Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Flip

Original poster

Miscarried this morning at 11 weeks...

12 replies

sydenhamhiller · 25/01/2011 20:07

I miscarried this morning, was 11 wks and 6 days. my 3rd pregnancy, both dc very healthy pregnancies, as this was...all bit of a shock. As 38, whole focus was on nuchal scan this time, had not told anyone, just dh and me.
I childmind, so had to cancel this morning, at short notice, felt I had to be honest about why. Now feel indecisive- do I tell other people? fellow school run mums kindly asked husband how I was... Am not ashamed of miscarriage, more I don't want to make people uncomfortable... I feel nutsfor even worrying about this after the past 12 hrs...
Any reassurance welcome. And my heart goes out to anyone else who has experienced this.

OP posts:

GwendolineMaryLacey · 25/01/2011 20:11

I'm so sorry :( I just miscarried too, also at 11 weeks although baby had died at 6 weeks.

I know exactly how you feel. I had to tell someone at work to explain my absence so told my lovely ex boss. She passed the message on to new boss but I know everyone was in the office when she took the call. So when I go back next week my (also lovely) colleagues will be shuffling their feet and looking at the floor and I'll hate that. I can live with people knowing what's happened but I don't want the awkwardness.

Sorry I can't reassure you it's too early yet for me but someone else will be able to. x

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 25/01/2011 20:12

I'm really sorry to hear your sad news. I found that when I did tell people there was on overwhlming wave of support and many many people opened up and shared their own losses with me. I was teaching at the time of my miscarriage and ectopic and the headteacher and I had an amazing conversation when she told me of the child she lost 30 years earlier. If you feel up for it then tell people but if you don't then you have every right to keep it private. Be kind to yourself, it's a horrible thing and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Hugs.

Theantsgomarching · 25/01/2011 20:14

I have no real advise but had to say how truly sorry I am

PercyPigPie · 25/01/2011 20:15

I'm so sorry. How cruel of nature for you to be so close to the 12 week mark (that's when I usually relax a little). Take care- miscarriage is horrible

catinthehat2 · 25/01/2011 20:23

Poor old thing. it shakes you up.
You may be surprised how many people have actually gone through it, or male colleagues/friends whose OHs have been through the mill.
I know I was surprised - I really thought it was dreadfully unusual.

Original poster

sydenhamhiller · 25/01/2011 20:24

Thanks everyone, love this forum, the support and best wishes really does make me feel better.

OP posts:

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 25/01/2011 20:51

I also miscarried at 11 weeks (should have had my 12 week scan yesterday) and because it was my second pregnancy (1t was also M/c) in 9 months we decided to keep it as quiet as possible. Only immediate family and my boss knew. It was my first day back at work on Thursday last week and I found it very difficult, mainly because people did not know why I was off and carrying on as normal, laughing off was it a case of man flu etc etc. And today, they were all talking about babies and who they expect to be next, which I just kept my head down to. Although,I wouldnt expect people to tip-toe around me if they knew, I'd imagine this morning's conversation may not have happened. I'm so sorry that you are going through this x

NewImprovedJollster · 25/01/2011 20:54

So sorry :(

I hardly told anyone first time round. Now I've had 3MMC in the last 18 months, I'm a bit more open, as I get more of the "are you having more DC" qs. And also I feel it's nothing to be ashamed of, and MC tends to get brushed under the carpet a bit?

Hope your recovery goes well, and give your DCs a big extra squeeze.

NewImprovedJollster · 25/01/2011 20:56

XP with ifatfirst, sorry you're going through this too :(

Original poster

sydenhamhiller · 25/01/2011 21:11

Sorry to everyone who has gone thru same thing and thnx for sharing your experiences.
I know it makes no difference... And lovely doctor scanning today said very kind things... But somehow feel sooooo cheated to have got so close to the perceived 'safety' zone of 12 wks and my scan on Friday. Have been very very nauseous... And totally believed that was a sign everything was fine...
Sorry, don't mean to rant. I know I am very lucky to have my lovely healthy 4 and 6 yr old.

OP posts:

NewImprovedJollster · 25/01/2011 21:20

syd, I know what you mean, my first was scan at 12+6, second scan at 11, third scan at 12. All babies were between 9 and 11+6 weeks size. It seems cruel.

But since I have learned more about MC and "met" more women who have MC after 12 weeks, or have had still births, and some who have yet to have any DCs, I sort of feel lucky :(

Decaff · 25/01/2011 21:42

So sorry for your loss Sydenham. I had a very similar experience - had a MC in Aug 2009 and was 11+5. We had had a perfect scan the night before and I was also suffering from hyperemesis so had ridiculously strong PG symptoms.

I felt shocked too as all the 'good' signs were there. It will get easier and I agree with the others in that the people we told were very supportive and it is amazing how many people have a story to share. Often understanding and empathy comes from the most surprising places.

I unfortunately have just had my second MC and I think i was just as shocked this time - maybe even more so. Mother Nature can be very cruel sometimes.

Take care of yourself and expect to have good and bad days. Hormones will take their toll on you for a little while but it will get easier.

Flip