Medical management of miscarriage - failure to work

[zebedeethezebra]

Hi its me again!

Last Thursday I had the medical management of miscarriage but it didn't work, despite 2 lots of the relevant drugs, all I did was have a lot of pain and pass a lot of clots all day. I was in the hospital for 12 hours before they sent me home. So I never passed the relevant pregnancy tissue.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? What happened next in your case?

Now I'm in some sort of limbo period. I have to wait a week to be seen again. If it wasn't for going on holiday in 2 weeks, they would have left me for 2 weeks. So then I will have a pregnancy test and another scan. I think they are hoping that I will complete the miscarriage before then, however I'm only getting quite light bleeding now.

Its rubbish, why couldn't they just have put me on a list for a ERPC the next day instead of leaving me like this? I don't feel able to go to work emotionally, or even work from home (because I probably won't do anything). I can't draw a line under it. Its bad enough being told your embryos have died without being able to have your body remove them.

I'm finding it really hard to deal with, crying a lot. I don't know what to tell work. My boss is male and will probably just think why is she having so much time off for a miscarriage. And I haven't even had the bloody miscarriage yet! How do I explain that?

Any experiences - please share them with me.

Hi, I didn't want to read and run.
I had a MMC spotted on the 4th July and had to wait a week for a re scan and it was one of the longest week's ever. I can totally understand how shitty you must be feeling. It sounds, but please bear in mind I am not a doctor, that the drugs didn't work and I suspect they will eventually book you in for an ERPC if you haven't miscarried on your own by then, which perhaps they are hoping will happen. When I was in your shoes I wanted an ERPC and had an uphill struggle trying to convince them (they wanted me to go down the medical managment route) but, ten days after the miscarriage was first spotted, I miscarried 'naturally'.

I am not sure what to suggest other than to call the EPU or relevant department and insist on being seen sooner or at least have someone explain what is going on and why.

xx

Thanks babysaurus

I had an incomplete miscarraige in April. I opted for medical management, but it didn't work at all - all that happened was that i had a few cramps, but that was it. I ended up having an ERPC a few days later.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Thanks deemented. I think I might call them tomorrow to try to bring the appointment forward.

How will I know if the miscarriage happens naturally in the meantime? I'm not even bleeding very much at the moment. Does it all kick off again?

I had it all kick off in a dramatic fashion the following Wednesday (I first had the scan on the previous Monday, had a rescan the following Tues and then I miscarried on the Wednesday. I will stop there in case I give TMI / freak you out but let me know if you want me to tell you more detail.
Personally, I'd push for an ERPC. The whole situation is so horrible but, this was my thinking anyway, an ERPC is quick and effective. I wanted it over so I could move on.

Yes, please let me know. I'm not squeamish and would like to know what I'm in for.

Okay... (takes glug of wine!)
As I said, I was booked in for an ERPC on the Friday morning but on the Wednesday evening, about half five, when I was at my mums I started to have nasty cramps. Like very bad period pains, but then with waves of pain over the top which came in, well, waves. I realised that this was a kind of contraction thing going on. It was manageable but I did gasp a bit, and it did take my breath away at times. I think the worse thing was that I realised what it was and also thought that it could possibly last for quite some time - obviously this is not the kind of activity one wants to make an evening out of so this wasn't great. I was also having what seemed like a very heavy period, and small clots came out.
The nasty contraction waves went on for at least an hour but the bleeding got a lot heavier, it was like a dripping tap. I then also started to pass small clots and the bleeding got heavier still. It was at this point I called my mum. She's not easily freaked out but she took one look in the loo (I had been in the bathroom all the time) and called 999.
Once the paramedics came and I was helped into the ambulance I started to hemorrage (not sure if that's spelt right!) and it seemed to be coming out of me in spurts. Once admitted to A&E this continued, (I had gas and air to help with the pain which was great, but a bit weird - kind of makes you feel off your head rather than pain free). My mum said they changed the sheets eight times in an hour - massive clots came out too - and they had a rummage in them, which I now know to be seeing if 'everything came out.' Apparently the placenta etc carried on developing, everything except the baby in fact, which is why it was so much. The gynea doc who was on call kept having to have a rummage 'up there' for more clots and to check the bleeding as apparently clots can hold things open and make the bleeding unneccessarily worse, and if this was the case and she could' get the clots out (with the strange tong like things she had) I would have had to been admitted to theatre to have an emergency D&C.
Eventually, after they got a drip in to replace fluids and had to see how things went in case I needed a transfusion, I was admitted to the gyne ward and the bleeding started to slow considerably.
The staff were absolutely brilliant, they made a horrid situation a lot easier to bear, and it apparently happens quite a lot. Previously I thought that a miscarriage was basically like heavy period, and the light to moderate bleeding and spotting I had before things kicked off proper seemed as if it would have been everything - I now realise I was rather naive!

I have since discovered that my experience isn't in no way unusual but also, please don't think that this might also happen with you - its a cliche, but everyone is different!

How are you feeling now? Do you have a plan of action?

Ooooer! Thanks babysaurs, at least I know what to expect. Thanks for letting me know, it must be awful having to go through it all again to write it down for me.

I will call the EPU tomorrow, see if they can get me in sooner and ask for an ERPC. I just want this all over and done with now. I don't want to wait indefinitely for the natural miscarriage, since this can take weeks I understand. I can't move on until its all done.

I was just the same. As the outcome was a horrid one anyway I just wanted it over with as soon as possible. The week between the first and second scan was horrific too. I was in a horrible limbo land and it really made it worse.

Try and push for the ERPC if you can. Hopefully it'll be offered asap and then you can try and move on. It is still upsetting for me but I am now trying to look forwards instead of backwards. I think I was half expecting a mc in the first few weeks as I know they are so common etc etc but as I progressed and got to 12 weeks I thought things would be okay, esp as I still had full pregnancy symptoms.

Its horrible, but you'll be okay. Please vent on here if you want or need to.

Good luck tomorrow with the EPU too, keep me posted on how you got on xx

By the way, the last thing the lovely gyne doctor said to me as she went off shift in the morning was 'hopefully the next time I see you, I'll be helping deliver your beautiful baby.' This was so nice of her and I really hope its true, too!

Bugger! I've just filled up!