Love to hear from anyone who is 39 and had two early MC's following a successful 1st pregnancy?

[Tangledisthelatest]

I'm SO disheartened after having my second missed miscarriage. (First at 6.6 weeks then this, at 5 weeks).

After the problem-free pregnancy and birth of DD (whos now 3) its just such a shock that my bodys not functioning right anymore. The doctor puts it down to the fact that I'm older now.

I can manage to GET pregnant quite easily but staying that way seems to be posing a huge problem. Is this just a numbers game?

Would love to hear from anyone else in this position and any stories from those who have gone on trying and had some success. This just all seems insurmountable at present, and especially disheartening as everyones getting up-duffed left, right and centre around me without the slightest bother.

Hello. I have just had my second MC, this time at 12 weeks. We conceived DD quickly and I had a completely trouble free pregnancy at 37. DD now 3. It took us over a year to get pregnant then had MC at 8 weeks. Thankfully I managed to pregnant again before my due date, but earlier this week it all went wrong again. I am going to be 41 next month. It is so heart breaking. It is especially hard after having had such an easy ride with DD. The worst bit for me is not being able to give DD siblings. I didn't meet DP until I was 35, and would loved to have had a big family, but I now just have to get my head round the fact that this is not going to happen. The other horrible thing is people saying how lucky we are to have DD (yes, of course), and that 'at least you know you can get pregnant', when they have no idea of the pain and distress we've been through. I just imagine giving them a massive slap with a big wet fish.

Just wanted to send some sympathy soupmaker's way. You must be feeling awful.
Hell is other people when you are going through what you are going through - but it is just that no-one knows the right thing to say. Even people that have been through a MC can sometimes say "at least you know you can get pregnant" line with all the best intentions.
We also had people say - why can't you just be happy that you have one". Horrid.
Don't feel sad for your DD though. I felt awful that I could not give my DD a sibling but she is surrounded by lots of other only children and I do think there are advantages, and we have a lovely relationship because there has never been any rivalry for attention. I had come around to thinking that she would in all honesty be fine if we did not have another. Now she has a little brother or sister on the way she is delighted of course.

So so sorry for your loss.

Hi Tangled, and anyone else going through the endless hell of recurrent miscarriages.

I hope I can bring some hope! I had a mc when I was 39 at 6 weeks, one when 40 at 10 weeks, another one when 40 at 12 weeks, and another one at 41 at 11 weeks. The last two turned out to have chromosonal problems, which is the cause of lots of miscarriages 'at our age'. I went to various consultants, had all the tests, yadda yadda.

By the time I was 42 I assumed it wasn't going to happen. We went for adoption, and got turned down. Decided to a last-ditch IVF attempt, with a process that tests the embryos for chromasonal problems before implantation. But I never went through with it, as I got pregnant the month before we were due to start. And I didn't miscarry, and had DS at the age of 43. And he's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me.

Don't give up, but allow yourself to be sad when you need to be.