how to cope with others being pregnant

[annbenoli]

how can I cope with others having babies or being pregnant. I miscarried in October at 10 1/2 weeks and I have 3 dc. When someone I know is preg or gives birth i just cant stop thinking about it. And inbetween I just go over and over in my mind my 3 dc births. We will not be trying agin as husband doesnt want to but how can i stop thinking about pregnancy?

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Last year I had a late termination at 20 weeks due to a lethal condition followed by a mc at 8 weeks. I have one ds and this happened around the time all of my friends were having their 2nd babies. I'm still battling with it all a bit but here are some suggestions:
Have you talked to anyone about how you feel? A counsellor at your hospital? They might give you some coping techniques.
Be selective about the company you keep. If you think spending time with someone who is pregnant or who has a newborn will upset you, don't do it, and don't feel bad about not doing it.
I find this one hard but I really try to not compare myself to others. I don't know what their lives are like or problems they might be having. Try to concentrate on your life and your family and make that as good as it can be.
Following on from that I have a mantra I repeat to myself at times 'love what you have, not what you want'.
I do have quite obsessive thought tendencies and have bought a book called something like 'women who think too much'. It's only just arrived and I haven't started reading it yet, but it might be worth a look if you find that kind of thing helps.
Plan something nice for yourself around significant dates (20 week scan, due date) so that you have something to look forward to.
Before you go to sleep write down three good things that have happened to you that day. Just something as little as a dc saying they love you. I just find it helps me keep focused on what's good in my life.

Sorry, I meant to edit that before posting but my phone did something funny. Anyway, I'm still struggling but a combination of all the things above have helped me muddle through and of course time does make things a little easier x

I think that you maybe have 2 issues, rather than 1.

1. Your miscarriage triggering pain re other people being pg/giving birth.

2. The fact that you and your DH don't seem to agree on whether your family is complete - but also triggering difficulties when other people are pg/giving birth.

Not sure that's of much help.

Yes I know, def two issues, but if you don't agree then you have to agree not to have a baby surely? Don't think I am alone in this though lots of my friends would love another one but husband says no.

i kow exactly what you mean i am suffering a miscarrage after a D&C i have lost 2 babies this year and have spent 7 months pregnant with nothing but loss/ pain a nd suffering. I have been to a counsellor which helped, but you cannot escape peoples pregnancies it just sets you babck bigtime. Just take every day at a time.