missed miscarriage- conceiving again?

[gd1976]

Hi there,

I have a 31 mth ds and I had a missed miscarriage last week. I was 10 wks pregnant and had a ERPC. The baby had died at 7 weeks. (It has been so much more upsetting than I could ever have imagined, I really sympathize with all of you out there who have had to go through this too)

I would be really grateful for some honest advice and experiences about going on to conceive again. I am pretty keen to get on with it after I get a period. What are the chances of miscarrying again? I felt pretty stupidly confident during this second pregnancy as the first time round there were no problems which was stupid of me when I know the odds of miscarrying are pretty high! I am 34 so I'm not a spring chicken but not too old either........

I can't help but feel I'll be pretty neurotic if I get pregnant again having now had this awful experience!
Also, when you're pregnant you're told to not do this and that as they can cause miscarriage, ie hot baths, drinking, heavy lifting, eating the wrong things etc.etc. and yet when you miscarry all the doctors say is "it was nothing you did, it's just nature".......!!! So what are we supposed to believe???

hi gd

So sorry to hear you have been through this too. I also had a mmc at 10+5 last June - the baby had made it to 9 weeks. I'll try and answer all your questions, but I'm sure there will be lots of others who come along and do the same.

I was, like you, desperate to conceive again following our loss - I physically desired the pregnancy hormones, if that makes any sense. We tried every month after the mmc, and conceived on the 3rd cycle post mc. This was quite a bit quicker than I conceived first time, although I don't think that means anything. I'm now 37 weeks and huge, so its definitely possible to conceive again (and I'm 33 years old - similar to you).

Unfortunately mc is very common, and mmc also more common than people think. Its completely possible for there to be nothing 'wrong' with your fertility and nothing that you did either - its just bad luck, and your body's way of dealing with a baby that, very sadly, wasn't meant to be. You have no higher chance of miscarrying next time than you had before you had a miscarriage.

None of the things you mention cause miscarriage as far as I know. Its probably worth going through a list of things with a medical professional just in case if you are worried. Or refer to the NICE guidelines for pregnancy, which has a very short list of things and food to avoid, and is based on research not old wives tales. Being pregnant after a loss can be quite stressful, particularly in the first trimester, and so you want to get your facts straight before you go mad!

Your EPU should offer you an earlier scan than the 12 week one for 'reassurance' when you next get pregnant.

Really good luck with whatever comes next. Don't put pressure on yourself to feel better before you are ready. I found the grief lasted much longer than I could have predicted, although this is different for everyone.

Thank you crotchet. thats all really good to hear. thank you. It's just horrid isn't it but must look forward!!

firstly sorry for both your losses, I too has a mmc 2 weeks ago, and still completely devastated but very keen to ttc as soon as I get my next period (I'm also 33 going on 34) so thank you gd for asking this important question and thank you crotchet for your wonderful and informative answer.

good luck with your last few weeks crotchet, you give us hope

gd remember to give yourself some love and kindness to process your tragic loss and hopefully see you on the pregnancy thread very soon gd

xx

Thanks mrs d! It really is such a tragic loss isn't it, i feel bad to my friends who have gone through this in the past and I didn't understand how awful it was for them. I feel such a sadness and i'm normally a very upbeat person, but I'm struggling with this!
I know it's true when people say things like, "well it's nature's way, it obviously was meant to be" etc. etc. but it doesn't really help!

I'm very sorry about your sad news.I was in exactly the same position 2 years ago.It took me quite a while to adjust afterwards and I had some counselling which I found very helpful.I agree it is important that you give yourself space and time to grieve your loss.I found that some people just expected me to get over it. Ignore them and take as much time as you need.
I conceived again about 6 months after and my GP very kindly asked the EPU to do a scan at 8 weeks for reassurance.That was a great help. I had no problems in the pregnancy but I did get myself in a state a few times worrying, especially before I could feel movement.I bought one of those fetal dopplers to listen to the heartbeat which was great. DD is 8months old now.Oh, and I'm also 34.
Good Luck for the future!