MMC and ERPC... conception question after?

[SukieQ]

I had my 12 week scan last week - had had a scan at 6 and 8 weeks due to a bleed, both showed baby viable, so thought i was out of the woods. Awful experience of 12 week scan when realised baby had died and had no heartbeat. I had an ERPC the following day, and I'm coping with the loss now. We had been trying for 4 months, so conceived pretty quickly, and I do intend to try again soon as I had hoped for this baby. (We have a 16 mo old). Does anyone have any experience of conceiving after? Both how long it took? And emotionally, how you managed to get through the pregnancy and 1st trimester? My biggest anxiety is that it will happen again. I can't even imagine having to have a scan again, it was the worst experience of my life. But I desperately want to have another child or two and not wait too long. I'm 31.

BTW this was my second pregnancy and first miscarriage, if it has any impact?

So sorry Sukie.

Hesitated before replying as not sure I have a cheerful post for you - but didn't want to ignore it either.

I started TTC#2 when my DS was 12 months and got pg first month which was a shock as I was 41 (DS had been unplanned). Like you I had a MMC at my 12 week scan (actually 12+6, baby had died at 11+6). I also had an immediate ERPC.

I got pg again on cycle 3. Sadly had another MMC at 11weeks (baby died at 9w). I MC naturally this time, and started acupuncture. She asked me to wait 3 cycles before trying again, first month of TTC I got pg again.

Sadly another MMC at 12 week scan, baby died at 10+1. ERPC again.

Have had all the recurrent MC tests and nothing is "wrong". But I am now 43, so MC rates higher anyway.

I've now in my 7th month of trying again, and not a sniff of a BFP (yet).

There are a couple of very supportive TTC after MC threads in the conception area.

You are still very young in TTC terms. It is also VERY common to MC once. You're very likely to have successful pregnancies in the future. But you will never have the stress-free pregnancy you had with your first child. Pg after MC is a tough old road.

I wish you all the very best. Look after yourself and my advice would be get "emotionally well" before you TTC again.

Thanks for your honest reply. I think I know in my heart that it's unlikely that something will go wrong again, but knowing that it was unlikely that something would go wrong this time (based on having a viable scan, age, healthy live birth before, no MC etc), it's like a shadow hanging over me. I don't think it will ever go away. I think when my partner and I are ready, we'll try again and hope for the best. And if things don't go as planned, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

It's very much a strange balance of wanting another baby very much, but not wanting to have any baby, of replacing the one I lost. I'll never get 'that baby' back.

I'm sorry Jollster, I blazed ahead in my reply without saying I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having to go through this more than once and I have a lot of admiration for women with the strength and determination to try again after multiple losses. Thank you for your honesty and wish you all the best too.

I had a mmc at 13 weeks last June :( baby had dies at 12+6 so the day before scan. I had ERCP that day. I got pg again in sept but mc at 5 weeks ish, then got pg again in Oct and i'm now 30 weeks pg with a healthy boy :o
This is my 3rd baby, no reason for other mc's just got told it was bad luck. I couldn't bare the 12 week scan wait, had scan at 8 weeks and saw a heartbeat, then a very teary scan at 12 weeks which was all good. I chose to attend a different hospital this time as i had really bad treatment by EPU at my local hospital and could not possibly have gone back to that ante natal clinic, i actually made a complaint and got an apology.

sukie so sorry for your loss. I had a mmc followed by an ERPC last summer. The pregnancy was the result of taking clomid and we'd been trying for 18 months so I was gutted. However, I got pg again 4 months later and am now 24 weeks. Oh, and I'm 37 and have PCOS so struggle to conceive. The treatment I had (clomid) was private and the consultant advised me to wait till I'd had 1 normal period before ttc again.

Hope that helps, do be kind to yourself and sorry again for your loss.

is it quite common for the mmc to happen so late in the first trimester? I had thought once there was a heartbeat, it was less likely but it seems pretty common for mmc to be picked up sadly at 12 week scan? The fact it happened relatively late (9 wk) for me and was picked up at 12 wk after viable scans at 6 and 8, made me even more worried it would happen again. i know there's no guarantees and sad and unfair things happen out of our control, but it's more common than i knew to miscarry up to 12 wk...

Sukie, I had a mmc in early December, picked up at 12 week scan when I was actually 12+5, showed the baby had died at 8 weeks.

Had ERPC a few days later, waited for one normal period, normal cycle returned straight away.

Had sex once, without even realising it was the 'right' time as didnt want to put too much pressure on ourselves and I am now 17 weeks with ID twins.

I have completley freaked out been nervous during this pregnancy, but I think its natural. I went for a private scan at 8 weeks, which I perceived as the 'danger' period because of the mmc. Each week that progresses I feel a little more relaxed (although with the twins I now have a whole host of other issues to obsess worry about.

I hope it works out for you x

Thank you so much for your message Sliverangel. That is really reassuring, and I wish all the best for your pregnancy.

Hey Sukie, just my experience fwiw...

I had a 'threatened mc' with DD1 at 14 weeks, a really big bleed, so bad we were sure we'd lost her, and had then 2 months of bleeding on and off after that, and a few other worrying things. But she got here safely in the end in Dec 08.

Then I had a mmc Nov 09, found out at the 12 week scan with ERPC 3 days later, so you have my sympathies, I know how horrid it is. I think as my first pg had some difficulties it wasn't such a shock as it could have been, and I'd been trying not to get excited until after the 12 week scan at the earliest.

I really wanted to start TTC asap (as I'm in my mid thirties), but my fertile time was over Christmas, and we were staying at IL's so we left it that month, it wasn't practical (!). And then I fell pg the following month, Jan 10, and had a few early scans, and it was such an easy pg (apart from the worry in the first 4 months) - so different from DD1 - and DD2 arrived last Oct.

So you never can tell, its just a case of hoping it works out. I think its a hard balance of trying not to get too excited or worrying intensely when you do fall pg, very hard indeed. I know I'm lucky. And I wish you lots of luck x

thanks for the responses everyone. it really is reassuring to know that other women have been through it and then got pregnant again and made it through with a healthy baby and without losing your minds in the process. i really do appreciate your comments.

I've just had an ERPC- yesterday. Your stories are very inspirational and heartwarming: gives hope to the rest of us. Sorry for your losses, best of luck for the future. x