Ladies,
I wanted to write this down for anyone who wondered what it was like to choose natural delivery (also called Expectant management).
I have read a few threads which talk about how awful it was and I just wanted to give my perspective.
I had a scan at 11wks as I had some bleeding but wasn't expecting to be told that my baby had died at 8 wks! I have a DS (1yr).
They were lovely at the hospital and I was given all the choices.
I opted for natural as that's my way with most things. I trusted my body through my first pregnancy and I wanted to understand what was going on myself. I also thought it might give me the best chance of getting back on track asap (this isn't true) but I figured that my body is pretty clever and I should leave it to it.
So I week later nothing but more bleeding. I was over the shock but not the injustice of the whole thing. I called the hospital and said that I wasn't sure I could wait much longer. They were very supportive and persuaded me that 12wks is often the time your body reacts.
Sure enough at 12+1 I woke at 5am with cramps like labour (not contractions, but my cervix was opening). I took painkillers and lay in bed as long as I could. By 6am I was sitting on the loo, unable to really go anywhere as I was bleeding heavily. I think the pain was coming in waves so I tried to breathe through it.
Soon after that, my waters broke. It felt exactly like last time, only less water. It was oddly reassuring as I knew then it was like labour and not something to rush to A&E with.
After that I passed some large piece of tissue. About the size of a walnut. Three that I counted but there could have been more. I didn't see the baby. I don't know how I would have felt about that.
By about 7am the bleeding had calmed down enough for me to get off the loo! I just wanted to go back to bed, shocked and tired.
I slept for an hour or so (or tried, while my son tried to jump all over me) and then I felt well enough to get up.
I was a zombie that day. I wanted to tell everyone what had happened, but obviously I couldn't as they didn't know.
Anyway. It wasn't fun. It wasn't nearly as bad as giving birth the first time (especially if you can understand what's going on) and it was over a lot faster than I expected.
I haven't had the final scan to say that it has all gone away so I can't 100% say that it is over. But it feels like it is, I feel good and I feel like my body did what it had to.
It's not for everyone. The wait was the worst thing, and not knowing what to expect (which is why I wanted to post this). My DH didn't really know what to do with himself but I think it helped that he's experienced a labour first.
I don't deny that it might be painful and scary for some ladies and it's impossible to tell. But I do feel like I can draw a line under it now and move on, which is what I wanted all along. But I am glad I held out as I think I still trust my body and that should help me not feel scared when I start TTC again.
If you're reading this and trying to decide, I am sorry that you have to decide at all, but I hope you can get some comfort from it.