Need encouragement post ectopic

[Officerswife]

Initially put this in the conception section but think probably better placed here...

Had a fairly traumatic week this week. Found out on tuesday that I had an ectopic pregnancy - had surgery and they removed my right fallopian tube. Am ok and recovering well - docs assured me that future conception shouldn't be affected as the other tube and all other bits healthy but I can't quite believe them - how can that possibly be the case when I'm a tube down?! I have a beautiful little boy and am so thankful for him but feeling quite low about the future as we really do want more children. Feel like I've let my husband down although he's being brilliant and assures me I haven't.

Anyone have any positive experiences post ectopic that might cheer me up? :(

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It really is very early on, and you will have a lot of emotions to work through as well as the physical healing. I was signed off work for 6weeks when I had my ectopic (also ended up with removing my right tube), I couldn't understand why it was so long to start with - but I was a really tearful mess for a while (I remember sitting at my DDs halloween party with tears flowing down my face, watching the children playing with their siblings).

Don't blame yourself, your DH is right - you haven't let him down. In fact he was probably very scared at the idea of losing you, and will be relieved that you are recovering.

My story has a happy ending, as I now have a 2.5yo DS. However, that was after IVF as investigations showed that my left tube was knackered due to endometriosis. I know of other mums who had subsequent children without the need for any more intervention though - and I'm sure some will be along with their stories too.

Hi there, i am so sorry for your loss. I too had an ectopic in my right tube just 4 weeks ago. I have chosen not to try for anymore as i have now lost 5 babies but am very blessed with children. But i had to comment on your post. I have a close friend who had an ectopic pregnancy due to the coil 2 years ago. She also lost her tube but just a few months later she fell pregnant with twins and went on to have 2 boys so there is hope.
I know you are probably feeling very down right now and feel there is no hope but i have to say i have read lots of stories of women that have gone on to have healthy babies after ectopic pregnancy. I hope this does give you some hope. All the best for the future.

Can I recommend you take a look at the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust forums? There is lots of advice there and a ton of inspiration from amazing women.

You may only have one tube now, but the eggs will just use that tube instead - and as it's a good healthy one your chances are brilliant. The body is an amazing thing.

The best story I know to demonstrate this is this one in The Guardian. The woman lost her left ovary and right fallopian tube, so her working ovary and working tube were on the wrong side. And she got pregnant again. Naturally. The working tube sort of whips round and lassoes the egg. Absolutely amazing, and you have two of those ovaries, so look how good your chances are already!

Do hop over to EPT and check out the support there, I found it an absolute lifeline.

Thank you Muser. That's really helpful. What an amazing story too - made me well up, although not much doesn't at the moment!x

the thing is, the tubes and the eggs have a chemical connection, it's not just coincidence that they find each other, they want to... iykwim? they are attracted to each other.

i've had two eps, i cannot under-state how devastated i was at the time, they were my first two pregnancies and it was awful. the ept website is fantastic and the woman who runs it, izzie, is a truly caring and gifted woman.

however, the good news. both of mine were on my right side, and when i got rid of my right tube (metho for first ep, lap for second) i went on to have two lovely girls, everything fine. they can tell, when you go for the first fraught scans, where you have ov'd from, and i know in both cases i ov'd from my right and the eggs MUST have been picked up on my left.

so it is devastating, and you will grieve, but i promise that the relationship between egg and tube is not as simple as right goes to right etc. that bit i know.

Hi i also felt lead to post-
i had a ept in 2006 never knew much about it prior to this for have had 2 healthy babies! so when i then started having abdo pains - found out i was in early stages of ept as seen on the examination - was totally dazed - I didnt have tubes removed as it was caught early and after a injection it passed through by itself - since then i was obsessed with having another child,got a opportunity to have 2 boys on SGO and just as was adapting to this got pregnant jan 2010 - with my 1st boy he is my miracle and im overjoyed!
I do believe in miracles and the wonders of life and i do believe in hope and nature has a way of doing event he most impossible, possible - Please dont give up hope,it will all work out!

Oh that's such good news - you do getting lulled into a false sense of security when you've had one healthy pregnancy which was fairly quickly conceived as you assume you have no problems and all will be ok in the future. I am very lucky that I have my son and if that's all we are blessed with then I know that I am still the luckiest person - I guess though when you know there might be a problem getting pregnant again you become all the more consumed by it and convince yourself that it's going to be difficult.

I am starting to feel a lot more positive, and I think that what is meant to be is meant to be, and I can obsess over statistics but they aren't going to help me as I will either fall within the pattern or I won't, regardless of what happens to "most women". I do know that the odds are on my side though now.

wonderful way to see you feeling more positive and yes please dont obsess on it!( it doesnt help)
all the best xxx

do pop onto the EPT boards - they are real life savers (quite literally!)

my ectopic was my first pregnancy, and it was a dreadful time for me. it was in my left tube, which was repaired (which in itself can carry a higher repeat ectopic rate, due to the damage/scar on the tube)

I now have 2 dds, which at one point I never though ws possible.

it can be a slow road - it is a deeply traumatic thing to go through, with a lot of emotions to work through.

So sorry for your loss, having been through it myself 18 months ago, I can totally understand that you have a lot of questions (and emotions) at this stage. I found the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust forums very helpful.

Although DH and I had decided to start trying for a baby, I had no idea that I was actually pregnant. The entire thing was a huge shock - from the initial horrendous pain, collapsing and then being taken to hosp, being told I was pregnant, then surgery....

I had a ruptured tube, which was removed with surgery. Physically, I recovered quickly but, mentally/emotionally, I found it tough.

I, too, had lots of anxieties and worries about future fertility. But, just 3 months after deciding to start again, I fell pregnant. I'm now 8 weeks pg, and the baby is definitely growing in the right place too, which I am thrilled about.

After an ectopic pregnancy, you can get early scans at the early pg unit at hospital. Mine was able to fit me in very quickly after a positive preg test, so much so that the first scan saw nothing! This will confirm that everything is in the right place, and put your mind at rest.

For now though, my main advice would be to try and be kind to yourself and look after yourself. Although they told me that I'd had major abdominal surgery, I did physically recover very quickly. Because of this, I probably went back to normal life a bit too quickly. Really, I needed more time to recover emotionally to come to terms with what had happened.

But, it's definitely possibly to conceive again, so please don't lose heart. (As others have said, the tube can pick up the egg from the opposite side). You've been through a lot, so, for now, please focus on looking after yourself. And, talk to your DH too, so that you don't feel alone.

Thanks Saffra. It is so encouraging to see so many people have come out the other side! I am making a good recovery physically - have had to really with a 10 month old to chase around after.

I didn't know I was pg either until about 2 days before I had the op, but by that point I knew something wasn't right as I had already been bleeding for several days- I'd had a period 3 weeks previously too, which I now know can't have been a true period as the pg was about 6 weeks on which wouldn't have fitted in with the dates at all. All very confusing, and it was only because my husband had just gone away (army) that I was feeling over anxious because I didn't want anything to happen whilst I was on my own with my son. I thought they would tell me I was miscarrying so it's lucky I did get it checked and was able to leave my son with a friend - the alternative doesn't really bear thinking about!

My husband's been fantastic - they flew him home so he was there the next day which was brilliant - and I think we'll wait a while before we try again.

Yes, I had odd bleeding too with mine, but I brushed it out of my mind. (I'd never been pregnant before so ignored this - along with sore boobs and being sick after a night out drinking!).

Glad that your husband is being so great - that does helps a lot.

x

Hi officerswife - I commented on your other thread. Glad to hear your physical recovery is going well. I echo others who have said the mental/emotional side can take a lot longer.

By the way, I posted that I'd had a chemical pregnancy last week. However, I've had no bleeding and am still getting +ve hpts and symptoms. So I'm now a bit about the diagnosis. You never know!

Fingers crossed for you! On what basis did they diagnose a chemical pregnancy if you are still getting positive tests? Have you been back to GP?

They messed up the scan appointment, insisting I come in at 4 weeks. Then looked at me as if I was crazy when I turned up at 4 weeks because it was so early.

Then saw nothing on scan and did pregnancy test using v v v dilute sample (had been drinking loads of water to fill bladder for scan). The test was negative, so they announced it must be chemical.

I later noticed on the notes, they had written 'test +ve' but then scribbled out the +ve and replaced with -ve.

I've made an appt with GP on Tues to see what they advise. I'm just dreading going back and being treated like a silly little girl who thinks she's pregnant again.

Tis a saga - sorry for hijack. More hugs to you btw.

I very much doubt they will treat you like that, particularly if you have been getting +ve tests. The GPs often don't even bother re testing you if you've had +ve home tests as often the home ones are more sensitive than theirs. If the lines on your +ve tests are getting stronger rather than just a very faint line that isn't getting stronger over time or is fading, then I'd say it was a pretty safe bet that you are pg.:) Do a test on the morning of your appointment and take it with you to show them. Fingers crossed for you but the signs are good...

xxx

I feel a bit bad that you're comforting and encouraging me on your thread, but thanks . I think I'll do that and take a test in with me on Tues.

Now, back to you - I hope you're resting up and have people around you to help out for at least a few weeks?

One other thing I noticed was excruciating ovulation pain in my next cycle. I haven't heard anyone else mention this but mine was so bad I was worried they'd missed something in there, so ended up back at the hospital. I was fine though and they let me go again when I diagnosed myself with ov pains (they had no idea).

Don't be silly - am feeling a lot better now and have decided to wait a while before we try again. my son is only 10 months so to be honest we were trying again pretty early. Am feeling quite positive about the future and have had amazing support from my husband and family and friends so it's all good :)

Despite everything I've been through I can't help but be excited when other people are having babies as I know how amazing it is so I genuinely really hope all goes ok for you! Plus if all is well for you then it's a +ve sign for me for the future I suppose!

Will bear that in mind re ovulation - I try to keep a track of my ovulation times in general with test stick things, as I have a ridiculously irregular cycle so I like to keep tabs on what's happening so will see if that happens with me - thanks for the heads up.

Let me know how you get on!

Hi,
I had an ectopic pregnancy 5 years ago now and had my right tube removed. I was then told I wasnt ovulating, so didnt hold out much hope for having a baby naturally.
I now have a healthy 7 month old daughter, who was concieved naturally (I hadnt been trying for a baby all that time and it was a bit of a surprise pregnancy!)
I have been told that my story is a great one to share as I ovulated from the side with no tube and somehow everything came together at the right time, so it can happen!
Good Luck!

Great news onion196. Just goes to show how amazing our bodies are and if it's meant to happen it will!x

@utalkingtome - all the best we love miracles here, you never know, hope is there!
i love hearing about miracle babies - it will be great story to tell them when older and understand it all xx
when my 1st period happened after i was happy for things were returning to normal was told it could be months for body was still adapting but came quite quickly! loads of hugs and positive vibes - mother nature works things out

Hi and sorry for your loss. I understand the pain and emotions you must be going through right now. Just wanted to share another positive story...I had EP in 2007, left tube removed, and now have healthy 2 year old DD and and pg again with number 2. :) Wishing you a good recovery and a healthy future pregnancy! :)

I'm so sorry to read about what happened to you. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2002. I had to have major abdominal surgery to remove the pregnancy and one of my fallopian tubes. It was a huge shock to me as I had never been ill before and had previously given birth to two healthy daughters with no problems in either pregnancy.
I don't know why but I never dwelled on the lost pregnancy as I was able to rationalise that an ectopic pregnancy can NEVER be successful. I did dwell on the fact that I could have died and never seen my lovely daughters again and they could have had no mum. This made me feel more grateful than ever for my life, my kids and the skill and care of the medical profession.
I always knew I would love to have more children but if I didn't have more - c'est la vie - I should be thankful for 2 wonderful kids.
At Christmas 2007 I told my husband I was ready to try for a baby, and by May 2008 I had a positive pregnancy test. I was scared of what might go wrong. I gave birth to my son in January 2009 and he is perfect.
I wish you and your family all the best for the future.

Hi, I have had an embryonic miscarriage, and ectopic where I also lost a fallopian tube, and then went on to quite quickly and rather suprisingly conceive my little boy who is now five. So - I have two children, have had a few miscarriages, now have one fallopian tube, but am thinking of a third baby.

There is no reason why you shouldn't conceive with one tube, after all the tubes take it in turn to release an egg normally......? I think! lol

In fact, I had less problems conceiving timewise after the ectopic than I did before.

Good Luck,

P
x

Hi Officerswife. Try not to worry. I had an ectopic, tube and ovary removed - other tube apparently blocked so had the ink down it (cant remember what that is called now). We were living in the USA at the time and I had the 'top man' at the Texas Medical Centre saying I was unlikely to have any more after my 2 pre-ectopic daughters.

I went on to have 5 more, including twins at the age of 41. They are all beautiful. 4 girls and 3 boys and as right as rain - in fact one of them is now a doctor and has delivered loads of babies herself. So yah boo Mr Medical Expert!