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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Miscarriage at 3 months,the 2nd in in 6 month

2 replies

Mrspositivity · 13/05/2011 19:04

I am 34 (nearly 35) and a mumsnet virgin.
3 days ago I suffered my second miscarriage at 3 months and 2 days. My first miscarriage was at 6 weeks 5 months ago.
My worry is that my /our life is going to be consumed by miscarriage,because despite all that we have and are going to have to go through we will try again. All I can see or read is that once you have had a miscarriage it looks like you have 3 or 4 until you get there-hopefuly. I realise that I have avoided dealing with the loss and am seeking out help to address all the emotions, but the underlining one which I just want to resolve,is that I want our baby back,what did it happen and will it just keep happening?
I know we are damn lucky to of conceived so quickly and that is the biggest obsticle. But could it be that my husband has a very rare blood type that this happened? or that I was really stressing? or that I drank abit over the caffine limit? or that I walked past some sheep at a show( apparently there is a link there). These are all irrational questions,but maybe someone out there could just rationalise them.
One other thing... is it normal that after 4 days I am still cramping (mildly) and a bit of clots ( I had tablets to remove remaining pregnancy).
I am sure there is a few of you out there going through a parallel experience,it would be good to hear from you... and don't give up.

OP posts:
milkyway07 · 13/05/2011 22:12

Hi Mrspositivity, First of all I would like to welcome you to MN, although I am sorry the circumstances under which you have posted. I am really sorry that you have had 2 miscarriages in such a short space of time. It is a very hard thing to go through and can be not just physically, but mentally draining too.

I want you know that nothing you did made this happen. You drinking coffee, stressing or walking past some sheep didn't cause this. Please don't blame yourself. I too have asked myself these same questions, but in the end, like you say they are irrational questions that just make you mad. Unfortunately many women like us can't find an answer for why this happens, and so it's just easier to blame yourself for things you might have done, and ultimately thats not fair.

On the NHS they start testing women after they have had 3 mc's in a row. If you asked your GP, you may be able to ask for some of the tests to see what might be going wrong. If they decline you the tests (the main one is the karyotyping and clotting tests), then you can get other tests done such as hormones, thyroid and vitamin blood tests done to see if you are lacking in anything. They cannot deny you these simple blood tests at your local surgery if you ask for them.
Unfortunately, even after 3 mc's or more, some women (like me) never find out what the underlying cause for the mc's is. Some women go for private treatment, and there are many who are getting themselves tested for NK cells.

In regards to your bleeding - every woman I have spoken to on here seems to have had a different experience. I would wait until a week, and if the cramping and clots are still persistent, then see your GP.

One thing I will say is, please don't give up. You need to be strong and have a clear mind to focus on getting yourself treatment if you may need it. In my eyes, two miscarriages in a row is not bad luck. There may be something wrong with you that is easily cured, for example, many women are diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder and take aspirin and heparin during their next pregnancy, and end up with a baby.

I hope you find the strength to get through this. This is a brilliant place to meet other women in the same situation as you. I have learnt so much here about tests, and even just talking to other women going through the same crap is healing, as they say "a problem shared is a problem halved"; I really do believe that.

Mrspositivity · 14/05/2011 16:49

Thankyou Milkyway.
I went to a memorial service which is held once a year this afternoon. I laid a flower for the baby we lost and lit a candle,for me it really helped to find that peace.
Looking to the future and like you say I need to be strong, I started my first session with a councillor, along with joining a miscarrage group. it seems like I will address loss which ,without really knowing it I have been carrying for a long time.
What progress have you made? I hope that you have got to what ever place you want to be at.
Take care

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