hana, this just isn't good enough is it. I have every sympathy for you having to put up with this half hearted way of doing things. Taking the baby aspirin is good and I'm really pleased your tests came back fine with chromosomes. Your chances are really good as we've said before and I hope they look after you a bit better. Good luck with this set of tests and I hope they get them!xxxx hugs{{{}}}}

eyelash · 13/02/2004 13:18

hana - it must be so disheartening that this is happening to you. It just isn't fair. I hope the bloods went well today - and have you also had your smear test? Do you have any idea when the results will be back?

There is hope though and as Lesley Regan said in her book, most people even after numerous miscarriages will go on to have a healthy baby - but it's the stress of ttc and then the pregnancies that is the hard bit! I will be thinking of you all.

Bunny2 - I can't see how you couldn't have ovulated after the temperatures and the opks - very strange and hope the blood test resolves the issue.

Original poster
hana · 13/02/2004 13:24

thanks guys - didn't have to wait too long which surprised me - but still didn't go to work this afternoon. Shhhhhh.....

Now it's a 7 - 10 day wait but I'll be away for nearly 3 weeks so I'll wait until I'm back. I think I am pretty sure that they aren't going to turn up anything, but you always have that nagging doubt, don't you? Really pleased that our chromosomes whatsit was fine.
Eyelash - my smear is this afternoon and that will also reassure me that I'm healthy. I'll be back in action after that, not sure if I've ov'ed yet this cycle so I'll just assume I haven't yet lucky dh! lucky me too!

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