Diagnosed with a blighted ovum and not sure what to do next

[stelabelle]

Hi everyone

I'm new to the forum and found you because i was diagnosed with a blighted ovum at 10w5days. I went back for the final scan yesterday to be sure (11w5days) and now I need to decide what to do next.

The last week has been awful, we are broken, it's such a shock, I am 40 and it's my first and we conceived quickly actually so that was a shock and then we were overjoyed as you can imagine, you start to dream and plan and run away with yourself :) The in no time at all, everything is turned on it's head, it's taken away from you - I'd never heard of blighted ovum until this happened and now I am reading too much about it!

We are trying to take it a day at a time and be positive about the future, and also trying to come to terms with what has happened and mostly to understand - thank god for sites like this, medics are mostly hopeless - 'everyone is different' 'up to you' 'when you are ready' etc.

So now I am bleeding fairly heavily and cramping of and on - got up 3 times to change last night and had to get a hot water bottle at 4 am, they have sent me away with a leaflet and told me to call them today and let them know what I want to do. I know I don't want to go in for a ERPC, but although this seems to be happening naturally, I know it can go on like this for 2-3 weeks and i is so sad, part of me wants to 'medically manage' it - has anyone ever been through that? How long can I expect it to last? is the pain and bleeding manageable at home? will I bleed for days and days after?

I feel like we have been in a limbo for days and days now and every day feels like a week anyway... I would like for this to be over so that we can feel normal again,I know that will take time and I now we have a lot to understand in our minds but at the moment I don't want to look forward to anything, do anything,etc, it consumes you... so many feelings you have to try and come to terms with, and the biggest, is the utter feeling of loss.

Sorry this post goes on and on, hope someone will read and possibly have experience of medical management as opposed to waiting it out....

Thanks so much everyone.

Stelabelle x

So sorry stelabelle, I'd never heard of blighted ovum either until I had one, and I totally know what you mean about the total sense of shock and the floor coming from under you - I went for ERPC because my blighted ovum wasn't discovered until my routine 12 week scan at 12+2 and I felt like my body needed a bit of a helping hand, I did consider medical management but the midwife at my EPU was a bit dismisive about it and vague about when it could be done, and I just wanted it over and done with.

So I can't help much with medical management, but it does sound like things have already started naturally. In terms of how long it takes, I was told that all the options are the same in terms of you can bleed for up to 2 weeks afterwards - but some people are much quicker, and I was almost 3 weeks bleeding after my ERPC

I have heard that the pain with medical management can be quite extreme but again, some people have hardly any pain so it's very difficult to predict unfortunately.

Hope that you have good support in RL and are taking things very easy at the moment - take care xx

Hi Stella.
I had what they call medical management for blighted ovum. Its medication to bring on the loss.
I needed to be admitted to hospital for pain control as you basically labour and the pain is very very intense. I had morphine & gas&air. It was over in about 12 hours. I then bled for about 3 days after but still needed strong pain killers at home.
This time, last week,(i have unfortunately had lots) it happened naturally with no help.
I managed at home with solpidine, still had intense pain but could cope with it. Lots of bleeding, clots and heavy.
Previously though, i knew at 8 weeks and chose to let things happen naturally, i didnt miscarry till i was 13 weeks and this was very difficult.

So get yourself some decent pain killers and stick to the sofa unless you find the pain and bleeding too much, if so, go to your nearest hospital.

It IS awful. Its the hardest thing i have ever had to go through in my life. Its just ripped from you in an instant isnt it. Plus the fact that you "feel" so pregnant dont you, so when they tell you that you are in fact not going to progress, its very difficult to understand and compute.
Love to you, if you want to talk please come back x

Ah thanks so much wellieboots and mrsnesbit for your kind replies, it's been so hard to know what to do - I have gone this afternoon and taken the first tablet and then I go back Sunday aft to take the rest of them, they have given me all the pain relief already - the docs were lovely today actually - I am a bit scared of the idea of labour pain it has to be said, especially having never been through it, but the more I've thought about it today, the more I can't bear waiting for weeks and not knowing. Thank god for friends and family at times like this, my best friend has come to stay, so I will just take it easy over the next few days and see how it pans out.

Thanks again so much ladies, I shall keep you posted, and mrs nesbit, I am really so sorry to hear you have had so many MC's, the thought of going through this again just floors me, same here, it's easily the worst thing I have been through since my nan died 25 years ago.

Love to you both xxxx

Hi Stelabelle. Just wanted to say sorry for your loss. I've just been through the same thing a week ago and it's awful. I can't offer any advice or support with medical management as in my case I went for the ERPC.

One thing I've found is that some people will say 'at least there wasn't a baby there' and that can actually be very hurtful. For me the loss feels very similar to my other mmc at 11 weeks, where the baby had developed but didn't have a HB. The expectations were the same and loss is still very real no matter what stage of development.

I hope you don't experience too much pain and that you recover quickly both physically and emotionally. xx

Sorry for your loss. Exactly the same happened to me at 12 weeks. I had erpc and was fortunate to fall pregnant within two months with ds1, now 14. They did an early scan on his pregnancy to reassure me.

Wishing you the best.