I should be 20 weeks pregnant today

[Alibobster]

I should be getting a big belly and feeling my baby kick But I lost my baby boy at 9 weeks. I had seen his wee tiny body andhgeatbeat and I thought this time I'd be lucky, this wee one would make it. Not the case.
i'm so sad today, keep counting as the weeks go by and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it

Dear Ali you are not alone in your sadness. You will always carry the memory of your baby with you and it will be hard to think about it without feeling sad.

Maybe people in RL don't understand why we still think like this, but it isn't abnormal to have the feelings that you do, as they haven't been through the pain of mc.

Thinking of you....

I totally feel your pain. But please don't give up hope. I had 6 early MC's and was told to give up trying. I now have 2 lovely, adorable healthy DC

I'll keep you in my thoughts today, be kind to yourself and try not to dwell

I do the same, counting the weeks. It's hard not to though isn't it? I also count the weeks since my scan and then since the erpc......

I really feel for you, and thinking of you x

Me too. I can't help it. I can't help myself lurking on my birth board either to see what they're all doing.

Hugs Ali, thinking of you too xx

Ladies thank you so much for your lovely words, I can't tell you how much they mean to me. I'm sorry you're all having to go through this to.

My m/c was just after Christmas and I've found this one particularly hard as we did see a heartbeat. I have also just found out that the baby (I know some people don't consider 9 weeks to be a baby, but I did) was a boy, and the reason for m/c was because of a chromosome problem.

I am so lucky and blessed to have a beautiful ds who is 4 and he is my world but I keep thinking now that I have lost a wee version of him, if you see what I mean. My DH is wonderful but he seemed to think that it was better that at least we had an explanation this to to what had happened but for me it doesn't ease the pain and finding out the sex has made it worse. On a day to day basis I'm fine but then all of a sudden the pain will hit me like a train. I really want another baby but don't know if I can put myself through it again. Love to you all and thanks for listening xxx

Dear Ali,
I had a m/c 2 years ago this month. I still think like you, my baby would be this age now, he would be learning to walk, etc. Had two failed ICSI too and had to move on from that as now I am too old to try again. All I can say is keep trying to smile through.

During my ICSI I joined a support forum too and it was a huge support but after the failures I could not go back to join in any chatter - I could not bear knowing if others had been successful - too painful.

I hope your wishes come true one day

XX

I am so sorry Ali, it is horrible. I am just going through it for the second time now. I have a very precious DD and know what you mean about losing a wee version. I am dreading the due date (which happens to be my birthday) and know I will also miss other milestones in the pregnancy.