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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Am i wrong for wanting to try again so soon??

5 replies

k1r5t1e · 29/09/2010 21:54

Hi all i am still recovering from a mmc which was confirmed at 10 and half weeks, i was trying to concieve for 3 years before finally managing to get caught but at 8 and half weeks my angel died :( i have wanted a baby for so long now and feel guilty for wanting to try again so soon as i dont and wont want to ever replace the baby iv just lost......please anyone with advise help

OP posts:
kat2504 · 29/09/2010 22:13

I don't have any advice but I am in the same position in that I am ttc and had a mc recently. At first I DID want to replace the lost baby. I thought if I caught again before I had a period it would be almost as if it never happened. I did, thankfully, get my period as I don't think it would have been good to go into a new preg thinking like that. But I do really really want a baby and now I know when I do get pregant it won't replace all the lovely dreams I had for my first, and I'll always have the sadness of my lovely first pregnancy dreams come true, and all the joy of next time will still be tinged with the sadness of what might have been.
That said, I'd feel that way no matter how long I waited. so why waste valuable time? If I am ever lucky enough to hold my firstborn in my arms, I'll be the happiest person alive. But I'll still remember this first pregnancy that didn't work out. The first time I saw those 2 lines, the first time I told my partner, all those little things will always be special to me.
I really want a baby. Not to replace my lost one, but because I want to be a mum. I hope that dream will come true for us both in the very near future. Don't feel guilty, your feelings are quite normal. All the bestx

kat2504 · 29/09/2010 22:15

or "not come true" was what i meant to type! have had a couple of vinos!

hester · 29/09/2010 22:26

Huge sympathies to you both. I tried for a baby for years before I finally conceived, at the age of 40. Then I miscarried. It was definitely one of the worst experiences of my life - the pain was like a physical burning inside me.

I carried on ttc immediately. The next month I was convinced I was pg. I wasn't. It hurt almost as much as the mc - I realise now that it was all part of the same grief, that I felt that if I could get pg again immediately it would somehow be recapturing the pregnancy I had lost.

But I did conceive three months later. I now have two daughters. So my advice would be to start ttc as soon as you want to, but to be aware that you will be very vulnerable and take extra care of yourself. And don't feel guilty about 'replacing' your lost child with another: to be brutally honest, the best palliative for miscarriage is another pregnancy. Very best of luck.

k1r5t1e · 29/09/2010 22:31

Thank you both for your replys i just didnt want to seem like a heartless bit*h for wanting a child so soon, maybe i will try again but first i think i need to let my body heal itself and get my first period out the way

OP posts:
TwilightSurfer · 03/10/2010 02:04

For me TTC DC2 took 13 months only to MC at 10 weeks. 17 days later, without an AF, conceived DD2 who is now 2 years old. I don't think about the MC as anything but nature's course. My DC2 was meant to be for me.

and on your journey. Smile

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