Where do i go from here

[charleypumpkin]

Hi all

I am hoping that my story in not unique and there is someone out there that can understand and maybe ease my broken heart and maybe offer advice and hope.

I found out i was pregnant 10/01/11, not expecting to be pregnant as DH had snip 5 years ago. We have already 3 DC age 11,7 and 4. Was very shocked and under alot of stress as personal circumstances due to last pregnancy was advised not to ttc again and DH not really wanting another as youngest now at school and myself back to work full time. Got ok from gynae team to go ahead but with very closely monitoring then sadly had mmc at 11 weeks 02/02/11.

Although i had felt my family was complete and due to health reasons (i do not carry well) having now suffered this loss I really really feel that i want to try ttc again but am getting little support from hubby who will not go and get tested and wants me to be sterilised.

Has anyone else out there shared anything similar and what do you think my chances of conceiving again are? We are just carrying on as normal and not using any contraception so in a way he is not stupid he must be consenting to try again?

thanks

ps i lost my first too which was mmc at 7 weeks before having my 3 DC.

I have three children and had an unplanned pregnancy in September. We were shocked and thought long and hard about what to do (well not so hard for me I knew I wanted to keep it straight away really). Anyway I then miscarried at 10 1/2 weeks. What is really hard now is that DH feels relieved, that having 4 would have been a huge strain. I know it would but I just long for a baby now. I am approaching my due date and I keep thiking about how there should be a baby there, I should be about to give birth. I know there is no way DH would be persuaded now and he is super careful with contraception now. Feels really sad.

Yeah my DH was like that as well felt extremely relieved as he was pushing for me to terminate due health reasons he did not want to have to go through what he said was hassle like the last 3 pregnancies even when we were given the ok to carry on. He was also mindful of the strain it would put us in financially but i just did not care we would have found a way i think you always do like my mum said think of how big families used to be they managed on a lot less that what we have now. I know how you feel longing for a baby i do too and am hoping that with him not being proactive with contraception it happens again and really he must know that it could happen and understand that his vasectomy cannot be relied on now.

I cant talk to DH about it he does not understand the maternal need i have to have another baby and am just hoping that it happens easily. I am almost 35 and realise that my own fertility is in decline.

Have you talked to him about it and tried to make him understand the longing that you have. For me even though it was not planned and i did not choose it, now i know i want it more than ever and i have made sure with several hints and references that my DH knows this too(although i am not 100% sure he is taking it in) and it is what i want so i am hoping that if it does happen i get more support than last time. Take last night for instance my eldest (11) was moaning that his brother(4) was annoying him (they share a room) and i replied to my DH what do you think will happen when we have another if it is a boy he did not say we are not having another he said 11 year old would have to lump it!! He could just be being nice because it is still early days of losing baby but it gives me hope.

I am dreading the due date i am still thinking i would be 19 weeks now and feeling very sad, try telling him how you feel he may change his mind