The most depressing PG test...

[MistressofPemberley]

...is the one you have to take to get your BFN after mc.

Just bought one today; the girl kind of gave me an excited, conspiratorial look. I just smiled but in my head was going "it's really not what you think".

POAS in the morning. Have to ring results through to EPU. It's better than a blood test I guess.

I lurk on here since my mc a couple of weeks ago at 11 weeks pg. I'm feeling physically fine, bleeding has stopped, pretty sure I'm ovulating actually. Emotionally fine too until I remember that "oh yeah, I'm NOT having a baby in January anymore". This and the "was I ever pg? Did I dream it?" thoughts.

My thoughts are with all of you who are going through mcs at the moment.

Yes I know Burley-in-Wharfedale Catsycat. Agree about distractions. We went for a day out again today. It's good to have projects, your play area sounds fun. We just got a new car a few weeks ago, a nice big one which would be able to take 3 car seats :( but it's also great for camping so we're now organising lots of trips away this summer, going to the coast later this week I think.
I bled for ages after giving birth on and off but it was pretty light, this is more clotty and randomly heavy and it's just annoying me now. I want to get back to normal too, not sure about TTC, haven't had the discussion with DP yet...
Your DDs sound fun :) how old are they? My boys are just turned 3 and almost 5, a proper little gang of two these days, great fun but they've got so much attitude!

Hi again! Like you we went for a big car so we could easily fit 3 cars seats in, plus friends / grandparents, or all the stuff for a week self-catering! Thought we'd stick with the original plan, in the hope that we'll still need the space one day... A trip to the coast sounds fun. We already had our week in Cornwall, and weren't going to go away again, but I really feel like I could use a bit of a break, DH too. Have just been looking at short breaks in Whitby, as I do love it there.

My DDs are 18 months and 4 in september (she just misses out on going to school this year). They are very funny, DD2 tries to copy DD1, and they often sit there giggling away to each other while I'm none the wiser...

Catsycat my DS1 is september-born too so he'll start school a few days before he turns 5, I think it's been nice for him to have a bit longer before full time school but he's so ready and looks a bit of a giant at nursery! DS2 will start nursery in september too. I'll be at a loose end all of a sudden (and walking to and from school all day!).
We're going to Robin Hood's Bay I think, so will probably pop over to Whitby for a day. We love it there too, and haven't been for ages, fingers crossed for good weather! Hope you get a break as well, we have to make the most of 'summer' :)

Hi PT - i was looking on a few threads and noticed that you was quite active on your previous thread also, im feeling very down i started on the Jan 2012 thread a " gone but not forgotten" part but when i glanced on it the other day they removed it completely im actually gutted for i would of made sure it stayed! i may be silly i just feel forgotten!
got decs in doing the bathroom so wont have one till thursday great!!!!!!!!
CC - how are you doing?
i went on amazon today to order a book to help me get through some of my feelings cant wait for it to come to start reading it!

Oh Mama5 that is sad about losing your spot in the thread. I'm sure people will remember you though. They're just all excited about their pregnancies on those threads (understandably), probably best to avoid now I think. I might pop back to my old thread in a few months to see how they're doing. Hope the book is useful for you, this must happen to lots of people so there ought to be good supportive literature out there. Let us know what it's like, perhaps it'd be useful for others.
I just phoned the doctors to make sure my midwife appointment had been cancelled, it hadn't. Now I'm wondering whether I should phone to check my scan has been cancelled too but I burst into tears when looking at the letter. The nurse at EPU said they would make sure this would get sorted out, but I don't want to be taking someone's chance for a scan. Will try ring again later I guess...
Hope everyone else is getting on ok...

Hi Puzzletree, today must be cancelling appointments day... I realised I had my occupational health appointment on Thursday (was diagnosed with ME/CFS earlier this year and had my first apointment with OH right before my first scan...). I haven't had the heart to do anything she told me to do at the last appointment, so have deferred the appointment to September. Was a bit sad to tell her my news, as the last thing she said to me at my previous appointment was to wish me luck with my pregnancy :( .

Mama5, hope the book is useful too. Have you tried the Miscarriage Association website? I've found it very useful. All their leaflets are on there, lots of information and bits about the emotional side as well, and they have a phoneline as well during the day (can't remember the exact hours) if you want to talk to a real person. You can also do a little commemorative forget-me-not on the website with a message for your baby, I think a lot of people don't like the feeling their baby will be forgotten. Some websites also have certificates you can download to acknowledge the baby's brief existence. There was a nice one on Miscarriage Support Auckland that I downloaded, The Miscarriage Assocation also have some I think , but more geared toward getting your mw or doctor to fill them in. I'm going to put one in a memory book for the baby. Sorry, rambling a bit now!

On a happy note, just came back from DD1's swimming lesson, and she swam right across the pool on her own without stopping, and with no float vest / armbands. Very impressed - let her have a Fruit Shoot and a sticker as a reward! Puzzletree she is so keen to go to school - gets really excited when it is mentioned. I think she will be so disappointed when lots of her friends go this september. For some reason she thinks she'll get plimsolls when she starts school, and is really keen on the idea! We're going to look round 3 schools on Thursday, but she will be in nursery - she might actually explode if we took her with us!

Can hear squealing from the playhouse, and as I just found an ants nest right by it, I should go and see if it is good or bad squealing!

Hi All, got an extremely faint positive today so definitely getting there. Feeling a lot better in myself too. And DP said he's happy for us to try for another baby soon, not just yet though, so that's exciting, will take a month or so to recover physically anyway I think. How are the rest of you getting on?
Catsycat I'm impressed with your DD's swimming, I'm rubbish at taking the boys swimming, really need to sort out some lessons for DS1.

Hi there. Had a bit of an emotional morning, as went to the doctors first thing - I have a big fluidy lump in my arm (phlebitis?) from where one of the drips was put in my hand, and I have a bladder infection, probably from the catheter used during the ERPC. So that was a bit annoying... I also saw one of the pregnant women from my baby & toddler group in the waiting room, and was chatting to her. I told her what had happened (she is 28 weeks, so well past my mc being relevant to her), she was very nice about it. Then I went to said baby & toddler group, where there was a new baby (5 weeks old, dark hair like my DDs). One of the ladies that runs the group asked me how I was, so then I cried like a total arse!!! The other pregnant woman in the group, who I know reasonably well then came over afterwards to ask if I was OK, so I ended up telling her about it too (she is 22 weeks, so again past the point where it would freak her out). She has mc twice herself, so she was very sympathetic. Then I saw one of my friends in a shop later, and ended up talking about it again....

Between all that, I had the embarrassment of taking the shoplifted eyeliner back to the shop, and explaining about DDs light fingers again. Luckily the girl I spoke to thought it was quite amusing!

I've just had to phone the EPAU because they haven't been in touch to let me know the baby's remains are ready to collect. The nurse is going to phone the lab and prod them. But I also had to ask her about a big lump (sorry TMI warning!!!) of what was like the egg-white CM, but tinged a really muddy brown colour, which came out on wiping just now!!! Told you it was going to be TMI, sorry! I didn't tell the doctor, because I thought it had stopped (has happened once or twice a day since the weekend). She thought it was OK and probably just my cycle starting to return. Hope so. Hopefully if it is anything less pleasant, the tablets the GP gave me will zap it!

Now I need to catch the cat and take him to the vet, because he has some sort of boil on his foot, which has not gone away despite an injection of antibiotics 2 weeks ago, in which instance the vet previously said she might have to put him under a general anaesthetic and "shell it out". Yuck! and expensive!!!

Rant / venting session over now. Thanks for listening!!!!

Puzzletree I was very surprised and impressed with the swimming. Am taking DD2 from september too. DD1 now has lessons without me needing to go in with her, but when DD2 starts I'll have to go in again... not looking forward to contemplating my delightful figure encased in a swimsuit! I would never get round to taking them at all if I hadn't got lessons booked though.

Hope you're all having a good day x

Puzzletree, meant to say good news that DH is hoping to try again soon. Glad you are feeling a bit better too. x

Hello all. Just to update that I got my BFN this morning, roughly 3 weeks after mc. Waited this long to test again so as not to waste the test.

Feeling ok; now to be strong and concentrate on my new job for a bit and NOT get knocked up

Keep thinking about baby names though...

Hi everyone, just back from seaside camping break, was lovely.
Glad you got your BFN at last MistressofPemberley, need to check mine again tomorrow but hopefully it'll be negative now too. As for baby names I always think of them, or at least am interested in other people's choices, and it'll be good for you to have a few ready for next time anyway, I found it such a struggle agreeing names with DP.
Catsycat poor you getting an infection, hope it clears up quick. And hope the discharge turned out to be nothing? The backs of my hands are still bruised from where they a) took blood and b) put in one of those IV connector things in case I needed a drip on the transfer between hospitals. Otherwise back to normal now pretty much.

Puzzletree, glad you had a lovely break :)

MistressofPemberley, glad you are still looking forward to the job - only the summer holidays between you and it now!!! And like Puzzletree says, keep those baby names for use later!

I think the infection has gone (hurrah!!!), but the big lump is still in my arm - wishing it would go away soon!!! Hoping AF will show up in the next couple of weeks - felt very ovulate-y last week, but couldn't DTD due to antibiotics. Would have been tempted otherwise, LMP date or not...