Jaguar I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. FWIW I think your feelings are perfectly normal. It's still very early days for you in terms of grieving your loss and, much like you, my experience of mc dragged on and on which makes it that much harder to get closure on it and begin to move on.
I have had a similar experience, but not with someone as close as a sister. MY SIL, best friend and a lot of other friends (it felt like practically everyone I had ever met at one point - including people who either didn't want a child, or had just got lucky on the first try! Grrrr) got pregnant either during my neverending mc, or in the months following it. Some of them were due at a very similar time to me, which was very hard - but most hard when it was people I couldn't avoid. Unfortunately, my mc rendered me infertile, so I was also in the throes of fertility testing when I had to hear a lot of announcements.
I can fully understand why having to deal with a pregnancy so close to you is somewhat agonising at this point. I found it far more bearable when I could steer clear of baby bumps and newborns, but I can see how that would be hard in your situation. My SIL was less than tactful and there were various occasions where I felt like jamming sharp, pointy things into her eyes!
Perhaps the best thing to do is to talk openly with your sister about your feelings. Tell her you are happy for her on some level, but that it's hard to be genuinely enthusiastic for her right now because you're struggling with your own grief. I'm sure she'll understand. I suspect she asked your Mum to pass on her news out of sensitivity rather than trying to upset you further, but people can't do right for doing wrong in these situations. If you feel brave enough, share with her your feelings of anger and resentment and let her know that it is the pregnancy that you find hard to deal with and not her. Deep down, I think we are all far more angry about the situation than we are with the person when something like this happens and it's often harder to deal with, the closer you are to the person involved.
At the end of the day, she has done nothing wrong and, although I know from experience that you need someone or something to blame, it doesn't make your own loss any less difficult to deal with. I'm sure, in time, you will feel less angry about this, but it is not a bad thing to acknowledge these feelings and work through them. It's a natural part of the grief process and you're perfectly entitled to rant and rave about the injustice of it all because it is bloody unfair. Funnily enough, I've always felt better when baby bumps become babies. Then it becomes just another Mum with another child as opposed to a pregnant person showing off the bump that you should have too.
Not entirely sure this will be remotely helpful right now but, after 2 years of trying and 18 months of infertility, I have finally fallen pg again. I still get irrationally angry when I see friends who have children with the closer age gap that I wanted between my own - and I still find it hard to be around other pregnant ladies sometimes, but time has been a great healer and I hope you get what you sorely deserve soon. In the meantime, please feel free to rant all you like. You are not bitter and horrible, just understandably upset. xxx