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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Third miscarriage - feeling low

23 replies

KatyTR · 27/08/2003 11:43

New to this but feeling really down following third miscarriage. I had two miscarriages one at ten weeks and one at 20 weeks before the birth of my lovely son last year. Was so excited to be pregnant again only to have all hopes dashed at six weeks. I know how lucky I am to have one child but that does not stop me being desperate to have another.

OP posts:
Jenie · 27/08/2003 12:20

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I haven't been through a miscarriage but have a friend who has, all I can do is offer you my deepest sympthy.

The words just don't seem to do justice to what I'm trying to say, sorry.

dot1 · 27/08/2003 13:23

I'm so sorry - I haven't been through this, but just wanted to say hi and how sorry I am. Do you know if there's a particular reason for the miscarriages, or are they going to look into this?

quackers · 27/08/2003 13:31

Really sorry to hear about your losses. I have lost 2 myself. My second was 3 weeks ago. The only thing I can say is that you haven't had them in a row and not belittling at all the 3 losses but medically they won't say it's serious until then. A fabtastic book is Lesley Regans When A Muiscarriage Happens. You can get it on the web site for St Mry's - Recurrent miscarriage clinic. Its a great website and offers some answers,. What has your GP said?

quackers · 27/08/2003 13:32

Oops, trying to eat lunch and type at the same time!
Yes, the book is great and gives real hope and inspiration for miscarriers. The success rates they give are very high so I'm trying to be optimistic. Thinking of you and here for you to talk to as I'm sure many of the mumsnetters are.

jodee · 27/08/2003 13:33

Just wanted to say welcome to Mumsnet, Katy, and so sorry to read your news. I had a m/c last year at 8 wks and 18 months later I'm still trying to get pg again with no joy yet (I also have a son aged 3). No advice really, other than hold onto the fact that you can carry a pregnancy to term as your gorgeous son proves. There's lots of threads on here about trying to conceive [after m/c] if you have a search, maybe you can find some encouragement from others Mumsnetters there. Best wishes, J.

quackers · 27/08/2003 14:38

Hi Jodee, good luck, hope u get lucky soon and anyone else ttc after m/c. You never know wether to wait or not. I waited 3 months but still m/carried and you read of people conceiving and not yet having a period, it's amazing. Doc in hospital told me to wait 6 months but I feel better after this m/c than the first cos it was complete.
Katy, hope u ok. I feel the same, so many poeple say oh well, at least you have dd/dh. It does not make it any easier does it as it is a loss and the little one was an individual and cherished in its own way. I do get comfort from knowing I have had one success and know I can carry to term.Hope u feel that way too. Just is so unlucky and I pray for the day i see aheart beat on the scan again. It will be magical.

jodee · 27/08/2003 19:25

Hi Quacks, thanks! Fingers crossed for you too! J xx

hewlettsdaughter · 27/08/2003 20:06

Hi KatyTR. Really sorry to hear what's happened. Thinking of you, hope you get through this ok.

bunny2 · 27/08/2003 21:08

Katy, you're not alone. Many of us have suffered the pain of miscarriage, sometimes more than one (I, thankfully, have only had the one). Your son proves you can have children so that is a very good sign. After 3 miscarriages you should be having some medical help in establishing the causes. Has this been offered to you?

bluestar · 27/08/2003 22:36

Just wanted to extend my sympathies to you KatyTR. I too had a miscarriage at the beginning of July but from a medical view, dr said to me that as I have previously carried a baby to full term and he is healthy should be no reason that it will not happen again. Unfortunately down to bad luck and fate. Wishing you luck for the future and hope you get some answers.

hana · 28/08/2003 14:12

KatyTR, so so sorry to read your message. I 've had 2 m/cs, the most recent in June at 13 weeks. I'm STILl angry and upset. Logging onto Mumsnet and reading all the positive messages and upbeat 'moving on' posts really does help. My sadness comes and goes as is bad and am thinking of counselling. I really hope you're feeling better and like me, you've already got a little one, not that that makes it easier, but it does help. Will be thinking of you,


wickedstepmother · 28/08/2003 14:40

How awful for you Katy, symapthy

quackers · 28/08/2003 15:44

How are you Katy??
Hana, nice to hear form u again. I had a bad night on Monday. Was so upset and couldn't stop crying, felt I couldn't cope any more and was so wanting my babies. It is getting a little easier, but won't be resolved until I have another. It doesn't help that my first relevant anniversary is coming up. Don't quite know how to deal with it tbh. I suffer most for my first loss as it was so far gone and I saw it. The second I obviously am upset over but there was nothing to see on the scan, or ever a heartbeat, so for me it helps in that way.
Hana, it is still early days and don't be too hard on yourself. Other mumsnetters were so good to me and were there any time of day. I was so distraught for the first few weeks, I couldn't bear to post and when I did it was all tears and upset. It's good to get it all out on here though, it really helps and just knowing there are others in the same situation comforts me a great deal as I know I'm a freak. I'm going back to the Doc's next week as they are going to do some initial hormone checks etc.. to rule out anything there, at least it's a start. LOL xxxxxx

quackers · 28/08/2003 15:46

Should have been 'not' a freak - although I don't know now!! xxx

bebop · 28/08/2003 23:59

Hi I had a m/c start August at 13 weeks, twins, but only the size of 6-7 weeks. We had 4weeks of scans one was growing slightly, the other went down but they could never see the babies. Having all this time gave us time to get used to what was happening, although we tried to be positive. I have an 8 month girl, is it strange I don't want another now? Thinking of you and also letting me put my 'coping face' down. ....bebop

Ghosty · 29/08/2003 02:02

My sympathies go to you all ...Quackers, KatyTR, bepop ... I had an m/c at 12 weeks in November and I don't know if I will ever get over it ... although with time things get easier ....
Thinking of you ..... love ghosty {{{{{}}}}}

quackers · 29/08/2003 08:56

Hi Ghosty, saw 2.02 am and knew it would be you!!! Hope you're well and hope to join u again on pg after m/c soon - well before you deliver anyway!!!
Hello all, hugs xxxx

doormat · 29/08/2003 09:18

I am so sorry Katy.Cyberhugs are coming your way.I had a MC 5 yrs ago at 8weeks.I have never got over it but time has made it easier to cope with.

Hughsie · 29/08/2003 09:45

So sorry to hear your sad news. I had two miscarriages before two sons and know how dreadful it feels even at 6 weeks when my first was. Trt to take comfort from the fact that you do know you can carry a child to full term and keep trying.

it is supposed to be natures way of dealing with what is not meant to be but I know how cruel it feels.

lots of love

Cornflower · 29/08/2003 09:50

Hi Katy TR. You are not alone. I had 2 mcs and then a lovely daughter. I know I may have more mcs as I try for more babies. Best comfort I had was that an mc is a sign of fertility. It was a pregnancy however that was not meant to be. Lots of love. I got pg next month after my last mc.

KatyTR · 03/09/2003 11:00

Thanks for all messages. Mumsnet has helped me feel that I am not alone. Am feeling more positive now.

Has any one else been told to take asprin after m/c. I was advised to take asprin after my second m/c and then went on to have a healthy baby. I was also taking it before this miscarriage. I am now not sure whether to take it again.

OP posts:
quackers · 03/09/2003 11:12

Oh Hi katy!! Grt to hear from u!! Were you told what the benefits were, even if you take it for peace of mind esp after what happened last time and the result u got! I anm now going to someopne to offload all this as my Doc things I'm obsessed and have not been coping v well. R U feeling better about the outlook now??? LOL xxxxx

Ghosty · 03/09/2003 12:20

Thanks for your lovely message quackers ... really hope that you can come back to the thread soon! Thinking of you xxxxxxx

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