early miscarriage, how did you feel.

[Carameli]

I started miscarrying over the weekend, its very early, 6+3 when it all started.
I just feel so awful and have waves of complete sadness and then anger coming over me. I sometimes just cannot stop crying over this but then feel a bit guilty that other go through stuff like this much later than me and if it was so so early why am I letting myself get so upset.

Has anyone else here had a really early miscarriage and felt this bad.

when you fall pregnant you plan for your future.. your babies future... when you loose your baby you need to grieve for all that you've lost. Then there's your hormones that are all over the place....

((( hugs)))

I miscarried at 7 weeks and know the feeling of total loss well. I also had a miscarrieg for a second time in Jan this year at 11 weeks and it doesnt get any easier. Miscarriage is the same at 6 weeks as it is at 15 week in my opinion. The pain and confusion is overwhelming and the only thing i can say to you is talk about it. I found that for a few weeks i was overcome by my feelings but talking about it helped me to get through it. I had some great support from friends and if you want to takl i am here just CAT me.
On a positive note i am currently 26 weeks pregnant, something which i never thought would happen after losing my second baby. I never understood people who told me that it gets easier with time and that it happened for a reason BUt i totally echo this thought to you. You will come through it and you will get a baby when the ti e is right. Just grieve for this baby, no matter what it was still your baby.

sorry I didn't answer your question did I.. Yes I was 11 week and I felt bad... and it was like everywhere I went there were pregnant women everywhere

We now have 2 children, and we still occasionally talk about our other baby

thanks guys, both mine and my dh's family have been so supportive towards us. My mum is coming over again tomorrow to try anf get me out for a bit. I know she is right but just worried about bursting into tears in the street. I just want to get this physical side of it over.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Carameli It doesn't matter when a MC happens, like rummum says, you plan your future so you lose that as well, as a baby.

I was 7 weeks when I had my MC, and I have never felt grief like it. And it is very early days for you, hun, so things will be raw and emotional. I can honestly say I was and still am an emotional wreck (MC 9th August 2005). But you will get there, and it does get easier, slowly but surely.

I know it is very early days and I probably shouldn't be asking this, but do you think you will try again?

When you feel ready, the TTC after miscarriage thread is excellent, even if you're not TTC. I'm not TTC because DH isn't keen on another yet, but the support from the ladies on that thread is invaluable. We have all been through the same, be it early MC or stillbirths, but we look out for one another, and we view everone experience in the same light. We laugh, cry, rant and get up to all sorts, but the main thing is we are there for one another. When you feel up to it, and you fancy it, pop over and join us.

I am thinking of you, Carameli, and send you lots of {{{HUGS}}}. Take care and be kind to yourself xxxx

thanks Coathanger, yes we both really want to try again once we get through this first bit. So I will definitely go over to that thread.
I have no idea yet about how long its best to wait. Have read that if you try to soon there can me an increased risk of miscarriage so want to ask lots more about ttc after something like this. But need to get through the scan next week.

One thing, I was so impressed by St George's hospital Tooting, so caring and sympathetic.

I'm really glad your hospital treated you well. My experience wasn't so positive so you were very lucky.

I think the medical opinion on trying agiain is to wait until after your first AF. But I according to the Miscarriage Association leaflets I recieved, this is only to make working out your due date easier. I would wait until you get your first AF thought, to be safe

Here a link to the TTC after MC thread when you are ready. Why not lurk for a while

i've had an early miscarriage at 7wks and 9 weeks, i woudl advise coming over to the ttc thread too, not everyone is trying to conceive and we have all been through it, you will get lots of advise.

carameli - sorry about my brief message earlier, i was in a rush.
I am so so sorry for your loss, i know how heartnreaking it is to lose your baby, and no matter what stage you're at it is still such a huge part of your life. I know that you will feel empty, exhausted and unbelievably sad.
Nothing anyone says will make you feel any better, but the pain does get easier.
I hope that you and your family have lots of support and you know there is always someone willing to talk on here.
Thinking of you

caramelie - I tried to conceive after my first miscarriage and didn't wait for my first period. I had heard stories from some people who had full term pregnancies when catching straight after a miscarriage and others who had miscarried again. so i thought well if the next pregnancy is not meant to be succesful then it won't be, and if we're not meant to get pregnant away again straight away then we won't. But we did catch again before my 1st period after my miscarriage and lost that pregnancy too only 9 weeks after the first one. It was hell, and with the first one everyone was very sympathetic and caring, but it felt like the 2nd one didn't matter as much, because it was so soon after the first. But i know in my heart that we lost 2 babies and that they'll be keeping one another company somewhere.

phew that was an essay sorry it just kept coming.

Caramelie, I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am. I am currently on the April '06 thread but I pop over to the May thread too and I read your news. I had a miscarriage 9 months ago at around 5-6 weeks and in answer to your question, yes, it is completely normal to feel so bad. It was your baby, your future, and you must be feeling devastated. I can't really offer any advice over and above what other posters have offered, but I am reassured to hear you have lots of support from your mum and no doubt friends and family. That is what got me through our experience.

It took 9 months for me to conceive again and I am currently 10+2. Am still very nervous (hence why I still hover on this board) but trying to be upbeat and positive about things. It's just so damned hard when you bond with your 'bean', even in the early stages.

Best wishes to your and your family, take good care of yourself,

Caramelie - I'm sorry to hear about your M/C. Like others on here, I tried too soon after my first m/c at 11 wks, only to m/c again at only 5 wks. However, one positive thing to come out of the second one was that I realised that I hadn't allowed myself to grieve after the first. I bought myself a book on m/c then spent 3 months crying solidly. It was heartbreaking but it was the right thing for me to do. I wish MN had been available back then. There's always a friend on here.

Good luck & remember, everything you're feeling is completely normal.

I had a very similiar experience to karmamother and fell pregnant again soon after a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. The second miscarriage was only 5 weeks into it but it hit me much harder. With the first one I felt that something wasn't quite right for a while. The second one was so early that I was still in that euphoric phase and it was very hard to take.

Give yourself time to grieve and do whatever you need to feel better. We took a break of about five months and I saw a miscarriage counselor which helped me a lot. She was recommended by the hospital who did my D&C. I'm very happy to say that I'm now 34 weeks pregnant and it all looks fine. Don't give up hope and take care of yourself.

hi carameli, i also lost a baby at around 6 weeks (last feb)
i felt totally devastated, and i think more so because other people who knew (including dp) seemed to think it wasn't such a big deal simply because it was so early.
i often think about my lost baby and what s/he would have been like.

what you're going through is totaly natural

On a more positive note... I ovulated 2 weeks after my mc and I fell pregnant... I knew I was pregnant straight away. The pregnancy did feel different, and I was obviously worried for the early stages.. What I'm trying to say is that try again when it feels right for you..
take care of yourself

yes, miscarried at about 6/7 weeks in January and felt very sad, angry, annoyed etc etc yet also had to put on a brave face for all those people around me! I even had a name picked out and a future planned. Just go with the grief, u will feel better although like me you will probably never forget.

I did continue to try to conceive and got pregnant again very quickly and am expecting soonish. This has made things easier and helped me move on although it is not the answer for everyone.

thanks for all these meesages, they really make me feel good reading them.

I am feeling ok, but feeling really really tired today and a bit light headed. Did anyone else experience this. I am just taking it easy at home and going for short walks as I cannot cope with being indoors all day.
Am I doing any harm by going for walks?

no harm in walks at all carameli... if it makes you feel better then go for it!

I think walking is ideal. I swim a fair bit and, apart from the physical exercise, I feel mentally refreshed and do all my thinking when I swim. I hope walking will provide this for you too. Best wishes Caramelli, take it easy.

Carameli, I get the lightheaded feeling too, I think these are normal. No matter how early your loss, it is still a loss and you have as much right as anyone else to grieve that loss.
Take care
x

Carameli, so sorry for your loss.
How are you today?
Walks will not be a problem. Feeling strange is normal - you have been through a physical and emotional shock.
I miscarried at 5ish weeks last year. I was completely crushed. A loss is a loss is a loss ime/o - we can always compare ourselves to others who are having a 'worse time' but it doesn't diminish our own loss or pain. When I m/c a friend of mine who had had two late m/cs was absolutely wonderful to me - not once did she suggest she had had a worse time (which she obviously had) etc. And if she didn't think like that, neither should you.
I don't know whether you feel ready to hear happy endings, but that same friend is now mother of a 1yo boy and godmother to my 4mo ds . Don't give up hope.

On ttc again: it is considered ok to begin immediately if everything is medically ok and you feel up to it emotionally. Waiting for a period helps with dating in case of a new conception.
We started ttc immediately and it took 3 months to conceive again, resulting in ds.
Good luck.

thanks for your thoughts. I had my second scan during the week and all is fine medically. Am also feeling a little better over it, sometimes when I am tired feel a bit weepy but having a toddler just turning 2 is a great way to keep me busy:-)

I think it also helped that I cried and cried about it during the first week, it was good for me to really cry and get it out of my system.

we are going to keep on try but going to wait a couple of months more just to feel safe about it.