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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

If you're about to mc, do you "cancel Christmas?"

6 replies

herewego1 · 23/12/2010 14:07

Will try not to just splurge this all out.
Sadly realised my 3rd pregnancy this year wasn't going well about a week ago, had pain and light spotting which stopped quickly.
Had a scan yesterday and was as prepared as you can be for bad news, even had my bag packed for an ERPC. Well it was still bad news, just more complicated - a baby there, with hb, but smaller than it should be and the hb was "very slow".
I know regarding this I just have to wait and see, and try not to let too much hope creep back in, but my question is more practical - if you were in this situation, would you carry on with Christmas plans?
I'm due to travel to see family on Boxing day, would be away almost a week (Ireland) transport probably not too bad but would you risk mc while away from home? Will feel so bad if I cancel, DM on her own etc. And DD really wanting to see her. So far, no-one other than DH knows what's happening. Will I put the baby at greater risk from travel?
Sorry this is long, thank you for reading.

OP posts:
chabbychic · 23/12/2010 14:09

So sorry to hear this. Nothing you do will change what's going to happen. Wish you all the best, I would still go, just take things you might need if it does happen.

KTDace · 23/12/2010 15:37

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, I had a MC the week before Christmas last year and it was just awful. By Christmas day my bleeding and pain was not so bad so I did go through with our plans and it was ok.

I also had a MC in the summer, I found out that the HB had stopped at 10 weeks, I was going on holiday in the UK just over a week later and decided to go. I started to MC on holiday, it was awful. I just wanted to be at home in my bed with my bathroom. I found the 5 hr drive back uncomfortable as I was still having contraction like pains and passing clots.

I don't know whether you will put the baby at greater risk by going though , what does your EPU say?

I am assuming you are flying? Personally I would not want to be bleeding and traveling on public transport because of the mess IYSWIM.

I am so very sorry you are going through this and I really hope everything is ok. xx

kat2504 · 23/12/2010 15:52

I personally would not want to mc away from home. During mine, a few days after the op, I visited friends for a special ocassion on the afternoon. Was still passing clots and ended up spending 15 mins cleaning up a bloodbath in the bathroom.
If it's family though you may feel ok about it. Also you may not miscarry yet it isn't unusual for it to take weeks. Presume you will have a follow up scan to confirm? If you do travel, tell your mum so she can be supportive. If you don't want to go font worry about letting people down as you need to look after yourself at the moment.

MrsP78 · 23/12/2010 16:44

I started to MC around this time last year and elected to have an ERPC, but they couldn't fit me in due to Christmas so I had to start to miscarry naturally.

We were due to go to my in-laws for Christmas and decided to go anyway. We told them what was going on and they were really supportive, which was great. It also meant I didn;t have to do anything and could just relax whilst someone else took control of CHristmas. I was in a lot of pain on CHristmas day and was passing clots but there were plenty of people to look after me and my MIL made sure I was comfortable.

Journey there and back was OK, but I was only an hour from home and we were travelling by car, I don't think we would've gone if we'd had to go by train.

Here's hoping your little bean hangs on.

Mrs P xx

Besom · 23/12/2010 16:54

So sorry to hear about this. I've had two mc's this year and went on holiday abroad in the middle of the second one. It wasn't ideal but I also have a dd and watching her enjoying herself did help, and I did manage to enjoy myself at times as well.

I agree that going away won't change the outcome. It all depends if you feel emotionally up to it or would prefer to stay at home. Do what is best for you, really, and everyone else will cope.

herewego1 · 23/12/2010 20:55

Many thanks for all the replies. Have had a conversation with my mum which centred on the snow, so on that basis alone might be cancelling. Reading the replies made me realise how far I moved in my head from waiting for inevitable mc, to hoping against hope that it might work out - which may well lead to even more grief, but what can I do?
Thank you for sharing your experiences with me.

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