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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Positive Stories Please.xx

8 replies

KBarns39 · 05/10/2010 14:27


I'm 39 (40 in March) and mc last Friday. I do have 2 gorgeous children, DD 10 and DS 21months. My DH and I would like one more but being my age, I'm scared of recurrent mc's and the fact that so many people tell you horror stories...

Can I please hear positive stories. I am trying to stay positive and would hate to go through this experience again...

Thanks. xx

OP posts:
sotough · 06/10/2010 20:07

not sure why nobody has responded to this, except for the obvious fact that at 39 you are unfortunately quite likely to have more miscarriages as egg quality will not be nearly as good as when you were younger.
the fact that you did conceive recently shows you're still very much 'in the game'. in the end you have to decide how important having another baby is to you and your DH. if it is something you dream of and long for, then you will keep throwing the dice until you get there. you will get through multiple miscarriages, if necessary, in order to have the baby you want so much. If on the other hand you're not too desperate for another child, then you may consider the risk of one or more further miscarriages too much to bear.

randomimposter · 06/10/2010 20:55

sotough is spot on...
saw your post but as I don't have a very encouraging story myself didn't particularly feel I could reassure you as such.

One MC is SO common; lots of women of 40ish might have 2 or 3 or more. BUT you might not. There are no guarantees.

You just have to weigh up the costs and benefits - I don't mean to be crass. But literally is it worth the risk of another MC to have another child? Only you can answer that for your own family and own situation.

Good luck x

MummyWilliams · 06/10/2010 22:55

I have nothing positive to add, but thought I would share in brief my story.

I have DD 9, DS 7. Split up with their father. Met a wonderful new DP, want to have a child together - to unite our family in a way I suppose. I am 39 will be 40 in June 2011- eek!

I lost at 15 weeks in April last year (MMC baby had died at 12 weeks), again I lost at 18 weeks this year (April again - baby died because cord was around his neck 6 times). I am now 9+3 weeks pregnant - I desperately want OUR baby - I am not giving up yet.

I wanted you to know my story because although we have had such terrible heartache - still have. I am NOT giving up.

Very, very best wishes to you with whatever you decide is right for you.


MummyWilliams · 06/10/2010 22:57

I am not sure if I should've told you my side of things now. I just wanted you to know that even if it is bad along the way - if you want something so bad you will find the strength somewhere to carry on trying.

Every woman is different, as is every pregnancy.

I hope I haven't upset or offended you with my earlier post.

Lynli · 06/10/2010 23:05

I had a late MC at the age of 38.

I fell pregnant again and had my lovely DS at the age of 39.

KBarns39 · 08/10/2010 20:08

No, thanks for the comments.

So sorry for the losses, heartbreaking.

I am aware of the risks and will try to keep positive! I guess there are so many sad stories, its nice to hear the positive ones.

Hopefully the next egg will be spot on!!

OP posts:
Sarahlou8 · 11/10/2010 12:24

I am 37 and after having two children and a ten year gap, decided to go for a third.
Unfortunately I lost the baby at 15 weeks which was devastating and the attitude at the hospital was almost 'well, what did you expect, you are over 35'

But on saying that, I conceived that pregnancy within 2 months of trying, and this current one within 3 months of my mc, and now, at 38 weeks, can't wait to meet my baby.

I didn't know at the time if I was strong enough to try again, or whether at my age, I was asking for trouble, but you have to weigh up further down the line whether you will regret not trying. There is every chance that the next one will be fine, especially as your youngest is only 20 months.
Good luck xx

KBarns39 · 11/10/2010 22:10

Thanks. Yes, we didn't seem to have a problem conceiving this time (or last time).

It's lovely to hear the good stories.

We will try again and hopefully will be ok next time around.xx

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