Were there signs that I was about to mc? (long post sorry!!)

[Collie2]

I mc in late Dec, and was told just over a week earlier at a routine 12 week scan that my baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 9½ wks. The hospital regarded this as a mmc as they had me down as being just over 12 weeks. However, I have a long cycle (40-41 days), so I always knew my dates were behind, but the midwife wouldn?t change these as they date from your first day of last period, and work on an average 28 day cycle.

My dates would have actually made me just over 10 weeks when I went for my scan (Monday 20th Dec) meaning the baby had actually died just a few days before.

The reason I am posting is that on the Weds night before my scan, I didn't sleep at all. I lay in bed with my heart pounding really hard and fast, I was extremely dehydrated and just generally felt awful. In fact, in the middle of the night I got up to have a bath to try to calm my body down and to hopefully help me get to sleep. I then also ended up having the next 2 days of work sick. I was exhausted from having not slept the night before, but it was more that that. Although I wasn't 'sick' as such I just felt generally awful and absolutely wiped out. I spent most of the 2 days sleeping.

I can't remember exactly when, I think it was the Friday, that I commented that I had stopped feeling nauseous. This must have triggered something in me because I googled loss of morning sickness and read that it could be a sign of mc, but then also that it could be not, so I thought nothing more of it. By the Sunday I was much better and fully recovered from the Weds episode. In fact, I commented (with hindsight sadly) that I felt 'the best I had in ages - back to normal in fact'.

At no point did I have any spotting or bleeding as an indication that I was about to mc.

I can't help but keep thinking back to that Wednesday night and the few days that followed and wonder if that was when my baby had died. I want to know if they were the signs. I know its absolutely pointless in the sense that there would have been nothing I could have done, but its just something I want to understand and know. Perhaps at least so I know what the signs might be if I am unfortunate to mc again in the future so it won't be so much of a devastating shock.

Can anyone else recall having any similar experiences or signs? Or is this just a coincidence???

so sorry to read your post...

have had 3 MMCs, all detected around 12 weeks, all babies reached between 9-12 weeks.

1st one was an absolute shock, had NO idea (this was at 12+6, baby died at 11+6)
2nd one I started to feel very anxious and had a tiny amount of coloured CM, scanned at 11 weeks, baby died at 9.

But the 3rd was the most similar to your scenario. I woke up the morning I was 10+2, with the oddest sense that I wasn't pg any more. It was the first thought that came into my head, and it was a total mental/physical/emotional certainty. So much so that I phoned EPU and asked for a scan, they wouldn't. So went for my scheduled scan at 12 weeks and baby had died at 10+1...

So what am I saying? I think a lot of the time you can convince yourself of things, BUT I think sometimes you know your body.

Am sorry for your loss :(

I've just had a mmc, baby died at 6w, 5w ago so the week before Christmas. I had a chest infection and pneumonia from November till earlier this month and one weekend in particular I got a lot worse and ended up in A&E. I would have been 6w 3d on that day. I'm convinced that was when it happened.

NewImprovedJollster I am so so sorry for your 3 losses.

Your instinct in your 3rd mc is unbelievable. That?s really sad that they wouldn?t scan you and you had to wait all that time. I understand that mc are common and feared mc more so, but I despair at how the nhs and some staff lack understanding in these circumstances. 2 weeks of waiting must have been torturous.

GwendolineMaryLacey I am so sorry for you loss also, and coupled with having been so unwell.

This mc was my first and in my first pregnancy so its only with hindsight that I?ve started to think maybe I knew. My husband has reminded me since that I commented a few times that ?I hoped I was still pregnant? and even though I had pushed those horrid thoughts to the back of my mind and felt shocked to the core when the sonographer told us the sad news, the first thing out of my mouth ? after a huge sob ? ?was I knew it?. Did I?

Its funny as some people are really ?in tune? with their bodies but I?ve never been one of them. When I made my appointment with my GP because I was pregnant I asked if I needed a test, she said no the home tests were very accurate, but then asked ? do you feel pregnant? I had no idea, but I knew the answer was supposed to be yes.

I think you can sometimes convince yourself of things, but maybe your right. Maybe next time I?ll listen to my instincts more. It?s both saddening and yet comforting to know when it happened.

I hope a healthy pregnancy happens for you both soon xxx

Collie so sorry for your loss.

I suffered a mmc at 11 weeks (baby had died two weeks earlier) and like you once I had recovered physically I started to think about when it might have happened and whether I should/could/did know. It was hard knowing I had carried my dead baby for two weeks without knowing. Surely my body had given me a signal.

The placenta takes over at 10 weeks ish so lots of people start feeling better around then and it doesn't mean anything. And some lucky people don't really get any symptoms at all. Every pregnancy is different.

I guess the reason I'm saying this is that whilst sometimes you can trust your body, other times I don't think you can especially with pregnancy. My second pregnancy was very stressful in the first trimester because I kept looking for signs that things were going wrong. Symptoms come and go, even for days at a time - the pregnancy boards are full of threads from women worrying.

A mmc is so hard - I ended up not trusting my body second time round.

Good luck for the future.

crochetcircle thanks for your post. I'm thinking about what might or might not have happened a lot less now. I understand completely what you are saying about every pregnancy being different and miss reading and stressing about every twinge. my mc was my first pg and I was so happily naive about everything. I hope if when (positivity) i get pg again i can at least try and relax and not worry about everything. I have a feeling i won't enjoy the first 12 weeks at all though.

Wishing you all the best too xx