Miscarried one hour after seeing heartbeat.

[broughthimroundtotheidea]

I started bleeding 6 days ago, and cramping and this had got gradually worse to the extent where I had thought it was complete and was starting to deal with grieving.
Yesterday I had my second HCG result back which had climbed from 9201 to 12458 over 72 hours, so no where near doubling.
I got told to go for a scan with the impression it was to check for ectopic/ see what was left.
To my utter shock a strong heartbeat was found during internal scanning and was measuring 7+4 weeks, 1 week less than my dates. I was stunned . 50 minutes later whilst on the toilet I felt a gush and lost the baby, still in its sac with the placenta attatched.
I now have it as the epu said they do a mass cremation, and having seen it and held it in my hand within an hour of it's heart beating I couldn't bring myself to leave 'him'. now am not sure what to do with 'him'. My heart says I should bury with a plant, but how will I feel about this in the future?
Does anyone have any experience of this?
I am still in shock

oh my goodness! i am so sorry :(

i think that burying him would be a really lovely thing to do

Hello, very sorry for your loss
Don't have experience exactly like yours, but I did have a mc a few months ago, following a scan that detected a heart beat - didn't realise for another week, but when I had the next scan there was no heartbeat and no growth, so must have died almost immediately.
You think you are "safe" when you get the heartbeat. It is so awful.
I don't know the right thing to do with your baby, I don't see why you would regret the burying idea though.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I have had 2 MC, one was a MMC where I saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks (though it measured a week behind like yours), when I went back 2 weeks later it had died.

I managed to catch the first baby and sac (I was 9 weeks when I MC'd), I could not bear to flush it away but was in a right state. I don't have a garden so I put it in a container in the freezer, nearly a year later it is still there and I don't know what to do.

I think burying it is a lovely idea, maybe mark with a new tree or something that can remind you of the baby you lost. If you were to move you could always take tree or a cutting form it with you.

Again I am so sorry this has happened. x

I'm so sorry.
If it were me, I think I would bury him x

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I've also had a mc after seeing a hb but I was measuring right for my dates and the heavy bleeding started 36 hours after the scan. It is awful, like you I'd had bleeding prior to the scan and seeing the hb was very unexpected and I actually thought after two previous mc that this time we were going to be OK. Like iggnite says you think after seeing a hb you're going to make it

I think your idea of burying is a lovely idea.

I am so sorry for your loss

I can understand why you don't want to go ahead with the cremation. Burial sounds like a better idea if possible.

Thinking of you x

A friend of mine lost a baby much later in pregnancy (30+ weeks) and buried him in the garden, with a new tree on top. She has spoken about it several times and seems to find it a good way of remembering him, so I'd say go for it. The only issue might be if you are likely to move house in future - how would you feel about leaving the baby behind?

I think burying him would be a lovely thing to do

I'm so sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry. If you think it would help you and would be better than the cremation, burying him and putting a beautiful plant in the place would be fine.

Thanks for all your kind words, I have just been and bought a pot rose and am going to put in there, this way I can take with us if we move. Am hoping it flowers then I will be able to cut the flowers on what was the due date and bring them in the house.
Maybe you could do something like this KTDace if you don't have a garden could you trust anyone enough to look after it in an outside pot. Another option could be to plant in a remote beauty spot with some bulbs? Then in the spring you could go and look at the flowers and maybe pick them?

So sorry for your loss, that is so very sad...I think your idea of the rose plant is beautiful, and you can take him with you if you move.

I didn't manage to keep my losses, so we lit chinese lanterns to say goodbye X

I didn't choose to hold on to my baby's body (to present another POV) although I gave thought to burial I went the toilet route in the end - the pregnancy sac I saw wasn't my baby, I've tried to not focus on it too much.
When I think of what I lost I think of the newborn baby I'd hoped to hold, not of the embryo, iyswim.
Different things work for different people. Wish none of us had had to go through it

I didn't choose to hold on to my baby's body (to present another POV) although I gave thought to burial I went the toilet route in the end - the pregnancy sac I saw wasn't my baby, I've tried to not focus on it too much.
When I think of what I lost I think of the newborn baby I'd hoped to hold, not of the embryo, iyswim.
Different things work for different people. Wish none of us had had to go through it

So sorry to read your story. I started bleeding and they scanned me, same as you - stong heartbeat but measuring a week behind and could see an active bleed. Had also lost my symotoms. Continues to bleed and three days later lost the placenta so knew it was all over. Didn't pass the sac until the next day but tbh just looked like another big clot and they wanted to take it for molar testing so I left it there.

I think with hindsight I should have chosen to bury the baby. The idea of a rosebush is lovely.

I'm just thinking about the significance in all these stories of the measurements - I was a week less than I knew I should be as well, the attitude seemed to be that my dates were wrong not the growth rate - but they weren't wrong.
Maybe (potential) mc could be predicted in these cases, rather than the false hope we probably all had on the basis of the hb!

I had strong heartbeat detected at 5 weeks and again at 8 weeks with my 2nd mmc, but no heartbeat at 9 weeks. The lady at the epu thought I was making a fuss when I asked for a further scan at 9 weeks, but I just felt something was wrong-and it was. My first baby (lost at 8 weeks) I found in my knickers, following some very strong contractions. The 2nd I delivered very quickly down the toilet, it didn't hit me at the time, but I often feel immense guilt about it now, although it happened so quickly I know there was nothing I could have don.
I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.