2nd miscarriage

[Halla]

hi everyone, I had a miscarriage on 6th of dec 00
3 months later I got pregnant again, I was very sick, I had hyperemisis and spent first 4 months in and out of hospital, but i had a beautiful little girl, now 20 months.
I got pregnant again but miscarried in April at 17 weeks. lots of blood tests were done, but no reason became apparant. In Ireland, you need to have 3 consequtive (sp) miscarriages before dna testing will be done, so they sent me home and said there was nothing they could do unless I had another 2 miscarriages.
I am planning to try again, I won't give up. but I wonder are some people's bodies not meant to be pregnant or whether it's just bad luck. any ideas on what i should do?

hi halla
I don't have any direct experience myself but firstly to say sorry to hear what you've been through. It sounds like just bad luck. you have carried to full term and will do so again I'm sure. I know at least 4 close friends who have had miscarriages, from 1st and 2nd pregnancies to 3rd and 4th - there was no rhyme or reason to any of them.
Try going through the previous miscarriage threads on this board, I'm sure there will be lots of info that can help and people who have been through exactly this. One in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage so with such a high statistic it's not surprising that so many people have them (although obviously no comfort when it happens to you).

good luck, i'm sure you it'll work out.

hi halla,
so sorry to hear of your miscarriages but please do not give up hope, especially as you have already successfully carried your dd.
i had a miscarriage and a stillbirth. we had all the tests done and nothing showed up. i am now 33 wks pg having been put on low-dose aspirin this time around. it is used regularly to treat women who repeatedly miscarry so it might be worth discussing this with your GP if you become pg again. best of luck.

Hi Halla, As the others know I've just had my second m/c. I thought I would come and chat because you seem to be in very similar circumstances and we might be able to help each other. I couldn't really talk online for about a week because I felt a failure and was totally devastated. I couldn't beleive it had happened again! I had my first m/c in March at 15 weeks, althought the babay was about 8/9. It was a really bad time because they would not do a D and C, left me for 3 weeks, did the d and c, got an infection and bled for another 2 months. I thought I would never conceive agian. I left 3 cycles and used Persona to get pg and did so the first month of trying. I was in a state of panick the whole time as I was petrified I would get to 15 weeks agian and not know. Finally my consultant said a scan had been arranged at 6.5 weeks, the next day though I started bleeding an d knew that was it. That was 2 weeks ago and fotunatley this m/c was complete.
I DO have a lovely DD who is 3 in 2 weeks so like you am comforted by that fact and statistically we have a good chance of having another healthy baby. Apparantly it's like rolling a dice and you could get a 1 2 or 3 times in a row. When u get 4 or 5 you think that's not a fluke. My Doc is sending me for a hormone check but doubts it's that as I have 1 DD and have concevied ok. I think I might just have been unlucky. Anyway, to help you have a look at this link to St Mary's Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic in London. It's very reassuring. Even in those people who have had 3 or more and they can't find a reason 80% will conceive and give birth all by themselves. It also links to Professor Lesley Regan's Book, When a Misaccriage Happens. She is wonderful and agin might answer some of your questions. You can order direct from ST Mary's. It is not policy here either to refer until 3 have happened, so until then, we'll all be here for each other and get through it. Positive thinking I've learned has such an impact on the success of a pg and the support u get form Docs etcc is crucial. Good luck, hope u can chat soon.xxxx
StMary's

Hi Halla, As the others know I've just had my second m/c. I thought I would come and chat because you seem to be in very similar circumstances and we might be able to help each other. I couldn't really talk online for about a week because I felt a failure and was totally devastated. I couldn't beleive it had happened again! I had my first m/c in March at 15 weeks, althought the babay was about 8/9. It was a really bad time because they would not do a D and C, left me for 3 weeks, did the d and c, got an infection and bled for another 2 months. I thought I would never conceive agian. I left 3 cycles and used Persona to get pg and did so the first month of trying. I was in a state of panick the whole time as I was petrified I would get to 15 weeks agian and not know. Finally my consultant said a scan had been arranged at 6.5 weeks, the next day though I started bleeding an d knew that was it. That was 2 weeks ago and fotunatley this m/c was complete.
I DO have a lovely DD who is 3 in 2 weeks so like you am comforted by that fact and statistically we have a good chance of having another healthy baby. Apparantly it's like rolling a dice and you could get a 1 2 or 3 times in a row. When u get 4 or 5 you think that's not a fluke. My Doc is sending me for a hormone check but doubts it's that as I have 1 DD and have concevied ok. I think I might just have been unlucky. Anyway, to help you have a look at this link to St Mary's Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic in London. It's very reassuring. Even in those people who have had 3 or more and they can't find a reason 80% will conceive and give birth all by themselves. It also links to Professor Lesley Regan's Book, When a Misaccriage Happens. She is wonderful and agin might answer some of your questions. You can order direct from ST Mary's. It is not policy here either to refer until 3 have happened, so until then, we'll all be here for each other and get through it. Positive thinking I've learned has such an impact on the success of a pg and the support u get form Docs etcc is crucial. Good luck, hope u can chat soon.xxxx
StMary's

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Hello - I am sorry to hear your story and feel that this is something that you are either touched by or blissfully ignorant of. I suffered two before successfully conceiving my first child and have since had a second child with no problems. I felt desperate after the second miscarriage and felt that there was little support available really as professionals state that they will investigate after 3 - this seemed terribly harsh when I was experiencing it and I thought everyone just wanted to see me suffer. As it turned out I was fine for the 3rd pregnancy and so there was no problem afterall,. It is just seemingly natures way of saying things are not right. The fact that you have a child is at least a comfort as you know you are able to conceive and carry to term. I too was very ill with both of my successful pregnancies adn took that as a sign that all was well. Considering that conceiving is the first major hurdle my gp led me to think that this was the main thing and to keep trying - easy to say now I am through that awful time in my life but true all the same in my case.

Good luck to everyone experiencing difficulties

I agree so much with Hughsie that it does seem to affect some people while others are blissfully unaware of the impact of losing a baby- that's why it seems so unfair!

Quackers, it's lovely to see you back and that you seem to be able to talk so openly about your experiences. I really do hope you are keeping well. Take good care of yourself.

Halla, I would also recommend Prof. Lesley Regan's book. In some strange way it appears to help and provide hope even when you are feeling in despair.

Halla, I'm really sorry about your miscarriages. I have also had 2, one 3 years ago at 9 weeks, and one just a few months ago at 13 weeks. I also have a little girl, she's nearly 2. I'm still devestated by what has happened to me - and I seem to be surrounded by women having babies. 7 friends are currently pregnant, 3 of them due at the same time I would have been. While being delighted for them all, I'm still asking, 'why me?'
I didn't have any testing after my first m/c, but did with the second. Sometimes knowing all the facts makes it harder - we found out that this last baby had Down's Syndrome. I didn't know that a great percentage of unborn babies with Down's Syndrome dont often make it full term. My risk is now increased of having a second baby with Down's Syndrome. This doesn't bother me ( well it does, but that's another discussion I think) at this stage it's the risk of losing any more babies. I do believe that there are some women who genuinely do have difficulties carrying a baby to term, but for most miscarriages there is a medical reason, in my case the baby was not healthy. It's just the most awful kind of luck. I sometimes think knowing what went wrong is worse than not knowing anything at all.

One of the things that disappoints me most is the age gap that I will have between children, but there isn't a thing I can do about that now.
Please don't give up! You already have a beautiful little toddler, and she is proof that you can carry a baby to term. I think the same myself and can't wait to be pregnant again. Having had these problems does make me think how lucky I am to have my dd at all.
I'm glad you posted, there are others like you and me I'm sure out there, and knowing that helps. I'm going to be looking out for your messages telling us all that you're expecting once again, hope I see something like that very soon
love hana

Hi Hana, I think that's the worst bit, seeing people/friends expecting especially at the time you would have been due. I suppose you have to think what have they been through to get that baby. Most of them I know will have been fine and not have a clue about m/c and some will know exactly how u feel. My due date is coming up now and I'm really dreading it. Especially as I've lost another and now have another due date to deal with in March.
I don't really know what to say about your baby being down. I do dnot know how I feel about that side of things and if after all this it would change things or not. I know your risk is higher but as the book we recommended says, your chances of a healthy baby are in your favour still. I beleive even after 3 the chances are still about 70% and higher if like us we've carried to term already.
The age gap bothers me too. But there are advantages and disadvatages to having them close or further apart. Mine is 3 and she knows about the first as I had a bump etc.. She would dearly love a sibling and adores babies - that's so tough, when I see her with other babies. She would have had one shortly.
Re trying again. Everyone seems to say when you;re ready. I tried after 3 cycles but my periods were never quite right and the second m/c seems to have cleared what was left from the first. I will hopefully try again after 3 more cyccles if i feel ok and periods are ok.

Brookstone Hiya!! How are you. Thanks for all your messgaes on 'my' thread!! Feeling lots better. Just can't wait to try again. I was SO put off after this one but I'm coming round to the idea - if you don't try you'll never know. At least if I have another, I'll be sent to St Mary's, don't want that at all though as I live on the Isle of Man. Will cost a fortune! I'm so pleased you have conceived again. I am so sorry for your losses. I didn't realise you'd had a stillbirth, I'm sure that was extremeley hard. Wishing you lots and lots of luck, I'll be thinking of you over the next few weeks.
Love to allxxxxx