12 week scan, blighted ovum - advice please!

[Sparklywine]

Unfortunately on Friday at what should have been a 12w+5d scan we found out there was an empty sac and no baby. We were then given 3 options (in photocopied leaflets with the pages in the wrong order, helpful) and decided to go away and read before making a decision, but our gut instinct was always to see what happened naturally and avoid any medical intervention if possible. I'd also far rather be at home than in hospital, really dislike them. So here we are on Monday, I've gone into work as am in no pain (feel a slight abdominal pain but think this is either from being 'probed' about with on Friday, or too much wine last night!). Sat here with a stash of extra heavy pads and some ibuprofen extra waiting for something to happen! I've got a scan booked in for a week today, to check on progress and to make sure everything has been 'evacuated' (nice) but my question is, what if nothing happens? I've had no bleeding or anything, and am getting quite anxious that my body is just going to hang onto the remnants of this pregnancy indefinitely. Is there a chance nothing will happen without some sort of intervention, or will nature right itself? I can cope with waiting if I know something will happen at some point, if you see what I mean.

Don't want this to go unanswered. I have had 2 MMC's and I chose the medical intervention route, and never considered the natural route. I know the natural route can be quite distressing; you can bleed alot and sometimes end up in hospital anyway. Other times not everything gets out and you have to have medical intervention anyway AFTER going through all the waiting, etc. And I know that in some cases things don't start naturally which puts you in position for infection. I can understand why you want to go for the natural route, and the miscarriage association can usually provide more info about this.

BTW very sorry for your loss :(

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. My first pregnancy was also a blighted ovum found at the 12 week scan.

I was told that the longer your body had held onto a pregnancy, the less likely it was to end on it's own, and opted to get things over and done with by having an erpc. I couldn't face waiting for weeks.

Hello Sparkly and I'm so very sorry for your loss. Firstly, I'm delighted you're seeking solace in the form of wine! Secondly, I've been where you are now and absolutely commend you on going to work with such horrible news and the even more horrible wait to see what will happen.

The slight difference in my circumstances was that I had started to lose a bit of blood when I went for my scan and the mc very gradually started to happen after that, when my body finally got around to realising. The problem with a mmc is that, if your body still hasn't caught onto the fact that the pg isn't viable after 12 weeks, it can be a bit of an indefinite wait after you've found out - whilst it catches up and starts to expel the sac. Obviously, some women find this all a bit too much and opt for the ERPC to get closure and to make things a little less traumatic, but it's entirely down to you. Your EPU will probably steer you in the direction of a natural mc (which is the way I went) but none of the options are by any means easy and I'd largely ignore the one size fits all photocopies they hand out at the hospital. You just need to do what's best for you. I'd give yourself a cutoff point as to how long you think you can cope with the wait. Your EPU may well suggest going for the ERPC if you're waiting longer than a week, as it's only drawing it out unnecessarily and potentially increasing your risk of infection further down the line.

Personally, I would advise telling someone you trust at work about the mc if you haven't already. Not to scare you, but my mc began much like a heavy period and then became considerably more heavy and painful as time went on. I needed to be at home during the worst of it, as the blood loss and discomfort was not something I could have managed at home, or indeed in public. I totally understand why you'd rather be at home than in hospital! However, everyone is different in terms of their experience (much like with birth) and you must do whatever makes you most comfortable.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had the same with my first pregnancy at 12 1/2 weeks too. I had begun to lose, but was running a high temperature and not well, so was advised an ERPC. We have gone on to have two lovely boys.

I found the miscarriage association to be a support to me.

Hello Sparklywine I am so sorry for all your loss, just thought i would share my experience of my M/C

My situation was slightly different, i had cramps at 7 weeks, had a scan which they saw only a sac, i had a scan 2 weeks later which did show some development and a 3rd scan as they wanted to make sure nothing was developing a week later, this scan showed no heart beat and a very underdevolped pregnancy.

They like you gave me the 3 leaflets to read, also in the wrong order. I was told that if i opted for a natural M/C if it wasnt complete after the scan like you are going to have they would consider medical intervetion because of infection. i was always going to have an ERPC as firstly i would have been 10/11 weeks and i was not bleeding at all or having cramps and secondaly i had wanted it all over with. And for me it felt like the right thing to do, i felt that my body didnt seem to want to get rid of the pregnacy.

I just really wanted to say do what you think is the best thing for you. But if you do have to have an EPRC in the end, i found the process was very sensitvly handled and all the staff were great, i didnt have any pain at all after the op. It was also nice to talk to the other women on the ward who were going through the same thing as me, I recongised many from the EPU. I had heavy bleeding on the day (which was friday 8/10) but apart from a tiny bit of spotting it has now stopped and i have had no cramps at all. I have been signed off for a week at work now as i had'nt had anytime off since i found out. They have been great and have told me to take my time and recover, it has helped me being away from work too.

take care of your self

Like brokenbits says do what make you feel the most comfortable

ps sorry for the terrible spelling.

I hope you don't mind if I post on here. I found out on Thursday that there was no heartbeat on the scan. I too was offered the 3 options-at present I am waiting for an ERPOC.

I felt that waiting and seeing since that could take weeks when you could miscarry at any point and the thought of starting to bleed anywhere just disturbed me. They also offered medical treatment but then you need a repeat scan. I am being a wimp and did not want to go through with the pain and the thought of going for surgery if it did not work worried me. Like you I am not bleeding or cramping.

I thought the surgery would give me the most control and it would all be over quick appealed to me.

This is my rambling trying to explain why I choose the option I did. The woman in EPAU when I had my scan done that I could change my mind at anytime and it is important to do what is right for you. I do understand why you want to wait and see and you will miscarry eventually from what the scan lady told me but it could be weeks. Thy were telling me it would be 3 weeks till they would scan me again.

Whatever you decide just make sure it is right for you. I am really sorry for your loss and wish you all the luck in getting through this. I hope my ramblings make some kind of sense.

Hello Sparklywine, my first pregnancy ended this way and I decided to let it happen naturally. I had a scan at 8 weeks as I had a small amount of bleeding and an empty sac and no baby was found. I was given all the options but advised not to have any medical intervention which I was happy with. There was no more bleeding and it was actually another 2 1/2 weeks before I actually miscarried. During this time I had regular blood tests to check that the level of pregnancy hormones in my blood was going down and I had the number of the relevant ward at the hospital to contact at any time. The miscarriage was upsetting but I was glad I was at home and I had let nature take it's course. By the time I started bleeding I had started to come to terms with the loss, my worry was that if I had done anything straight away it would have been harder to deal with. But everyone is different and I have heard others say they found it helpful to have medical intervention and not wait around.
I am very sorry for your loss, and hope you can get through this sad time. Nothing anyone said made me feel better, only time. I got pregnant again after 2 months with twins.
All the best x

hi rubybuttons, would you mind me asking when you had your mc? And when you conceived your twins? A miracle by the way and congrats.
Im currnetly 3 weeks on from my mmc 13 weeks gest, 8 week baby.

Hello sparklywine,

I'm really sorry for your loss. I had an mmc that I wanted to manage naturally but ended up needing intervention. I was 14 weeks when they discovered there was no heartbeat, I had had the lightest of spotting and no other signs. The baby measured 8 and half weeks. I had medical intervention (pessaries) and then finally and ERPC because the "tissues" (sorry there are no good words for any of this) didnt come away.

I completely agree with CMOTDIbbler that you should take into consideration how far along you are and how much your body has already shown signs of starting to expel things, because sadly for some people the natural option isnt really a good option.

There is a lot of very good information here
pregnancyloss.info/
if you are finding your black and white leaflets a bit lacking.

I also second the advice to organise some time off work. Physically and emotionally its no small thing to go through.

Do let us know how you get on,

best wishes xxxxxxxxxxxxx

So sorry to hear your news. I was found to have had a MMC some years ago. The baby stopped developing at 4-5 weeks and I think I finally miscarried at about 8.

sparkly

I experienced exactly the same as you and its hideous, im so sorry for what you are going through. There are just no words!

Its heartbreaking to get that far in, to have all the symptoms, the start of a bump and for them to then tell you there is nothing in the sack. The very same thing happened to me at 12+5 their dates 11+6 my dates! I had started to have a show, which then led to full on natural MC. Thankfully it was painless and the worst was over within a couple of days - and we were at home! Sadly as you see above, thats not always the way. They will re-scan you after 7 days, then they will recommend medical intervention if you havent started to pass the "debris" yourself. For me medical intervention wasnt really an option if avoidable, following 1 difficult labour & delivery i was worried about the effect on my cervix (although thats just my fears!) thankfully it came out on its own and my body is getting back to normal now. I am told if it happens naturally your body gets back to normal more quickly, but i dont know if that is true or not!

((((HUGS)))) i hope you are doing as ok as you can xxxx

Hello Ladies. I am in the middle of experiencing the same thing. I was supposed to have been 10+2 today but started bleeding last Wednesday night. A scan the following day revealed a MMC (blighted ovum too) and because the sac was slightly too small, they have asked to scan me again this Friday and have scheduled an evacuation for right afterwards. However, a light period over the weekend ended with the flood gates opening this morning when at 4am I was awoken with awful stomach cramps (every ten mins) and my Always Ultra Extra Thick and Extra Long (!) - changed only an hour before - was soaked through right to my PJs. Now got a continuous heavy bleed and lots of clotting. I daren't leave the house and am working from home, on the sofa with my laptop.
I initially didn't want to but in hindsight am so glad I took the decision to tell the office. Although I am worried that I have now jeopardised any promotion / payrise plans, it meant they understood my erratic absence from the office in a way that a made up migraine / flu virus wouldn't cover. I chose to take Thurs and Fri as sick. Monday and today I worked from home. Friday they know I'm at the hospital and then tomorrow and Thurs who knows. Out of interest, for those ladies that had a major huge bleed, how long did it last?
Like you all I am sure, I am absolutely gutted but trying to be strong. I plan to get back trying as soon as I can. I have PCOS so need to get back on Metformin once my bleeding stops and my GP (an angel) has referred me to see a fertility specialist, the appointment for which is early December.
Hopefully we will all end up with lovely healthy babies one day soon in the future. Whoever said this baby-making stuff was easy was lying!

It's lovely to have so many nice replies, and so sad that this is a common occurance. Having read other threads, the news for the future seems heartening though. Rubybuttons, twins, how lovely! The current situation is that I am off work, went in Monday but spent most of the day on MN so thought I would go home to rest, but then my sister went into labour in the early hours of yesterday morning so rushed off round there are I am designated babysitter to my two year old niece. I've only just got home, as the contractions slowed down and only picked up today after a hot bath and promises of gifts for the soon-to-be-born (someone already knows Auntie has been to Cath Kidston!) Subsequently I've not had a great deal of time to myself, but on Monday we decided to book in for the ERPC as a sort of fallback option, as I don't think my body is going to do anything naturally. No cramping or signs of bleeding, just a lot of bloating, and I would be 14 weeks next weekend. Imagine if I'd had an 8 week scan and left things to take it's course I'd now have been waiting nearly 6 weeks! Practically too, I need to see a resolution to this, recover emotionally (healing time now scheduled for next week after baby is born!) and then try again. I am waiting for the hospital to call me and hopefully book me in for Friday. I might have to go for a pre-op appointment tomorrow and am a bit worried about the logistics of babysitting (as have no car and sister lives in a remote-ish village) and also bumping into her in hopsital, as she has no idea. Silly fears really, I guess I'm just tired and it's been nice to realise I am not as self-centred as I'd thought. Going to try and get some sleep before the nursery pick-up, so sorry for everyone else going through this and actually I am at least relieved there is no embryo as that would be a whole different level of emotional pain for me personally. Thanks for sharing your situations, this is just the best forum for help and hugs. Sometimes this feels like it could be something that could be got over quickly, wasn't meant to be, move on, but then you see a sleeping newborn (they are suddenly everywhere), and feel a rising panicky distress and have to fight for calm. Larami, the baby making was a cinch, it's the seeing it to term that appears to be difficult, and watching my sister in agony earlier the labour appears to be no stroll in the park either May we all go through it happily and soon anyway x

Sparkly so sorry to read your post. I had an MMC blighted ovum at 10 weeks a few years ago. Rather than waiting for nature to take it's course, or go for a D&C, I went into hospital for the day and took drugs which caused me to pass the sac vaginally. It was painful and distressing but the best option for me.

The worst thing for me about having a blighted ovum was the fact that I had been getting so excited about a non-existent baby. But I did lose a baby and still feel sad about it at times, even though I've just had my second DD. I fell pregnant with DD1 three months after the MMC, but you never forget what could have been.

I hope that whether you naturally miscarry or go for an ERPC that you take the time to grieve and are kind to yourself. You may feel fine one day and terrible the next - I used to come back from work and howl sometimes - but with time the pain does lessen.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, I went through this some years ago and had a D&C. I'd never heard of a blighted ovum until then and I rang the Miscarriage Association quite apologetically because I felt it somehow "didn't count" as a miscarriage, I hope you don't feel that way.
You were pregnant and it was your baby.

Hey sparkly, this is awful, ive had 3 of the buggers and can honestly say that they were the worst experiences of my life.

1st i wanted to let nature take its course, it ended at 13 weeks, i knew from 7 weeks that it would. It was excruciatingly painful, i went to hospital and had gas and air, morphine and cocodamol, it was over in about 4 hours.

2nd ended at 9 weeks, i opted for medication to end it sooner, same level of pain, needed very strong drugs, gas and air.

3rd again, opted for medication, took about 12 hours to be over and done with, again, i was hospitalised due to the severity of the pain.

What is devatating is that all the of normal preganancy symptoms are there, nausea, sore boobs, feeling funny in tummy, all very strong, but for me they do not mean anything. They are false hope.

So, i agree, the wait is dreadful, but in the end i was glad i waited as i wanted to know absolutely and without a doubt that this was what should happen iyswim.
No further advice, but just dotn be brave, if you need drugs, get them.

To add to what Snaped has just said, I'd echo that if you can get medical assistance then do... I have my D&C on Friday but am naturally miscarrying now and not only is the bleeding and pain pretty horrible, but what comes out in the loo / when you wipe is horrendous... To say clotting is an understatement - it can be far, far more graphic than that.

Sparkly I have nothing but admiration for you. This is tough enough to cope with without having to do it in silence whilst your sister is in the process of giving birth and you're having to babysit. Massive cyber hugs coming your way. I'm glad you've reached a decision that suits you. There is no easy option, but I wouldn't go through a natural mc again if you paid me! It was utterly horrendous. Your choice sounds like the healthiest plan to me, both emtionally and physically. The very best of luck to you. Come back and talk to us if you find it helps at any stage.

Snaped, I am very sorry for your losses, I don't know if I could go through this another couple of times. Is there any good news on the horizon for you? Well had the ERPC yesterday afternoon, as no signs of anything occurring naturally and the bruising feeling was getting worse so I was starting to worry about infection. It seemed to go ok, no-one mentioned steroids up my bum, is there no dignity?! The anaesthetic was lovely actually, like a deep sleep and I came round asking if I'd just been Christmas shopping. I am a stranger to drugs, but can now see the appeal of the happy ones, ha! I was home by 6pm feeling a bit emotional but physically alright, just a bit of period pain, and the bleeding is only light spotting. Feel like a teenager again with a massive pad on. Ibuprofen Extra seems to be keeping the pain at bay. I was starving when I got in so had half a pizza and (ahem) a glass of sparkly . Today I am determined to take it easy to allow myself time to recover, but finding it hard to sit still (nice day to mow the grass) so will have to force myself to sit around eating cake . Sister gave birth on Wednesday, a beautiful baby girl. Had no urge to steal her away which was good, I'm clearly not a crazed loon, but did have a good sob when I got in, and had a massive urge to go baby shopping for teddy bears and things for my lost little one. Still want to decorate the nursery, funny that the urge to nest is just as strong, and I can't wait to get pregnant again but will wait for a period or two to get healthy. Now hoping for my body to return to normal as soon as possible, that seems to be the next hurdle. Thanks again for all your support and shared stories ladies, you are magnificent!

So pleased to hear that you're okay. Don't be surprised if you feel a bit wobbly further down the line, potentially when you least expect it. I actually felt worse about a month or so later when it had sunk in. You sound to be coping marvellously though, especially given your sister's new arrival.

I understand all too well the need to get better and try again. Be kind to yourself and drink lots of sparkly in the meantime.

Sparklywine so glad to hear you're doing ok and glad you've found support here.

rachk32, so sorry to hear of your loss and hope you are coping 3 weeks on. I miscarried in Jan 2008, I had a period 4 weeks later then conceived the twins the next cycle, in March 2008. I felt very blessed and still do.

All the best to all you ladies and really hoping you go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies in the future xxx

well three weeks on ladies and im doing ok. Had to go back to docs twice this week just to check pains were all normal as i had a fairly distressing natural mc as i really hadnt a clue what to expect and my midwife hadnt really prepared me.
Anyhow im on the mend now. This week was my first week back to work after a month off and it was very hard as i do a regional job looking after over 300 shops and as i was 13 weeks many people knew i was preggers but didnt know id lost the baby, which was pretty terrible tbh. Anyhow ive got through it and im still here and thinking positive about the future and hopefully i will also be sharing good news with you all sometime next yr. Thanks again for all your support ladies, its really helping me through. X