Hope after a stillborn experience

[louisesh]

Hi

Im 39 and 10 days ago experienced our beautiful daughter being stillborn.I ve had 3 MCs in the last 2 years and fell pg with Georgie in Jan this year.Was monitored very well during this pregnancy through the first 12 weeks via EPU, had pregnanyl injections [ though no reason for mcs ever found],took aspirin up to 36 weeks, under consultant care.Had 2 private scans .All fine up to 41 weeks, my darling daughter's HB loud and strong.

Then on Fri 8th oct [41 weeks] saw my MW she did the 2nd stretch and sweep, listened to Georgie's HB all good.The next day at 11.30 listened with my doppler ;nothing.Went in for a trace ;nothing.In 22 hours our daughter had died.

I delivered [very easily ] in 6 hours the day after.We have had a post mortom on Georgie and have now just arranged her cremation/service for 1st November.We are trying to look for all the positives of our gorgeous daughter whilst missing her like mad and morning her.

Has anyone experienced anyhting similar then gone on to have a healthy pregnancy? Please give us hope XX

oh wow, this is awful, i am so sorry . it seems unbelievable. do you have any idea at all at this stage why it happened?
you don't say what stage your previous MCs were but if they were first trimester, given your age, they may not indicate any particular problem (MCs are obviously more common the older you get) that is linked in any way to the devastating death of your daughter.
i'm sure someone will be along soon who can share their experiences. also you should try posting on some of the other boards - there are certainly a couple of regular posters on the miscarriage board who have been through the devastating experience of stillbirth and will be able to help support you. i can only imagine the utter devastation and isolation you feel right now.

sorry, i'm an idiot, you already did post this on the miscarriage board; what i meant to say is that i think there's a bereavement board as well. others will be able to point you in the right direction.

I have a friend who had a stillbirth and went on to have two beautiful healthy happy bright lovely children. I'm so sorry for your loss of Georgie. I hope you are being looked after. So so so sorry for your awful loss.

Hi, and very unmumsnetty hugs (((((((( ))))))). I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter Georgie. I can remember all too well the rawness of the first weeks and months.

I have had severe Preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome with my first 2 babies. My first baby was stillborn at 24 weeks due to the preeclampsia. My second DS was them born 18 months afterwards, but was born at 31+3 weeks after trying to control the preeclampsia for about 10 days while having steroids to mature the baby's lungs. He spent 5 weeks in hospital because of his prematurity but he was very healthy otherwise and is now 3.8. Last year I went on to have a daughter and this time didn't get the preeclampsia at all.

I know I was given an appointment with a consultant who was an expert on my condition 3 months after DS1 died. He went over what had happened and why and answered our questions sensitively and then gave me a plan of my future care with any subsequent pregnancies. He was true to his word and when I was pregnant again I was referred back to him and he was in charge of my care throughout my 2nd pregnancy, which helped a lot. The fact that there was a detailed plan in place gave me reassurance that everyone would be aware of the care I needed. If you haven't been given a similar appointment I would ask for one.

I do have lots of friends that have blood clotting disorders such as Hughes Syndrome. Have you got a diagnosis for any condition like this? I am guessing that if you are saying there was no reason ever found for your earlier losses then not? You may wish to ask for further tests to try and determine if there is anything else you can do to prevent this happening again. One of my friends is always telling me that their condidion wasn't picked up for ages because whether it turns up on tests is dependent on all sorts of factors (time of day, what you've eaten etc).

I hope some of this is helpful and again I am very sorry.xx

louise I haven't got anything informed to add. But I just wanted to repeat what I said on the grads thread, that I'm so moved by your situation, and how strong you are in dealing with it.

I hope you get some answers from the PM and are able to move forward in the best way for you and DH. I truly can't imagine how devastating it all must be currently.

So very sorry to hear about the death of your little Georgie and your other losses. You must be feeling utterly devastated and hopeless right now. Has anyone been able to explain why things went so wrong at such a late stage in the pregnancy?

My first child was stillborn at 42 weeks, like you all seemed well as the due date passed. We only found out she had died in utero when we went into hospital for a routine induction. This was 15 years ago now (seems incredible..) - we had a post mortem and there was no 'cause' as such; somehow the umbilical cord wasn't functioning, though there were no abnormalities or knots in it. As in your case, the previous day she was still alive.

The hopeful part of the story is that I then went on to have 2 more children, now 13 and 12. I did also have a miscarriage at 14 weeks when my 12 year old was 2.

I hope this helps you in some way to feel that the future isn't completely black though you and your husband must be feeling completely crushed and grief-stricken right now. My thoughts are with you both and all your family.

Thanks all for responding.Your stories do give me some hope.Hi JOLLISTER

43 today your story sounds like ours don t expect any cause/reason to be found for Georgies death.BUT you went on to have 2 healthy children , lovely.

STRIKEUPTHEBAND thanks we [me and dh] have had loads of blood tests as we saw a genetic counsellor earlier this year and attended the re-current mc clinic, after i pushed.We are being referred back to a consultant, i met once when pg with Georgie in 6 weeks to discuss all our and PM results.My MW has said WHEN i m next pg the consultant will monitor me closely i ll be scanned 2 weekly from 28 weeks and in for a c-section at 38 weeks.Soo only the first 12 weeks to get through and they re eliminating the last 2-3 weeks.

HORTEN thanks again, a story with hope.This is what i need to hear now X

Thanks SOOTOUGH i ll have a look there.

Thanks ALL x

I am so so sorry to hear of your loss, you must be so sad. I have heard of lots of people who sadly have had a still birth and gone on to have a successful pregnancy and wish you all the luck in the world in the future. xxx

Thanks very much BBB81 for your kind thoughts its very nice XX

Hi Louise

My first child, Laura, was stillborn at almost 42 weeks. I had had an uneventful pregnancy other than hyperemesis in the first trimester and was considered low risk. At six days passed my due date I had a membrane sweep and the heartbeat was heard, three days later I woke and did not feel my baby moving so went to hospital for a reassurance trace. Tragically my baby had died. She was induced 2 days later. Laura weighed 9lb 4oz and was 22 and a half inches long. A post mortem could establish no cause of death. I was 34 at the time (July 2005) and wanted to try again as soon as possible. I fell pregnant on the first attempt but unfortunately this resulted in a blighted ovum detected at 10 week scan. Less than a month later I was pregnant again with my now almost 4 year old daughter. I took aspirin throughout the pregnancy and was also diagnosed with gestational diabetes, which may have been a contributing factor in Laura's death, though this was never confirmed. After Beth was born I set up a local Sands group and can tell you that almost everyone who attended went on to have a healthy baby following their loss. I am now 39 and considering another pregnancy. It is a terrifying prospect but time is moving on and it is now or never. If you can get hold of a copy of 'An exact replica of a figment of my imagination'by Elizabeth McCracken I heartily recommend that you read it. The author's first child was stillborn at 41 weeks when she was 40 years old and she has gone on to have two more children.
I feel I have rambled a little here but do hope that this post has provided you with optimism for the future.

Thanks very much LABTEST your story does give me hope.I will get the book you ve reccommended.Thanks a lot XX

Hi I am so so sorry for your terrible loss. My dd2 was stillborn at 34 weeks. She just stopped moving so I rushed to see my midwife and there was no heartbeat. I was induced a day later and she was born 5.3 and gorgeous. It was a normal pregnancy and despite investigations no cause was found.
I have gone on to have 2 more children...normal and highly monitored pregnancies. I am lucky I have has 4 gorgeous children and I have 3 with me.

When things got really stressful during my pregnancies I used to keep thinking You've got to be on it to win it! Like a bad game show catch phrase but it's true. Facing it all again is so stressful but when you hole thAt screaming baby in your arms it is the most amazing feeling. I miss dd2

So very sorry louise and to other posters who have experienced such tragic losses.

My baby passed away a day after her birth from infection which was not picked up. It was a total shock as my preg was pretty uneventful and closely monitored. I had 2 MCs after that and am now 19 weeks with 4 preg. I requested genetic counselling and I am being super-closely monitored but still I know something could go wrong at any moment.

When you are feeling stronger, try to see the consultant and ask for tests. The NHS is quite limited and there are more advanced private tests. The posters on here are an a wonderful source of support and info and so do keep posting for information.

I wish you much love and strength in the days ahead. The days will get easier and your beautiful Georgie will always be in your heart.

Hi Applehead. x

I'm so sorry you have lost your daughter Georgie.

I lost my DS2 at 36 weeks - his was an 'unexplained stillbirth'. 5 days short of 1 year later my DS3 was born safe and well. It was a stressful pregnancy with my DS3, especially towards the end, but so worth it all.

Thank you all for posting you are all giving me hope for the future which is what i need at the moment.I miss Georgie soo much but have to hold on to the fact we will have her brother or sister soon. XX

So terribly sorry for your loss. I have been there. My first daughter was stillborn because I have an inherited thrombophilia, it was discovered afterwards. I now have three beautiful children. But I remember the despair. I hope the post-mortem results give you some answers. Wishing you strength at this time.

Thanks very much Wodalingpengwin Nice to know you went on to have children.I need hope at the moment X

I am so sorry to hear of your terrible loss but please don't give up hope. I have had 4 miscarriages and have also lost dcs at 24,28 and 20 weeks. The 28 and 20 week babies were both stillborn-the 24 weeker lived for 10 hours.

I have an incompetent cervix and also a blood clotting disorder but with medical intervention and lots of careful monitoring I have been able to have 3 healthy dcs.

I wish you all the best for the future.

I'm so utterly sorry you are experiencing this.

I lost my baby boy suddenly at 38 weeks due to Hughes & am expecting again.

I have to say, I would be inconsolable if it wasn't for the support of mums like me on Sands who have struggled through all the steps to get to healthy babies that they take home. I hope to join them in a few months & I think this community may be able to offer you support as you take the first steps into your grief.

I miscarried a year ago.
DC2 is now 2 weeks old.
I am 41.
Very anxious during my pregnancy.
All I can say is take one day at a time.
I got pg first month of trying, from then it was constant knicker check ing for blood!

reaching out for some hope !? I had exact same experience on Saturday last week. I nearly died and I lost my baby girl at 35 weeks x