missed miscarriage 11.5 weeks

[mummyls]

hi ladies,
not sure why am posting. just want to share with people who know how I feel i think. I had bit of spotting last week when I was 11.5 weeks pregnant, went for emergency scan and turns out the embryo had stopped growing around 6/7 wks and the fetal sac stopped at around 9.5 weeks. been spotting for nearly a week, just waiting for the miscarriage to happen. I know its just "one of those things"- i am very lucky to have a beautiful 21 month old boy already who I had with no issues at all. Weirdly, i had sickness initially which just disappeared at 9 weeks ish- just as the fetal sac stopped growing.. sould have guessed with hindsight something wrong. didnt think that much of it as had no sickness at all with DS1 so just thought i had got over that bit. I just want the miscarriage to finish so we can get on and try again- feel like that is a heartless thing to say but that's how i feel at the moment. i also just wish i knew sooner as feel like i "wasted" the last 6 weeks thinking i was PG when i wasnt. Will the NHS give an early scan for reassurance next time (if i get pg again- hope so)?

i know this is nowhere near as bad as those poor ladies who lose babies late on and feel desperately sorry for them.

x

hi hun.
Just thawt id msg u. I know roughly how u feel earlier this yr a went for scan at 10weeks only to be told there was no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 7weeks. Felt like my world fell apart at the time and i really feel for u.
I also felt bad at the time for feeling bad...if u know what i mean. but that didnt do me any good either as i didnt really feel i shud grieve, it hit me like a ton of bricks months later. so dont feel bad...grieve as much as u can if u want to hun.
Its good u feel u can write on here just to share ur feelings.
Ive only just joined but already this site has made me feel better and reassured (im pregnant again and terrified of same thing happening)
They did an early scan for me this time becuz of what happened earlier this yr so just make sure with ur midwife next time.
I hope u feel ok soon hun.
massive hugs.
xxxxxx

Hey Kezzipea,

thanks for replying- that's really sweet of you. so sorry this happened to you at 10 weeks. Yes i have only just started looking on mumsnet and i am finding it really good. how many weeks are you now? i guess you just have to keep reminding yourself that it was just pure chance that it happened once and the chances are much more in favour of everything going well than of anything going wrong.

that's really good to know they did an early scan for you- next time i will ask for that.

I'm now off to read DS a bedtime story then for a long bath i think :-)

take care of you and your bump,
xx

Hi mummyls sorry for your loss. I have had something very similar (scan at 10 weeks showed no heartbeat and that baby stopped growing at about 8 - we'd seen heartbeat at about 7 weeks).

so sorry this has happened to you - take gentle care of yourself, hope you will feel better soon, but do give yourself time.

Hi didn't want to just read and run. Very sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I have been there recently too - no heartbeat at 10 weeks. It is truly horrible, especially when you have seen a heartbeat before. There's no need to feel heartless or selfish about wanting it to be over and wanting your body back to normal. There's also no need to feel bad about feeling bad because other women have had it worse. You will feel bad because you are going through a very tough time and it is very upsetting. As hairy rightly says, take good care of yourself and give yourself time. I hope it is all over quickly and without too much pain for you.

thanks hairyfairylights and kat2504. i feel better knowing that others have been through similar and survived to tell the tale so to speak. Having said that I wouldn't wish it on anyone else obviously so am so sorry you went through it. I know in my head that I shouldn't feel guilty about those things kat2504 but having you say it does really help me go some way to accepting it actually.

I am starting to get some mild crapping so hoping it hurrys along soon. have scan on Thursday to see how it is all progressing and for them to decide if they will give me EPRC or continue to let it progress. not sure what is best. will see what they advise I guess.

thanks for your support ladies.

i got offered TP straight away didnt u? xx

Sorry what is TP? no they said that as i had started spotting already my body was already starting to miscarry naturally and they prefer not to intervene if possible. they just booked me in for a scan a week later to check that it was all gone (although doesn't look like it will be at this rate as bleeding lighter than normal period so guessing it's not progressing very quickly..).

ahhh. TP - Termination Pill. Hurries along miscarrying process. but i hadnt started bleeding or anything. maybe that why.
Once mine started it was over space of 3-5 days it happened so it does seem slow process hun.
All the best. xxxxxx

Mine didn't progress by itself and I opted for the ERPC to get it over and done with. It was a simple procedure, obviously traumatic but presumably less painful than the natural route. Not the answer for everyone of course, but I was keen for it to be over with as quickly as possible.

I opted for d & c as I could not cope with the natural option after my first mc and because knowing there was no longer a baby I really needed my body back to normal asap as I still had strong pregnancy symptoms. Don't beat yourself up or feel guilty.

hi mummyls so sorry to hear you are going through this. I went through something very similar in june - a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks, they said the baby had died around 9 weeks.

I miscarried naturally as well. I was glad that I did it naturally, although it was very painful. It was part of the grieving process for me, and although obviously I don't look back on it fondly, it was not the worst part of the experience. I would be prepared by getting some decent painkillers just in case.

you will get through this and come out of the other end. its different for every woman/couple but my advice would be to trust in your emotions and don't deny yourself any feelings or think that anything you are feeling is 'wrong' iykwim.

do let us know how your scan goes or if you have more questions. lots of hugs.

hi ladies,
thanks for all your messages of suport. had the scan today and it seems that not much had changed (ie nothing had really "come out" since they first scanned me last week). So I decided to have a ERPC. They said as it was now 3 weeks since the pregnancy ended and nothing had happened it was becoming less likely my body would do it naturally now.
They fitted me in this afternoon, had the general anaesthetic and procedure and am back home now feeling absolutley fine. I feel better and like i can start to get some closure now.
thanks so much for all your support- it helps so much to know I am not the only one to have gone through it and that you have all come out the oher side :)
xxx

Sorry to hear that. I had a MMC at 13+3 weeks (baby had died at 12+4). I was advised to have an ERPC on grounds that a natural miscarriage at that stage can be both painful and traumatic. I also needed to have an anti-D jab straight after so couldn't really wait for nature to take its course. Also was going on holiday a couple of weeks later and did not want to be miscarrying on holiday. ERPC was fine for me, and I see from your latest post that it was fine for you. You might get some afterpains so keep your painkillers handy.

Sorry this happened to you- it is extremely common alas.

Glad they fitted you in so quickly and you are back home.

Do take gentle care of yourself.