Finding it hard today

[Blackcoffeeandcigarettes]

ive namechanged. I lost our baby yesterday at 5 weeks. Ttc for 2 months so quickly caught. This one just wasn't meant to be. The hospital deals with this all the time, and seemed cold and clinical when I found out. I just sorta went "oh, ok then" and went home. I guess im just another number to them, but my heart had just been crushed. I left feeling shocked and sad.Today reading all about mothers day and seeing families together is breaking my heart. I'm not sure I can go through all this again. When should we try again? Is this going go happen again? I'm not sure I can cope with the anxiaty. I can't talk to anyone in rl (except dh) as no one knew. So I get to endure the "when are you having a baby" chat.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

I'm so sorry :(. Only yesterday? It's still so raw, no wonder you're finding it hard.

Just some practical things, you can try again as soon as you are ready just as long as you have stopped bleeding. No one can say unfortunately if it will happen again but there is no more chance of it happening to you than there was before. One mc doesn't affect your chances of a successful pregnancy next time.

And I'm definitely finding not being able to talk to anyone the hardest thing. The few people that knew expect me to be over it 2 months down the line and the ones who didn't know, understandably expect me to act normally. And I was grilled yesterday by my niece who wanted to know why I only had one child and why hadn't I had any more. There wasn't a lot I could say to that.

Take it easy and be kind to yourself. It's such early days for you, take it one day at a time xx

[Blackcoffeeandcigarettes]

Thanks for your reply, I was a bit rambly. We are casually trying and I didn't expect me to be so upset. I tried to stay calm as I knew the risks but it's impossible! The treatment in the hospital shocked me. They just said "so your having a miscarriage, is there any clots" like they were asking me if I wanted a cup of tea. I also feel guilty. I think I did everything right. Do I take this as my period? So I will be ovulating in about 2 weeks? Or do I wait a full cycle and then take two weeks from my next one? I wish there was a manual!

[wellieboots]

So sorry for your loss
As Gwen said, it is still very very early days, and it may take you a while to feel like anything other than putting one foot in front of the other and taking every hour as it comes.
Please know that this is not your fault and there is no need to feel guilty (although I did too so I understand that), it took me a long time not to feel that way.
Grieve in whatever way helps you - it's important to acknowledge your mc as a loss and that you're entitled to grieve for however long it takes.
The ladies on here are amazing and helped me in so many ways.
Take it very easy on yourself for a while, you have been through a huge emotional and physical trauma and you will likely be exhausted for a while yet.

Hope your DH is being very supportive, is there anyone else you would think of telling for some support? And MN is here whenever you need us.

As for trying again, they recommend that you wait for one AF (period) before trying again, as it helps to date the next pregnancy, and helps the lining to regenerate itself naturally. But you don't have to do that if you want to try again straightaway. As long as your bleeding has stopped and you've had a negative test (so that you know if you get a positive it's from a new pregnancy) you are good to go if you feel emotionally ready.

love to you and please take good care,
xx

[Blackcoffeeandcigarettes]

Thank you for your kind words. They mean alot. It's funny but the support I get on here I find easier than when the emotions of my loved ones get thrown in the mix to. My dh is upset, buy fabulous. It will make us strong. I hope in a few months I can give you the news that we have been successful. And I hope you can do the same xxxx