Did you do something nice on your due date

[littlewish]

Do any of you have any ideas of how I can mark our little lost baby's due date which is on Sunday. It's there on the kitchen calendar "Baby's Day"

I had a MMC discovered at the 20 week scan, baby had only grown to about 15 weeks in size and we'll never find out if it was a little boy or a girl as no tests were done.

Not a moment goes by when I don't think of our little one but this week is proving to be really hard, the tears are back and I keep imagining that lovely newborn baby in the house feeling and picturing the congratulations cards on the mantlepiece and looking at the space in the living room where the moses basket would fit nicely. Even the weather is being nice here - lovely blue sky,crisp and cold, perfect for bringing baby home wrapped in a blanket with a little hat. Sorry if I sound a little crazy I don't say these things to anyone in RL, it's just nice to write them down my head is just so full of what if's at the moment.

I will light a little candle on Sunday evening once we are sitting down for the night, did any of you do something nice that day. Any suggestions. Thanksx

I know that some people like to plant a tree or something similar - something that would have something nice at this time of year, like a crab apple or perhaps a thorn tree, both of which have nice berries. If you don't have room for a tree yourself, you might want to find out about The Woodland Trust and see whether you can find a local site where you can dedicate a tree.

I can't really help very much - my first EDD I had my final chemo injection - which was particularly bad timing. Given that I always seem to get pregnant at the same time of year - and that we now have ds's birthday to celebrate less than 2 wks after that original date, subsequent edds have not had the same significance.

They're not crazy feelings at all, please don't feel that. Be gentle with yourself. With time it will feel less raw.

My EDD would have been the 27th November (couple of days after my birthday)and I've been thinking about the very same thing.

We planted a tree in our front garden after the loss but I feel like the day should be marked.

I even found myself mentally talking to the box that I have his scan photo's in, telling him that it's his birthday soon and what will we do! God I'm weird!!

I'm thinking the lighting of a candle is a lovely thought. I will probably head down to my church to light a candle and say a prayer for him (but that's obviously just my believes)

I know hubby will be uncomfortable making a big to do about it and we must be sensitive to each others needs, so I think a low key but sensitive marking is in order - hence (in my opinion)your candle lighting is perfect.

Be kind to yourself.

My first due date in 2008 DP and I went away together, just to Cornwall but it was nice to be able to spend the time together with no distractions. My second due date was this June and I had just had my third mc confirmed so we did nothing for that. Third due date is December 30th. Not sure what we will do, if anything. Is nice to get some ideas really but I don't want to reignite teh sadness more than I have to if that makes sense.

Thanks for your replies ladies. I planted some daffodils in memory of the baby a while ago and look forward to them appearing in the spring. I will think about planting a tree too, it's just so wild and wet out there at the moment.

I've just received some flowers from my MIL's friend with a card saying that she was thinking of me, I don't know her very well, I was really touched as I didn't think anyone would remember least of all her. It made me cry and I feel a little better after a good cry.

A cuddle on the sofa with my DH is probably the best thing to do.