Is a medically managed miscarriage *that* bad?

[Star82]

I am booked in for an ERPC on sunday but have been really unsure what i wanted to do. I don't really want an op so my normal instinct would have been to have the tablet. However, it seems on here and also other forums across the net that people really do not like this form of miscarriage management.
A lot have used words such as horrific etc when describing their experience. It seems it is felt that they endure more pain and increased and prolonged blood loss, than a natural miscarriage and ERPC.
Is this scare mongering or is there soe truth in this?
In case it may affect anything, i should be 8+4 and pregnancy stopped progressing at 6+1 a week ago. I had a further scan today which showed nothing in the sac now so it looks like i may have absorbed the pregnancy. No bleeding/cramping yet.
Thanks for any experiences people are able to share.

Hi, I am sorry for your loss. I am not sure what the medical management would be like at your stage as I was 18 weeks, so didn't have a huge amount of bleeding but did have to deliver the baby, but I had an ERPC after the baby came out and it was absolutely fine, I had light bleeding for 2.5 weeks after, but very little pain, and physically I felt fine pretty much straight away. Good luck in whatever your decide, I am sure it is a hard decision to make. xxx

I think that is the first i have heard someone not say how awful it is. Thanks for replying and i'm really sorry you lost your baby and it being so far into the pregnancy. I have 2 days to mull this over at least. Thanks :) x

Sorry for your loss. My circumstances were almost identical to yours. I didn't want the op either, because I react badly to GA (blood pressure issues)
It wasn't that bad. I had a bit of pain, but nothing I haven't dealt with before.

Although, since having DS, I've had no period pains at all, so that may have been a factor in it not being very painful for me.

I did worry about being upset by feeling the sacs pass out, but in the end, it really didn't bother me. I actually started to miscarry after being given the anti-progesterone, so by the time I was in hospital 2 days later, most of the worst of it had passed.

The bleeding was heavy, and did go on for a longer than a period would, but it did just feel like a heavy period.

I think I would have struggled to deal with it if I had been in more pain than I was. However, I was in hospital, and they checked on me a lot, and always asked if I needed more painkillers, and that reassured me.

Hi there,

My experience was very similar to yours. I opted for the medical management at 9 weeks pregnant but with an embryo measuring 7+4 and have always said I would never do it again.

I was given a pill in hospital (they would not let me leave without taking it - I wasn't allowed to take the pills with me and take them at home) and then had to use pessaries a few hours later/next day (?) at home.

I have to say I found the pains excruciating and was very sick too. The actual miscarriage/passing of the foetus was not painful but the medication caused contractions which were vwry intense and lasted a long time. I bled for around 10 - 14 days.

One thing I think I did 'wrong' was that I took the painkillers they gave me too late and would perhaps have had less pain if I had taken them earlier to give them time to work.

My SIL had a missed miscarriage and decided to wait for it to happen naturally, she said it was less painfiul than my experience but had to wait for a while for it to happen naturally which was hard to deal with.

I am so sorry to hear you have to go through this

hi there, i had a mmc at 8 weeks only 7 weeks ago. I opted to go natural and im not sure why but i suppose i was holding on to that glimmer of hope that all would be ok, and the baby hadnt died.
I wasnt sure what to expect, they advised me to continue to take pain killers when the pain came on. In the end i actually had a mini labour which wasnt nice and wouldnt go through that again if god forbid it ever happens again, but i think everyone experience is different, and everyones body reacts differentlt. I actually miscarried a week after my mmc was diagnosed.
I think you have to go with your gut instinct, sorry if ive frightened you, but just wanted to give u an honest answer. Be kind to yourself and sorry for your loss. X

Sorry for your loss.

I'm currently making the decision about how to manage my MMC - babys heart stopped sometime last week, we think at about ten weeks.

I am angling very much towards D&C as I need it to be over. I definately can't wait weeks for it to start naturally, and after having a very complicated mc earlier this year (they eventuallly injected me with methotrexate as it was either ectopic or too small to see in the womb - so very, very small) I can't face going through a physical miscarriage and the pain/clotting etc that that will inevitably bring (so I'm told)

Last time I bled for about five weeks, and I just can't go through heavy/prolonged bleeding and pain again.

There is no getting away from it, medically managed miscarriage is painful and distressing and this is because you are aware of everything its a minute by minute kick in the guts from the start till the end.

I didnt consider an operation, have had a tablet & pessery and also experienced natural miscarriage.

Horrid horrid horrid but for me, the best way to proceed.

needed morphine, gas & air, codiene based analgesia as the pain was nothing short of labour related and i was always between 7-9 weeks.

Lots of clots, and bleeding, passing of the sac was a marker of the end and relief.

Sounds to me that you have had a blightd ovem which is where there is a sac but no baby, ive had 3 of these so got expert experience unfortunately.

You do what feel right for you, but with support of the health professionals to manage your pain and symptoms.

ps i knew at 7 weeks there was no baby, no bleeding and very strong pregnancy symptoms through out, but didnt mc till i was 13 weeks when i chose to wait with no intervention.
Couldnt wait that long for subsequent mcs.

Star82 best of luck with whatever you decide. Its a very difficult time to make decisions and whatever you decide will be right for you.

I thought I would share my experience which was a natural mc at 11 weeks, discovered at 10+5, baby had died around 9 weeks.

We found out the news on a Friday and went home to think about our options. My gut feeling was that I wanted it to happen naturally - in part perhaps to have the decision taken out of my hands, but also as I felt it would be a cathartic experience and part of the healing process. I was lucky in that I only had to wait two days for it to start - I'm not sure how long I would have waited if it hadn't happened when it did.

I wouldn't change my decision, even knowing what I do about the experience I had. However, I would not choose to miscarry naturally again, as it was incredibly painful (ended up in A&E) and worrying for DH. It was also cathartic however as I expected, and I was on a high after it had happened and I had come out the other end (sounds weird, but it was true. Some kind of survivor mentality?!) My bad memories of the mc now are not the physical event itself at 11 weeks, but when we discovered at 10+5.

I hope this helps. Lots of hugs.

Hairytriangle Have you thought any more about what you will do. Still down for the op tomorrow so unless i have a major flap about it, that's the way i'll be heading.

Brokeoven Sorry if my post wasn't clear. It may appear as a blighted ovum from the re scan on thursday but there had been an embryo the previous week. We were really surprised but the sonographer said it will have broken down and been absorbed by the womb lining. I'd have preferred a natural one but can't bear the thought of how long it could take and we have christmas approaching which must makes it so much worse.

Thankyou crochet for sharing your story. Doesn't sound weird at all. This was why i'd have preferred a natural one. I don't want to medically put myself through pain but would be ok if the pain was natural. It's lots of factors that have made it hard to wait. We've moved an hour away from any family recently so no-one to drop in at a moment's notice, we have 2 children already, it's not long til Christmas and i'm not showing any signs of miscarrying soon and this baby dies 3 weeks ago :(

Hope all you ladies are now fit and recovered enough to move on from your miscarriages. xxx

Hi there
I have had 2 medically managed mc, one at 17 weeks and one at 13 weeks. It seems as if hospital procedures can be very different.
Where I am in Scotland you are given one oral tablet and then sent home. The following day you go back in to get the pessaries and are admitted to your own room, and it is assumed that you will miscarry in hospital that day. You are given pain killers and the option of further pain relief whenever you need it.
On both occasions I misscarried about 2 hours later. The pain for me was like mild contractions. They were sore, but dulled down considerably by the painkillers. I didnt require any further pain relief. I think that the pain varies hugely from person to person though.
After the mc, I had to rest for a couple of hours and was then sent home. I bled for 4-5 days, pretty much like a period.
Although it was horrible and really sad, I am glad that I chose this option, it felt more natural in a strange kind of way.

I hope that whatever you choose to do it is gentle on you. All the best. x

Hi. So sorry for your loss. I had a molar pregnancy which which was only diagnosed becaue I chose to have an op.I dread to think of the consequences had it not been diagnosed. When I later miscarried, the nurse advised me that if I left 'it' to happen naturally, it would be no worse than a heavy period. In truth, there was a not unusual clot on the cervix and I nearly bled to death.(Or so it seemed). I had to be admitted as an emergency, by which time I felt I was in labour. Awful, awful, awful.
When i miscarried for the second time, I had no problem with GA.
Whatever you decide, good luck.

I found it quite distressing when I went down that road, particularly the um... sensations as things were passed. I also had issues with retained tissue going down that road so ended up having to have an ERPC anyway as well.

When I had to make the dreadful choice again recently - I went for the surgical option but obviously others had a different experience. I would say the surgical option was easier mentally on me, but I reserve the right to answer that until my period ever rematerializes and I know if my body's back to normal. (sorry superstitious and don't want to tempt fate)

I would say sadly yes it is that awful... I hAve had one medical

One erpc and two natural. All three very different but medical was like a living hell. Pain with inadequate pain relief and I would never go through that again. I recommend erpc or natural if at all possible.. Sorry you are going through this

Just to add my bit? with the ERPC I went to sleep and woke up with the whole thing over, the hospital cremated the remains, and my (physical) recovery was quick. Symptoms gone, and I could move on. I'm v surgery phobic but it really was as painless (again, at least physically) a process as it could have been. I did however have to wait 5 long months before my period reappeared.

This is always YOUR choice and no one else's, but having been in a similar position I know it's reassuring to have honest advice?

Sorry you are going through this.

4 natural mc, 1 medical managed and 1 erpc.

The medical managed was the worst by far and I took that option thinking it would be easier, no ga etc. I was 8 weeks.
It was being marooned in this little room all day that was awful. The first nurse was ok but when the shifts changed they never let us know or came to check on me. Then they forgot my next tablet on time so it all got out of sync.
We finally got out at about 10.30 that evening. It was a horrible experience from start to finish.

The erpc in contrast was far easier to deal with, I was home in half a day with actually far less pain than the medically managed.

I hope whatever you have decided works for you.

I have recently had an ERPC and despite getting very worked up and scared about it all it went very very smoothly. Staff were fantastic and tried their hardest to put me at ease. Once I was knocked out the next thing I knew it was all over and done with. There were some cramping sensations but nothing that a painkiller didn't sort out and I felt my old self again within about half hour.

Left hospital after lunch and I bled for about 2 weeks and it wasn't even really that heavy. I didn't even pass clots because it had all been taken away properly. All in all I was surprised how 'easy' it was, forgive the phrasing but am referring to the procedure as opposed to the mental/emotional side of things.

Definately don't regret doing it this way and heaven forbid should I face the same again I would definately do it the same way. Was 8/9 weeks gone by the way before we lost it and then had the ERPC. So sorry for your loss, such a horrid stressful time

I had a medically managed miscarriage last year. I didn't have any choice as there was a risk that it was a cervical ectopic and as such it could have been really dangerous. It was much more painful than actual labour and I was in the end admitted to a gynae ward. I am not sure if that was because of the cervical issues or not. After the actual miscarriage I had several blood tests over a period of days and that was almost as bad because noone can take my blood.

Thanks everyone for replying.

Just wanted to say i went in yesterday for the ERPC and it all went as smoothly as it could. Was discharged less than two hours after i came round. No sickness and although very heavy blood loss yesterday, it's been very light today. No pain at all. As with you emptyshell, i don't want to temp tate and am very aware that i could start bleeding again and get pain. I suppose now it's a case of hoping i get a period as have been really worried about potential scaring leading to Asherman's Syndrome. I've got my fingers massively crossed that all will turn out ok. :)

I'm hoping mine's on the way (got stinking cramps and the world's annoying me - more than usual!)... but seriously, if the EPU bods are anything like mine - call them with any queries or worries at all, they've been fantastic on the end of a phone for me (GP's useless). Although it's wrong that we have to actively CHASE post-MC support in a way that new mums who got lucky don't have to as much - if you need them, call them up (I still carry the number with me now two months later).

As for Ashermans - I know there's someone on here who's going through all that at the moment - think there's a thread further down the page.

Hope it's the beginning of the end of the nightmare for you and you get your happy ending soon.

I Lost 3 babies, one at 12 weeks- had an operation, One naturally at 5weeks and another at 16 weeks for that one I had managed miscarriage. I understand that managed miscarriage supposed to be the best for mothers health but mentally this was the worst experience ever. Only if I knew what I had to go through - actually give birth, go through all the physical pain and then use all the strength of not looking once the baby is delivered.....I really hope I don’t have to go through it again but if I had to I would go for operation. Good luck