lily allen's baby

[bundlebelly]

Someone said today she has lost her baby. Anyone know how far along she was? Poor thing it must be really horrible to be in the public eye going through recurent MCs, and I supose I am making it worse by starting a thread about her, but just hoping she is ok.

Brilliant - well done Daisy! They're on a mission now...

Thankyou for doing this Daisyj. This is a heartbreak which affects so many families every day and yet is just not discussed anywhere.

Well done, daisyj, your letter articulates a great deal of the thoughts that went through my head too on the kind of medical care women who are miscarrying / have miscarried get. Giving birth to a baby that has already died must be an unbelievable mental and physical pain so if there's a way to stop it happening to even a few women every year, resource should be allocated to it.

The attitude to miscarriage is still quite callous. It's just seen as something that happens and no-one understands the pain of it unless they've been through it. I have to say before I had my MMC at 11 weeks in August (I was due around the same time as Lily Allen would have been, actually) I assumed that a miscarriage was like a heavy period. I had no idea how horrendously painful, physically and mentally, a miscarriage is (had to go to hospital with mine). An MC is like a massive kick in the head from life and the pain is always there.

Just recently a close friend of mine got in touch to say she was expecting and was due a month after when I would have been due. I just fell to bits and cried for the whole evening afterwards. Our children would have been the same age. Things like that jump up from nowhere to bite you just when you think you're getting better. When you lose a baby later on, when you've started to get comfortable and get to know the baby and have told everyone, it must be 100 times worse. The whole experience is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy so if there is any way to prevent miscarriage through screening or testing, it should be used. The medical profession seem to think that because the statistical likelihood for miscarriage is high that it's just bad luck. But it might not be, it might be a real medical condition that could be diagnosed early and treated. I still worry that my MMC wasn't just bad luck but something more serious but I guess I'll never know unless I"m unlucky enough to have 2 more. I would happily pay for private tests too but there is very little available. We are all just left to 'wait and see'.

InMyPrime, we had similar experiences you and I - mine was also an mmc at 11 weeks, and my cousin was due two days before me - we had been so looking forward to going through the whole experience together. I really feel for you, and hope that your experience does turn out, like mine, to be just bad luck. I still feel incredibly sad when I think about the loss of our first child - I remember the due date each year, and think of who our baby might have been... xx

Just seen in DM she is now in hospital with septicemia.

I've just read about the septicaemia too. As if it wasn't bad enough already, now this. I do hope she gets through it all and better times are ahead for her.

Oh dear, poor poor woman. I feel so sorry for her. My MMC at 12 weeks was pretty much the worst thing that has happened to me in my life (I hope to God nothing worse is in store and realise that I am lucky in a way; so many people deal with worse) so I simply cannot bear the thought of how she must be feeling. My heart goes out to her.

I can only imagine what the poor love is going through - I cry everytime I think about it.

I know auntiemaggie I do too, poor poor Lily. x

I was really sad when saw the news about lily.I have sadly had 6 msc. 3 of them were in the 2nd trimester(19,24 and 28 wks).I wouldnt wish that experience on my worst enemy. I am lucky enough to now have 3 lovely kids but am still dealing with the emotional aftermath of these losses.
I hope lily gets the support that she will need and also some medical investigations into why(possible incompetent cervix?).

Can't believe the Guardian ran her pre-miscarriage interview all about how she was looking forward to having the baby, how the most unhappy she'd ever felt was after the first miscarriage etc.

Sent a suitably apocalyptic email of disgust.

Not sure if this is the right place to put this, but is anyone perturbed that her loss is being referred to in the press (and here) as a miscarriage rather than a stillbirth? I gave birth to my son at a similar gestation this summer, and after nearly three months in intensive care, he is currently snoozing on my chest. It disturbs me that had he not made it, anyone would have referred to him as a miscarriage. Not to minimise the loss of a baby earlier in pregnancy (I've been through that too), but losing a baby near or beyond the point of viability has a pain all of its own, and it seems right to me that the language we use should reflect this.

Agree that the Guardian article was despicable.

Agree libe to me its a stillbirth, rather than late miscarriage. Hate the term MC now, having said that at the time of my 12 week MC i preferred to use it as it was a much harder saying "lost my baby" somehow using the term distanced it a little!