Hello Manda. I have been where you are now, 5 years ago almost to the week.
little TMI warning, but I want to write it as I found details really helpful and judging by what you have written, you do too.
For me it was a bit the other way around because they (and I) thought I was less far along than I was - I was a couple of days away from my 12 week scan when I started to bleed, so was left to manage naturally at home with an appointment to attend EPU 2 days later (I remember them saying that they couldn't fit me in before that and just thinking "WTF?!" I'd always thought suspected miscarriages were blue-lighted to hospital because that's what happens in the movies). I ended up going into labour at home and after about 20 hours delivering, just as you have descibed, a terrifying amount of clots, one of which was a dark sac that clearly contained the baby although I was not brave enough to open or look properly (lovely, brave DH dealt with it for me). I called it a "goose egg" although it was a bit bigger than that. We kept it in a little box in the fridge until the appointment, at which they confirmed that the baby was about 14-16 weeks but hard to tell, there were tests that could be done to confirm exact gestation etc but I just didn't want it fiddled with - for me, I had been through so much by then and my head was totally scrambled, I just wanted to go home with as much "intact" as possible.
Yes I also bled for about 2 weeks, different from a period and sometimes a frightening amount, but please ring a HCP and check any time you want to, don't worry about being a pain.
I am sorry to tell you that 2 weeks after that I had been advised to take a pregnancy test to check that all had completed. I did, and it was a strong positive. I was told to come back to EPU (again, a couple of days later) to check for "products remaining". That test was positive. I then needed an ERPC a few days later, which led to other complications. I just wanted to touch on that with you as, for me, it came as a terrible shock as a couple of weeks after losing the baby I was starting to tell myself "at least it's all over" and then it suddenly wasn't. However, since you had medical management first, I am sure that this is unlikely to happen to you. I hope it hasn't upset you to hear this; I only wish someone had warned me about the possibility of incomplete miscarriage even after all that.
I remember it all as being a very surreal time, as though the world had gone a bit strange and silent. It was also a very lonely time as no-one really knew what to say to me and very few people except DH and my best mate were prepared to just be with me. I also remember feeling strangely ill, semi-dead almost - as though I had survived death myself, or kind of visited death through the baby's experience - hard to describe.
Things that helped - we buried the baby under a special plant in our garden, just DH and I. I am glad to see you have picked a name and such a sweet one, that really helps. Like you we had an older child at the time, she was wonderful and very loving through this time, although telling her that her sibling wouldn't be coming was very hard.
I would recommend a book to you that is designed to help children cope with bereavement called "The Day The Sea Went Out And Never Came Back" and I found it was the only thing that really came close to how I was feeling - I would sort of read it to the lost baby.
I love music and nature, so I spent a lot of time with these. We did a lot of camping & singing. I was very, very kind to my body and took lots of time to pamper myself and make myself feel good - massages, baths, whatever I fancied. I realised early that it was important to make friends with and kind of forgive my body.
5 years later I am very strong and a happy person who enjoys life a great deal. 2 years ago I had another baby, which took immense courage. I didn't want to try again straight away, for 2 years I swore I wouldn't in fact.
I wish women talked more about miscarriage, it makes it less lonely and frightening, I think. Hats off to you for doing so.
Anyway that's quite enough from me! Manda, please feel free to PM me about anything, you have been through so much and there is a lot of support here for you. Take good care now. x