Hi Gizmo,
I am going through something similar at the moment, on Valentines day was the day i was due my first scan, we was so very excited, it would of been at the 13 weeks mark, but on friday the 10th I started to bleed lightly, i called the doctors and they told me to go to the epu, I didn't think the baby was going to be dead, i just thought we would get an earlier scan and they say its normal to get a bit of bleeding sometimes, How wrong was i, they started to scan me but didn't say anything, i looked at my hubby and they still didn't say anything, they said they would need to do an internal scan, so they did and they still didn't say anything and 2 nurses were looking at the screen, then at last they said something, they said that they were sorry and that they couldn't find a heart beat, then they said a doctor will speak to you, and everything else was a blur, i didn't think it would happen to me, none of my friends had any problems, they said that my baby was about the size of 6 weeks old and, the sac was the size of about 12 weeks. I opted for the medical way because i am so scared of a General, they made me take a pill there and then which i did but it made me feel terrible, i came back to the hospital 2 days later, and had the internal tablets that made me dilate, i went from no pain to excruciating pain within 10 mins, it was awful, they gave me a pethindene injection which seemed to make it worse, i went all dizzy and sick and my arms had pins and needles, i felt the need to keep going to the loo, and i was so hot i felt like i was going to pass out, so they gave me another injection for the sikness and 2 painkillers and after 10 mins i felt alot better, I thought i had a high pain threshold but after that i would defiantley have a epidural for actual birth, anyway there was a lot of blood and it actually felt like my waters broke and there was about 3 big clots, one was so big like a lump of liver, but the murses checked it and they said it was just blood clots, I had to go to the toilet in bed pans, which the nurses just left them sitting there for hours at a time, it was really bad, i decided to stay over night because i wanted to be in the hospital if anything happened, but nothing did, i was then told to come back in a week to see if it happens naturally and have a scan if it isn't clear i will have to have the scrape, I'm at home just waiting for the week to be up, my blood has got much less and i don't think its coming, i even had breast milk cover my nighty and the bed last night, which made me really sad. If anything it has made me want a baby more, but until this nightmare is over i can't think about the future, I know one thing i'm going to be scared as hell when i'm pregnant next time, i will think the worse defiantley until i give birth, can anyone give me some hope?