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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Its happened again :-(((

14 replies

salempickles · 18/08/2011 11:32

This is now the 4th mc i have had, feeling really extremely low, this time yesterday i was 6 weeks pregnant and today its all over. i started bleeding early this morning and after speaking to the doctor she advised me to take it easy today and go and see her tomorrow, god knows what fo, whats the point! i tried my best not to get my hopes up but i stupidly did! I have my best friend who is 12 weeks pg and saw her only last night, i hadnt told anyone about this one so now she has sent me a pic of her first scan which made me worse. I knew something was wrong as i always seem to get headaches as a warning when im pregnant so had 1 last night to the point i was dizzy and had to lie down.

i feel sooo crap that i let myself get a tiny bit excited, and now its all over for me again. i honestly dont think i can go on doing this all the time...

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farfallarocks · 18/08/2011 13:15

salem, I am so so sorry to hear this, it really is awful.
Have you started investigations now as to what might be causing your losses?
You poor thing.
Is anyone with you at the moment?

AitchTwoOh · 18/08/2011 13:17

oh salempickles, i am so, so sorry. you poor thing, it's so cruel.

milkyways · 18/08/2011 13:28

Oh salempickles :( I am so sorry for your loss. I know how devastating mc's can be, especially when you let yourself get excited by the pregnancy and plan that there will be a baby in your arms after 9 months.

Don't feel stupid for getting your hopes up. You did what any mother-to-be would do, and plan your life for a baby, but I understand how hurtful it can be when it's like your whole world just falls apart for the umpteenth time.

After my fourth mc, I felt like ripping out my insides and trying to fix them. I was so low and depressed. Nothing in my life was good anymore. Nothing mattered. I blamed myself for getting excited, just like you. I blamed myself for not being a "proper" woman. All these horrible emotions. I would just like you to know that although you will never forget the hurt and pain, things will get better one day at a time. It's like any grieving process - slowly you will heal.

Can I ask if you have had any tests done to find out the cause of the mc's after your third mc? I joined MN after my fourth mc in January and found the Recurrent Miscarriage thread in this section very helpful. There are other women out there who have also suffered mulitiple losses, and it's a brilliant place to discuss emotions and tests and treatment of recurrent miscarriages. It may be a comfort to you, that there are other women out there who have suffered in the same way you have, and experience the same feelings as you. With me, I found I was jealous of every pregnant woman I saw - I was ashamed of this, but found it was a common feeling amongst women who have had so many losses. I also started counselling sessions a few months ago to deal with all the losses and have found it really helpful.

I would also like you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel with the right treatment. There are quite a few women on the thread I mentioned above who have (after many losses) gone on to have healthy babies after treatment. I'm also currently pregnant again, after getting myself on a cocktail of vitamins, and aspirin - and have reached nearly 20 weeks.

I really hope you have got over the initial shock and are taking care of yourself. Do you have helpful friends or family that you could talk to about this? Once again, I am so sorry and I hope you are okay x x

ClaireDeLoon · 18/08/2011 13:30

Big hugs Salem, I'm so very sorry.

salempickles · 18/08/2011 14:13

Hi, thanks for the replies, i know it does get a bit easier with time its just when it happens i really do go so low which i think i need to do in order to pick myself back up again. my doctor hasnt suggest any tests at all actually she thinks its more important that i can get pregnant, which i find strange as i have no problem in getting all bits needed to meet, they just dont get on when they do meet.

Is it the norm then that tests are usually done after a certain amount of times, i have read the stats for having a mc and guess im just on the unlucky side, doesnt help knowing that though. I have a few close friends only 2 that i have confided to in the past, 1 is dealing with her own problems at the moment (new job, moving house etc) the other is 13 weeks pregnant and as lovely as she is i just cant be around her right now. My partner feels low at the moment too, what with his own job worries trying to get our house sorted to move in and now all this, all the stress has definitely not helped, i just need to know why this happens to me, i know thats the million dollar question but i desperatly want it to stop.its like groundhog day and i beat myself up each time i find out im pg, every hour feels like a week, just worrying what this cramping is, or why my boobs hurt, why theyre not hurting, i worry about everything, i start to get excited and search for a few things thinking this could be it,and then bang the cramping gets worse, i get a heavy headache and its all over. just really really sick of it.

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farfallarocks · 18/08/2011 14:18

salem, after 3 miscarriages you should absolutely investigate. Your doctor sounds extremely ill informed.
Where abouts do you live? Are you in the UK?

NoMoreWasabi · 18/08/2011 14:21

I'm sorry to hear your news, you must be devastated.

I understand you can normally get referred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic after 3 consecutive miscarriages. You may need to get pushy with your doctor.

Some info here

and here

salempickles · 18/08/2011 14:37

Hi yes im in the uk, i live in north west area, my doctors surgery seems very modern too, may doctors there so i would of expected them to have a clue about modern medicine, ive just made an appt to see my own doctor, tomorrow i will have to see a locum who is standing in.

milkyway do you mind me asking why you have to take aspirin, just wondered if it helps and if so how? thanks x

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ChristinedePizan · 18/08/2011 14:41

I'm so sorry for your loss :( Yes, you should definitely be referred to a recurrent miscarriage unit after 3 mcs and when you're feeling a bit stronger (or tomorrow when you're feeling up to it), speak to your GP about getting a referral

Aspirin helps reduce blood clotting which is a common cause of recurrent miscarriage but I'm not sure if it's safe to take it without a dx.

salempickles · 18/08/2011 14:53

Thanks for that, just reading through the info from before, its a lot to try and take in right now, and everything ive read i immediately feel i have that symptom so have something to blame, trying not to get into it too much though, its just a bit much to have to think of all this again.

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ClaireDeLoon · 18/08/2011 14:56

salem I think Liverpool Womens Hospital have a recurrent miscarriage clinic? I'm sure I have seen other posters mention it?

ClaireDeLoon · 18/08/2011 15:05
milkyways · 18/08/2011 15:30

salempickles You should have been tested for recurrent miscarriages after 3 consecutive miscarriages.

Alot of women who have miscarriages without any known cause are prescribed low dose aspirin (75mg) as something they can try to see if it may help. I was also diagnosed as very deficient in Vitamin D. Recent studies have shown that Vit D deficiency can also cause recurrent miscarriage. I know alot of women are also prescribed progesterone pessaries, as something to try too, as it can't do any harm.

You can also be investigated for something like NK Cells privately, if all the other avenues are exhausted through the NHS.

I really recommend popping into the recurrent miscarriage thread in this section; there is loads of helpful information there - women being treated for NK cells, or women on progesterone during pregnancy and other women who had abnormal shape of the uterus. There HAS to be a reason for your miscarriages. Hope that helps.

salempickles · 18/08/2011 21:15

Thanks clare, im actually not too far from the women's, but after reading that im quite shocked that my own doctor hasn't referred me, as its happened 4 times now.

all i was told to do after the second was have an up to date smear test and continue to take the folic acid tablets daily.... really appalled that i havent had the chance to investigate cos my own doctor seems too lazy to do something to help. Hopefully the doc i see tomorrow will have a new view on things and help get something done for me!

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