MMC and was never offered second scan. Playing on my mind now.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

I'm sure anyone who reads this topic knows I had a mmc 5 weeks ago, diagnosed with a scan at 11 weeks but baby was only 6 weeks.

I was told the news then sent home to decide whether I wanted an ERPC or to wait for things to happen. I went for the ERPC two days after.

But nearly every thread on here mentions being sent away and waiting for another scan before taking any action. No one mentioned another scan to me. I was sure of my dates but now I'm beginning to wonder if I did the right thing, were they absolutely sure that it was all over? At only 6 weeks they might not necessarily have seen a hb anyway?

Gwendoline, I guess they offer a second scan if there is any possibility that your dates could be wrong - for example, if you say you are eight weeks pg but the baby is only six weeks. It's possible your dates are wrong, so they have to wait and see. But if you were 11 weeks and the baby only made it to six weeks, then I guess it is very clear then that there is no hope. That would be my take on it anyhow. I didn't have a second scan with my ERPC because it was very obvious what had happened.

The aftermath of a mc is very hard, and it is completely natural to question yourself ime. I think it stems from a very human need to think that we can control events - but this one is out of our hands, sadly.

Hi

I had 2 scans but only bcos I asked, and only 30 mins apart. They showed me how they confirm it, I'm sure it's a set protocol so I'm sure they would have done the same for you too. Basically, they measured the baby, my dates said I was 11 weeks, baby was only 8 week size and clearly had no limbs, which it should have had by 11 weeks. She showed me where a hb should be, there wasn't one, then she showed me the Doppler - ie. red and blue movements where blood flow should be - again, there wasn't any.

I think if your baby was only 6 week size at 11 weeks they thought that was confirmation. I can see why you are worried but I'm sure they wouldn't havd done an erpc if there was any doubt c

GwendolineMaryLacey I'm so sorry to hear this.

I've had 4 mc, two mmc and both times I've only had one scan to confirm. I thinks it's natural to wonder and worry about this.

With my 2nd mmc I had a heartbeat at 7 weeks but went back 2 weeks later to be told pregnancy wasn't continuing. I had an ERPC but then afterwards I was panicking and thinking 'what if they've got it wrong' DH told me he looked at the monitor during the scan (I couldn't bear to) and he could clearly see that things had changed. I've since discovered my baby had a chromosome defect and this is what caused the mc.

It's very hard because its your body but you're having to put your trust in someone else to tell you what's going on. (Hope that makes sense) I do believe if there was even a tiny amount of doubt they would have given you a second scan

Take care of yourself x

Please try not to torture yourself, you made the right decision for you. I had 1 scan and was told about my MMC I was supposed to be 8 wks and baby measured 5-6 wks. I went home to do things naturally then changed my mind. I went back to hospital the same day for ERPC but when I got there the doctor very bluntly told me I should wait a week as there was a small chance of a heartbeat developing as my dates were BORDERLINE! However he said the chance was so slim he was unwilling to give me a %. So I waited a week and there was of course no change. I really think if there had been any uncertainty the doctors would have said otherwise they would be acting completely unethically and would be breaking their codes of conduct.

I'm so sorry for all you are going through.

Gwendoline, You were kind enough to post on my thread a couple of days ago 'Could this be a mmc'. I went for my 12 week scan on Tues and it showed a 5 week fetus. The sonographer said to me that if I was a week further on (6 weeks) they would be able to tell more - e.g. whether it was a viable pg - but at 5 wks it's hit or miss if you can pick up a hb.

I told them that I was really sure about my dates but they wouldn't take that and I got my re-scan date through today for 17 days time - which is really bad - how can they expect you to wait that long!! I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to insist they refer to me to the EPAU - as I know I've had a mmc.

I think it's natural to doubt things and think what if - at a time like this our emotions are all over the place. However like you I know my dates and if they are saying I'm 5 wks it means I conceived 3 wks ago (that's what they told me), yet I did a pg test 5 wks ago that said I was 3+ wks.

If they said you were 6 weeks that would have meant you conceived 4 wks previous to the scan I presume? - but did you do a +ve pg test before that time? If so unless some kind of miracle has happened I would trust in the dates you know are right. There is no way they would have sent you for an ERPC if there was any doubt.

I'm very sorry for your loss,

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in worrying about this, I got scanned at 14 weeks and the baby only measured 9 and a half and had no heartbeat. I then had medical management which failed and finally an ERPC. The thought crept up on me sometimes that maybe they made a mistake, but I know logically its not true. I have the scan photos with measurements and it is all very obvious.

I thought I had read somewhere that it was policy to scan twice, precisely to stop women worrying about this afterwards. I guess, as with all things, it depends on the postcode lottery.

Please bear in mind that denial is also a very classic stage in the grieving process, and sometimes we go through denial, guilt/anger, sadness and then cycle back again through those emotions before eventually coming out the other side. Dont be afraid to grieve for the very precious thing you have lost, its what will help you move forward.

Take care,

Hi Gwendoline,

So sorry that you are feeling like this just now
I had a blighted ovum with no symptons of mc, so it wasn't picked up until a routine dating scan at 12+2.
Before I opted for erpc I was offered another scan if I wanted it, but I asked them not to as I couldn't face getting back up on that table where I had got the bad news. DH would have liked me to have another scan, "just to be sure" but he respected my decision not to.

After the ERPC I did start to think what if? I think that is just a natural stage of the grieving process that we go thorugh. In the end I just had to trust that I had been checked by two sonographers, and two midwives and a consultant had checked their notes, and that there was no doubt.

On your point about other peopel having to wait for second scans, I think this is where you have an early scan for whatever reason, and it is too early to tell for definite that there is a problem. I was told that they would not have been able to tell me definitely until 12 wks. In your case and mine, we found out quite late and I think that is why they were able to deal with it quickly.

Hope you have some good support in RL, you will get through this, but it takes time and going easy on yourself.

Big hugs to you

Hi everyone, sorry for not replying, have been away from the computer for most of the day...for a change!

Thank you for all your responses. I know in my heart that if there was a shadow of doubt they wouldn't have proceeded. I think I panicked when I read post after post from people mentioning the second scan and began to think what if... As I said, I was absolutely spot on with dates, no doubt whatsoever, plus the fact that for most of the 5 weeks' difference I was aware that all wasn't right, I knew really before I went for the scan.

But thank you all for being lovely about it and not telling me I'm losing the plot, even though most of the time these days I feel like I am. Hugs to all of you, I hate that we've all had to go through this x

This is meant to be a wee bunch of flowers for you xxx