I'm so sorry Bibitwo.
I had this with my first pregnancy at almost exactly the same timings as you and lost my first 'baby'. It was rather tough and more so than it needed to be. I'll tell you my story ... perhaps you can avoid my pitfalls ... though of course everyone will have a different experience ... This might be blunt so feel free not to read it ....
I wish I had been more prepared for what happened to me as it was very tough. The hospital told me 'like bad period pains' so I waited then 'labour' kicked in while I was on the tube and I didn't know what had hit me. It was so much stronger than anything period pain so I thought I must have an undiagnosed ectopic or something.
I was taken by ambulance to A&E but wish I had been prepared so I could've stayed at home. They pratically forced me to have pethidine which did nothing for the pain but made me feel sick and unable to re-coup between contractions. Also they didn't want me to drink water or to move around. (I was very thirsty).
I will never forget the rough and careless examination of me carried out by a gynea woman. She actually shouted at me for making too much noise and failing to keep still. I felt weepy thinking about her for years after.
The physical experience was very painful (physically and emotionally) but I believe it really helped me to let go. Though I was down for sometime, I really believe that the actual physical letting go of my baby helped the emotional healing in the long run.
MIne was an awful experience but it paved the way for the three home births ... followed by another miscarriage (this time at home and far easier and less traumatic than the first) ... and then another home birth.
I'm so sorry that you're going to go through this and losing your baby. It's very hard and I found very few people could fully understand what you're going through. I wish I'd known about MN.
In the end my MIL was very good and we went to the river and threw in some pumpkin seeds and said some words and she read a poem and there were tears and we said 'goodby' to the one we had never met. It really helped.
With my second miscarriage (at home) I actually found the sac, put it in a jar, and buried it in the garden and said a proper 'Goodbye'. That was very helpful and I love that I know the exact spot where it went and I see plants growing there.
CAT me if you want. All the very best of luck.
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