miscarried again - what now?

[harrietlichman]

I have just had my 2nd mc - at only 6 weeks this time, but it is somehow so much worse than my first one. Then I could think it was a one off, random event - it's really common etc etc, but this time, after allowing myself to feel all the things that a newly pg woman is supposed to feel, excited, happy and lucky, I feel utterly devastated.

My dh has been reallly supportive, focusing on the 2dc's we have, and saying we can try again, but I don't know if I can go through this again. I am not even sure if I need to see my gp after this mc (only happened yesterday, but I know it's gone and not just a bleed) and then what after that? Do I wait a few months or get on with it straight away? I know I am not alone in this, reading the other threads on here (through tears!) is a real comfort, but I have to get through cooking and hosting a big family Fathers day celebration today (no one apart from one close friend knew) and I don't know how I will. Can anyone offer me any advice? I just want to feel like I did two days ago.

Hi Harriet so sorry for your loss and I know how hard it must be to be strong for others on Fathers Day.

You may want to go to your local EPU to see that the miscarriage is complete. The medical advice is to wait for a cycle before trying again. This is to help date your pregnancy. However, some people go onto have a successful pg without following this advice.

Your GP can run blood tests for you to test thyroid levels and other things. If you have a recurrent mc clinic in your area, they may see you after 2, but some say you have to have 3.

Good luck in getting the support you need. X

Thanks for your response LAF77 Last time it happened I was on holiday and rang NHS direct who told me to go to A & E where they sent me up to the EPU for a scan straight away. I will ring gp tomorrow and see if they tell me to go up to the hospital. I am trying to be positive and get through today (pain has gone now, so it is easier to push it out of my mind when other people are here) and hopefully will be feeling a bit more positive when it's not so raw.

harriet am so sorry to hear your news i am in the same position was told on friday no heartbeat and this is my 2nd one also however last time was 17 weeks plus :( this time i have to go in for the erpc , but they have to get back to me on monday.

i know what you mean when you say your devasted i am too, its just such a sureal feeling that one minute your so excited and then cruely its taken away .

i would also maybe advice getting a scan to ensure everything is away and to ensure no infection etc.

the medical advice is to wait however this is only so they can date you, i think it depends on each person and how they feel. I think i will wait and see how i feel after my d and c, but i have the same feeling how can i go through this again.

thinking about you and hope you get through today xx

thanks wonderif - today has been harder than I anticipated, had to sneak upstairs for a quiet cry when something out of the blue set me off. I am going to ring doctor tomorrow and see if everything clear, then we go on hols next week so am determined to enjoy myself and take it from there. Really appreciate your message, it helps to know I am not on my own, even though I would not wish this on anyone, Hope everything works out for you too xx