How do i cope ?

[lc453]

I am 20 years old didnt plan on having a baby this young but ive now mc'd three times and i'm not coping, i feel like no one else knows what im feeling and just cry all the time, my sister in law has just had a baby (He's now 8 weeks old) and i keep asking, "Why does she get a baby and i don't?" i blame myself all the time and i've become obsessed with babies but hurt myself more by watching them on tv or spending time with them.

Does this pain every go away ?
Thank Esther x

[LAF77]

Hi Esther the pain will lessen over time. It never truly goes away as there will always be times that you think about the babies you've lost. I also have lost 3 pregnancies in 9 months. There have been days where the tears continue to flow and other days when I feel "normal".

MN is a good place to read and talk to others who have been through similar situations. Many people in real life can't relate to your experiences, but we are here to listen.

I struggled to be around pg women who have due dates near mine. I still haven't been around a baby that is near my dates either, so I can imagine how hard it is for you.

X

[lc453]

Thank you for replying x

[MrsSteph]

Big hugs to you!!

I have had 2 MC this year & I do believe that unless you have had a MC you don't understand, I know I didn't before, don't get me wrong I imagained it would be awful but it is 100 times worse!
Be kind to yourself & I believe from friends the pain get easier with time!xxx

[sotough]

hi there esther. so sorry you have gone through this, especially when you are so young. it must be such a shock. First of all, now you've had three miscarriages, you are definitely entitled to have some tests carried out on the NHS. Most likely the tests will show nothing is wrong (which is really frustrating in itself) but you might as well get them done and see.
the great thing is that you are so young; it means your eggs are most likely very healthy, and you have every chance of having a healthy pregnancy at some point, hopefully soon. it may be that you suffer from one of the common causes of miscarriage, which can be very treatable.
I am 36 and had four miscarriages in a row. nobody ever really found out what was wrong with me, despite me having every test under the sun.
i now have a lovely daughter who is four months old. if it can happen to me, at my grand old age, believe me, it will most likely happen for you. i'd be willing to put a very large bet on you having a successful pregnancy in the end. i do know how absolutely awful it is to go through this, and that hearing that you will get there "in the end" is not necessarily much help when you are in a very dark place right now. But you will feel better once you have a plan of action. so, if you haven't demanded tests yet, that should be your next step. you will find lots of support from the rest of us on this board.