advice on ERPC v natural

[BatsInTheSnowglobe]

Hi, I found out today that I am having a mmc. This is my first pregnancy, so first mc. I am 9 weeks but measured between 5 or 6 weeks. I've been bleeding since Wednesday, but only lightly and with only mild stomach cramps. I have to decide what I want to do - ERPC or just let nature take its course.
What is the ERPC actually like, is it painful afterward and how long did it take you to recover? Is it all over faster going the ERPC route?
Any advice would be great as I'm not sure what to do, i've had a rubbish week (grandma died tuesday then mc) so my heads with the fairies!
thank you.

I really do feel for you Blue, I felt so cheated that my body had let me carry on believing i was pregnant for a month longer than it should have, but to get to your 12 week scan and find out must have been devastating beyond words.
I was honestly really shocked at how upset i was, i literally spent the first few days in tears, feeling guilty and shocked and very sorry for myself. I can understand why you must be in such shock, at least for me i had started to bleed so was already thinking the worst before my scan, which probably helped reduce the shock.
Could your DH work from home at all? I was very lucky that my OH is freelance and able to take time when needed or work from home. But for the days he couldn't be with me i just spoke to family on the phone a few times during the day (my family are also too far away to visit).
I know it's easier said but try not to worry about the pain etc (i can't speak i was a panicking mess about the pain as you've probably read!) just make sure you have pain killers at the ready and you'll be fine. I worried the entire time, but if I'm ever unlucky enough to go through it again I won't be scared.
Tbh from my experience i'm convinced the NHS made me wait for 9 days for the erpc in order to see if i would just pass it naturally... which i did! I think that unless you ask for surgery they will avoid it unless necessary, the surgeon told me today that if you can pass it naturally it is better for you and unless needed they wouldn't want to do the erpc.
Try and stay strong, thinking of you and hope things start to get better for you soon x.

Bats You know that's a perfectably normal reaction right? Sometimes we need reminding of these things.

Hope you start to heal over the next few weeks

thunder thanks so much for sharing that. I can't imagine how tough it must've been for you. I am hoping that my 5-6week size sac will come out much easier, though still no sign of cramps or bleeding. We will wait until the scan on 7th June and review then if nothing has happened. I am waiting to speak to my boss and think I have decided to give him worst case scenario and say I will be off for the next 2 weeks. I'm not sure what DH said to work but he's stayed home today - suspect he might just have to sort it out when he goes in on Monday!

Thunder that's horrendous, i really do feel for you. Personally although i do feel going through my own mmc is the worst thing I've ever had to experience, your story has made me realise it could have been so much worse, so in a way although i don't feel it, i am kinda fortunate.
Blue my GP signed me off for 3 weeks in total, from the day I started to bleed. I feel a bit guilty and it might be a bit excessive now i haven't had to go through surgery, and that i should just get on with things, but I'm also shattered and know another week off will probably do me good.
I hope things start sorting themselves out for you soon, the waiting must be awful x.

feel as though I have a stabbing pain in my left hand sideof my abdomen...wondering whether this could be the start of something? I seemed to have (sorry TMI) more discharge/mucus last few days but still clear, no pink or brown? Would really like my body to just get on with this so that I can move on! Anyone else remember how it all started...bleeding or cramps first?

Work have been great and said they don't want to see me next week which gives me some space - also sent a huge bunch of flowers which can this morning!

I had a lot of mild stabbing pains and cramps for a week or so before i started to bleed, but every time i mentioned to friends was told it's normal... turns out those stabbing pains and cramps were prob the start of it. I also had (sorry tmi) increased discharge/mucus before bleeding started. I started bleeding on the Wednesday, but on the Monday and Tuesday I thought i saw the palest pink discharge but assumed i was being paranoid and just seeing things, when i say pale i mean literally just off creamy colour. Pains and cramps were mild and ignorable.
Thinking back, for a good week or more before i started to bleed i felt like something was wrong i kept saying to friends i didn't feel pregnant anymore, didn't have horrid pregnancy symptoms and just didn't see me getting a baby in December. They kept just saying think yourself lucky you don't have sickness etc!
I know the feeling, as soon as you know you're mc you just want it over with, i've felt the same. Hope things start to move faster for you soon.
Glad work are being supportive, that helps.

Thanks bats I seem to have had mild cramps on and off all week now that I think of it and today feel totally wiped out - like I'm getting flu, really weak and so tired...which could of course be the emotion of it all but could also be my body starting to sort itself out. Just popped into town and bought super-duty pads, strong painkillers, a large bar of galaxy chocolate (though already eaten that!!), a big packet of camembert and some prawns

haha my OH bought eggs (for soft boiled egg n soldiers!), cheesecake, brie and lots of alcohol for the weekend saying I might as well take advantage of a shitty situation! :)
I was so unprepared when i started bleeding, I use tampons so had no pads. OH came home asap as I was a state and the poor sod got sent to boots for sanitary pads and the strongest painkillers the pharmacist would sell him. He had no idea what to buy and my response was me neither i've not used them for about 17years!!
Fingers crossed things could be moving on for you. If you have a hot water water bottle use that on your tummy it really helped me. And enjoy your camembert and prawns! :)

Slept until 10am this morning which is v unusual for me and could climb right back into bed and sleep again but want to actually see DH for a little bit before he has to go to work this afternoon. Hopefully a friend is going to pop over later as neither DH or I are too keen on me being home alone too much at the mo. I would love Mum to be here, as would she, but she lives in South Africa so not an easy 'pop over' situation and flights are just SO expensive at the moment which makes that pretty much impossible. I also seem to have something wrong with my ear and am going to have to go to the docs - think it needs syringing as can't hear out of it properly, just feels blocked the whole time - why do things always have to happen at the same time?!? Well, will just have to wait and see what the day brings...prawns were good yesterday and will probably finish off the camembert for lunch today

bats hope you enjoyed your eggs, cheese and wine and well done to your OH for his hurried trip to the supermarket!!

Hello all. bats I hope your wine and pasturised feast was delicious!

I've been to the gyne for my scan this morning to check everything was out and it isn't, so I've got to go and have an erpc at the hospital this afternoon. I am gutted as I realy felt like I was getting over it all and starting to think about trying again.

Anyone know if there are any risks to fertility with erpc? what's it like? Oh ARSE.

Oh googie I'm so sorry you've got to go through ERPC after everything! I started a thread on the pregnancy board (sorry it's there - couldn't find the miscarriage section at the time as brain was total mush) anyway I asked people of their experiences re. ERPC and natural and there's quite a lot of info there. let me see if I can do a link for you to save having to go to the pg board, hang on here goes, hope this works...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1223481-Missed-miscarriage-question-poss-TMI-request

PS don't think there's risks to fertility with erpc, in fact I've heard that it can actually give you a fertility boost for a few months. Thinking of you for this afternoon

thank you blue i'll read that link too. I went to the hospital just now and they said to come back at 2pm, so we bought some lunch on the way home and will go back in about 1 hour (we're in france, so one hour ahead) BUT it looks like other people are told to fast before hand? The receptionist didn't say anything about not eating. Gaaah, I really don't want to have to go back tomorrow.

mmm... googie if you have to have a general anesthetic then I don't think you're supposed to have eaten beforehand and in the uk they do them under general - France may be different? Is there a chance they'd admit you overnight to do it first thing in the morning?

Bums, I've got to go in for the erpc on Friday. I'm gutted as I was really getting over the mmc and getting ready to start again. I'll just have to wait to get Friday out of the way and take it from there. It is a general anesthetic with fasting beforehand, which I;ve never had before. God this first baby journey is shit isn't it.

I hope the rest of you have a better week - bats and blue how are you getting on? did you sleep well?

Oh googie I'm so sorry...the whole process is just horrible. Hope the wait until friday isn't too awful!

Still no sign of anything happening here so I'm still waiting!! Sleep not too bad though I was awake from early with my mind turning everything over...again! I spoke to the EPU this morning to check when they could do erpc if I need to have one and if we decide to go that way after scan on tues they could book me in wed or thurs which is good as I'm starting to get less patient to get this all over with. I foolishly read a thread or several about misdiagnosed MCs when you have a tilted uterus yesterday, which I do, which gave me a glimmer of hope but if I'm being rational I really don't think it's a goer due to my dates as even if they couldn't see properly or the measurements were off I think they couldn't be as off as they were IYSWIM. If no bleeding etc before Tues and the scan then shows nothing has changed from last Thurs then we may opt for medical management or erpc just so that we can get closure and move on...this in limbo time is just hideous!

Blue hope this situation resolves itself soon, whether that be naturally or with successful surgery

blue I hope you at least get some answers soon. You're right that the limbo is rubbish. I heartily sick of it myself! I either want to be pregnant or trying to get pregnant, or at least enjoying the food and booze of not being pregnant!

Hi, I've been away for a couple of days for my Grandmas funeral. Everything does always happen at once!

Googie sorry you're having a shit time, try not to worry about the general anesthetic or the procedure. When I was meant to have one i looked at it as - to the surgeon it was probably a boring simple routine procedure he's done thousands of times and could do it with his eyes closed. He told me it only took about 10mins, you shouldn't have too much discomfort afterward and it gets it over with faster! That said you never know you could do a me and pass everything Thursday night! And yes this whole first baby journey is shit, doesn't matter how often people say don't worry you'll get there you just want to shout back WHEN?!.

Blue i really do feel for you the limbo is the worst bit, just waiting, i hope things start to move on faster for you soon. In the mean time enjoy the prawns and cheese and booze - we have to make the most out of a crap situation and enjoy it while we can as we WILL all be pregnant again soon.

I'm ok, i'm still off work, the Doctor signed me off until Wednesday. I thought it was too long to start with but after all the medical side stopped that was when everything hit me and after having had the funeral as well im just exhausted. I've never felt so physically or mentally exhausted, i could just sleep continually, moving or doing anything feels like such effort right now.
My boss phoned me on Tuesday to ask when I was coming back (even though she has my sick note telling her the date) she made me feel guilty for taking the time off like i was skiving, so now i'm worrying about work and feel like they're all bitching about me. (i work with just women so chances are they're bitching!) Boss told me i would be better off at work as it would take my mind off it. No it wouldn't as all the women would just talk about it to me! Amazing how bosses are always experts on everything, even though the doctors and midwife said something different!! Rant over sorry for long venting post! :)