My friend is in labour, i thought i would be fine.

[daisytaylor]

Hi ladies i had to come on and write something just as a way of helping myself. I am very lucky to be blessed with children but over the last 3 years i have lost twins, had a mmc a year ago and 5 weeks ago i had an ectopic. I also had 2 mmc before my children were born. I took the decision after my ectopic not to try anymore. One of my closest friends went into labour this morning and i thought i would be fine and really happy for her. I am happy for her. I was standing in the kitchen making a cuppa and just burst into tears and now i feel really down and somewhat guilty. I have done really well not to feel sorry for myself but now i do and i have a feeling of dread waiting for the phone to ring with her wonderfull news. Is it horrible to say it just feels so unfair. Thanks for listening to me.

Hey,
Im sorry to hear of your losses. Its so hard
. Lots of my friends are due very soon, including one very close friend. I should of been due in a few weeks but my son was stillborn. one day im ok, and the next feel very down. Im wondering how i will cope meeting up when she has had the baby...like i cant even look at a baby in the street atm. But to know that our babys should of been born at the same time but mine is gone is just too much. dont get me wrong, im very happy for my friends...but still feel empty and down.

Your not alone...i feel your pain...will be thinking about you today. If you want to chat im here.xx

Hi sleep, firstly i am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through right now having delivered your son stillborn. Thank you for your reply, i always feel like a bit of a fraud coming on here having already got children. I know i shouldn't feel that way but i can't help it.Some of the mums at the school have not long had babies so i try my best to dart past them and try not to look in the prams and get home as soon as i can. I normally like to get over the forest with the dogs for a long walk which helps me but i can't even do that at the moment as i had an infection in one of my incisions 3 days after surgery and it is still not healed over 5 weeks on. I am up and down to see the nurse every other day and i feel like it is a constant reminder and i can't move on yet.
I think if you don't feel ready to visit your friend and her baby she will understand and you should wait until you feel ready. Maybe send her a nice card congratulating her and that you don't feel ready to visit yet. If she is a good friend she should understand and respect that. Thank you for your support today, it has really helped me. I am also here if you want to chat.

I'm sorry you're going through this. My SIL has just had a baby today (c sec) and I thought I'd be ok as she was so far ahead of me (I would be 14 weeks now) but it's really hit me hard. Had a big meltdown in the office just now and all the colleagues that didn't know what had happened now do know .

I think any friend will understand how you feel and if you're not ready to see the baby just yet. But don't feel guilty, nothing about this is your fault. As this goes on I'm learning that it's all about self preservation. You need to do whatever it takes to stay in tact at the moment. People will understand that. x

Thanks gwendoline i got through ok in the end yesterday but haven't heard from my friend or her partner. We have known each other for years as our mums were pregnant together and we were born 2 weeks apart.
I see something on facebook about an hour ago that her niece posted about the baby having finally arrived but i've not had any calls yet. I have had a mixture of emotions since i read it and feel quite upset but i'm sure this is all normal.
I am so sorry for your loss, i would of been 11 weeks now. How are you doing today?