feel so upset but so selfish

[Cazm2]

Hi ladies you may have read my other threads. My younger sister called me last night to say she is pregnant she already has 14 month old. It's would have babys due date Friday and I feel like I have been stabbed in the heart. I am pleased but since my mmc in November it hasn't happened again for us. My sister feels bad and I tried so hard not to get upset as its not her fault we are all going on holiday in less than a month and I just feel so sad and jealous x

Hi Cazm2, I totally understand how you feel and it's normal to feel like that. The same week I had my ERPC a close friend announced her pregnancy and I found it soo hard, I couldn't bear to see her or even speak to her. I felt so bad about the feelings I was having that i spoke to her about it and explained that it's nothing to do with her and i only want the best for her, but her being pregnant and going through all the pg symptoms I'd recently been going through was too painful a reminder of what I'd lost.

Although it still creates a pain in my heart when I see her it has eased and I can deal with it better now.

Don't be hard on yourself and just go with your feelings as I believe it is all part of the healing process. If you bottle them up they will only come back to bite you. x

Ah Caz, I do really feel for you. I found it impossible to be around pregnant women after my mcs. I think it is a very very common feeling to have, and your sister sounds like she understands. Just want to wish you all the very best.

AAahh totally normal and allowed.

Fully understand and sending you some big hugs. Have a blubby snotty cry, rant and rave on here.

Ive been where you are on many occasions so i completely get it.

Ugh! I was just about to start the same thread. I mc in March, shortly after ds 1st bday. I dealth with it all ok but I knew the hardest part was yet to come. Tonight my cousin called to announce her first pg and the due date is just a few days before mine would have been. So instead of bring insanely excited for them I am just sad for myself that I don't get to be pg with her and have a baby the same age etc. so sorry for you!!! I know your pain. I had a good long cry and although I am still sad about it, was good to have some emotional runoff.

Thanks ladies

its really so very hard and i sort of feel more added pressure to get pregnant now!! its so bad. i think on friday -which would have been my babys due date i will have a good old cry and get rid of it. its just difficult a family occassions when everyone will be talking about the pregnancy.

its just always seems some people have things so easy!

fingers crossed its my turn soon and yours also!

Do what you need to do to protect you - there'll be dozens of people fawning over the new baby - there's only one you looking out for you.

it's so hard Caz and every announcement and birth is a very painful and sad reminder of what never happened. There's not much to say really but you're not alone. I am now in month 10 after m/c of #1 (no bfp since) and my SiL has just had her 2nd baby and I can't feel happinness for them - instead i just feel so so sad and empty. I cried for hours when they announced their pregnancy and I just had hoped I was going to be pregnant by the birth.
If only we all knew how to handle and deal with these awful feelings. Emptyshell's advice about protecting yourself is very sound.