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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Failing pregnancy

15 replies

angela85 · 14/03/2011 15:53

Hi guys. I'm new here, my sister told me about this site, so i thought i'd give it a go and join.
Basically I started spotting (like a brown discharge) at 8weeks. was booked in for a scan and the baby showed to be only 5weeks in size. We were hoping i'd just got the dates wrong, but after some blood tests it became clear the pregnancy was failing. My Hcg levels did rise but not enough. Had another blood test today to see where they are now, get results tomorrow.
I just wondered if anyone knew how long i'll be sat here waiting for a miscarriage before they do anything for me medically?
I really just want it to be over now as its really hard to get over and grieve something that is still technically alive.

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dickiebird · 14/03/2011 18:50

Hi Angela I'm really sorry to hear your news. I was 7+4 and my scan showed 4-5 weeks. They said to come back in a week for a rescan but I started bleeding 2 days later. I asked the nurse how long they would wait if it didn't start naturally and she said they don't like to leave it more than 2 weeks due to increased risk of infection. So I guess thats the longest they would wait and if nothing is happening and you were distressed they would help you out sooner.

I hope it's not too awful for you, take care of yourself x x

Original poster

angela85 · 15/03/2011 09:00

Thank you so much for your reply dickiebird. so sorry to hear you went through the same thing, it truly is an awful experience.
Its been a week now since the scan. should get the latest blood test results today, and I have a re scan booked for Thursday. Hopefully if nothing has happened on its own by then they'll do something for me. I guess for now I just have to sit and wait for the inevitable. xx

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harassedinherpants · 15/03/2011 11:04

Hi angela, so sorry to hear your sad news.

It seems to very much depend on your health authority. I had a mmc at 10+1 and the baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. Unlike some people, I didn't have to wait for a follow up scan or blood results. I has offered 3 options: wait and mc naturally, medical management or erpc.

I opted for erpc, and had that on the Tuesday (scan was on Friday).

I found my mw to be really helpful as after my scan I didn't take in at all what they were telling to me, so I spoke to my mw and she went through it all. So may be worth considering giving yours a ring if she hasn't already been in touch.

Be kind to yourself x

edwardcullensotherwoman · 15/03/2011 11:15

Hi Angela, I'm so sorry to hear your news.

Thank you for this thread - I think I'm about to go through the same thing myself. I have my EPU appointment and scan tomorrow after I had brown discharge which turned to dark blood with clots yesterday. I did start a thread in pregnancy but have left that go for now as I don't want to put a downer on anyone/scare anyone on that board. I know it doesn't make it any easier, but I just keep thinking it obviously wasn't meant to be, and there's nothing I've done.

Look after yourself and take it easy.

Original poster

angela85 · 15/03/2011 13:20

I'm so sorry for everyone who has been through or is going through this, but in some small way its a relief that i'm not the only one.
I too keep telling myself that its probably for the best, as the baby wasn't healthy, and i know its nothing i've done. I have a 2 and a half year old daughter, and all my friends and family, keep telling me that i've at least got her. I know they're right, and i'm thankful for her each and every day, but none of this makes it any easier. All i can do is wait for it all to be over, and try to get on with my life. I'm sure in time things will get better, and eventually we'll try again.
I'm sorry for all your losses, but please know you're not alone, and in the short time i've been on mumsnet, i realise there are so many sympathetic and caring women out there who all want to help. xxx

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blondiemommy · 15/03/2011 14:01

I have just read your messages and am too going through the same. Had my 12 week scan yesterday and then said only showed 5 weeks and had I got my dates wrong? Knew i hadn't and had no bleed. Got results of bloods yesterday and they show normal pregnancy levels, now have to wait a week to have them rechecked, rescanned and then decide what to do. The wait is awful. This is site is wonderful. Would be in the dark without it. Sorry to hear women going thru the same. Lots of love xx

wellieboots · 16/03/2011 06:18

So sorry for your losses angela and others

My situation was slightly different in that I had no bleeding or anything, and the only way I knew anything was wrong was via a normal dating scan at 12 weeks, but I was offered the options of waiting for natural mc, medical management or erpc, and I would think you would be too, although it may depend on the hospital.

Hope you have good support in RL and take it easy - it's a horrible time and also very surreal, in that the mc hasn't actually happened - I felt that I was in a kind of limbo which is why I went for an erpc so that at least I had some control over that part of it.

Lots of love to you - there are loads of wonderful ladies on here who are incredibly supportive if you need it - it's good, but also very that there are so many of us who have come through the same thing.

take care x

Original poster

angela85 · 16/03/2011 12:29

Well, things seem to be changing somewhat. I got my blood results last night, and apparently, the hcg levels are still rising, not doubling as they should, but the fact that they're still going up has to mean something!
After being told that i would lose my baby, i tried to prepare myself for the loss, and now they're saying that the baby might be alright after all. I'm so confused right now, i don't want to get my hopes up too much as it would be like losing the baby all over again, if things don't look right on the scan.
I have the scan booked for tomorrow morning, so i'll keep my fingers crossed.
Has anyone else ever heard of anything similar, where a baby goes on to be fine even when, the hormone levels haven't been doubling? or could this be the sign of something more sinister? ectopic maybe? any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. xxx

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blondiemommy · 16/03/2011 13:24

I am sorry I have no experience of this angela, and it must be very frustrating for you. Am keeping my fingers crossed and hopefully someone will have been through this to help explain. Best Wishes x

edwardcullensotherwoman · 16/03/2011 20:46

Good luck for your scan tomorrow angela - I had mine today and there was apparently no evidence of a pg but have had bloods done and I'm due more friday to check the hcg levels.

I really hope the rising levels for you are good news. At the moment I'm living by "hope for the best, expect the worst"! That helped me get through the scan in one piece, and will hopefully keep me sane over the next 48 hours. Best wishes, I'll be thinking of you. x

Mitzimaybe · 17/03/2011 22:13

Hi Angela, I'm new here too and have just been through the exact same thing. It was an absolute nightmare to be told the pregnancy is failing / had failed but yet it was still inside me. Scans and blood tests showed one thing then another - I was mourning, then my hormone levels went up, so I had hope, then that was dashed again etc.

I had no idea it was like this. On TV the woman get a sharp pain, clutches her belly, puts her hand between her legs & it comes out bloody, then she goes to hospital & about an hour later is told "I'm sorry, you've lost your baby." Real life is so different.

I started bleeding on 2nd March and the pregnancy was still there on the scan on 11th March but had gone naturally by yesterday, 16 March. I was told last Friday that if it HADN'T gone by yesterday, I'd be offered pills to try to force it out, or ERCP, but that they would recommend the pills. So in my case that would be 2 weeks between starting to bleed and them offering treatment.

Good luck and I hope it's not too bad for you.

Mitzimaybe · 17/03/2011 22:15

P.S. My hormone levels went up (but didn't double) too. What did your scan today show?

Original poster

angela85 · 18/03/2011 15:51

Well went for scan yesterday, and unfortunately the baby hadn't grown since last time. Because of my hcg levels still going up, i wouldn't miscarry on my own so was booked in for an ERPC yesterday afternoon.

Feeling very sorry for myself today, and a bit like a pin cushion. Bruised all over, from all the needles...my veins are a bit rubbish, so been poked so many times!

Very upsetting but at least its all over now. time to try and move on and eventually try again.
Thank you all of you for your kind words and support, you honestly made this experience a little easier for me. Much love to all. xxxx

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Original poster

angela85 · 18/03/2011 15:55

P.S ... I was offered the pills too, but as i live over an hour away from the hospital, i don't drive and have a 2 1/2 year old it seemed more sensible to get it all over with in one day.

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Mitzimaybe · 18/03/2011 16:37

Oh, I'm so sorry the news at your scan wasn't better. That was me just a week ago. {{{Hugs}}}

As I was already bleeding, I wasn't really given an option (unless it went on more than 2 weeks) but I did keep saying "If it's really doomed then I just want it over with" it was agony to know that it was still inside me but not developing at all.

Everyone's decision has to be personal to them and so ERCP is right for you.

"Very upsetting but at least its all over now. time to try and move on"
This is how I felt when I had the scan that showed it had gone. However, after your ERCP your hormone levels will start to drop and you may well find you become very weepy and emotional out of the blue. It's totally natural so just be kind to yourself and let your feelings just happen.

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